Monday, October 8, 2012

Do Unto Others...

Anyone who knows me has heard me say over and over that I pride myself on living on by two very basic principles; (1) Treat others the way you want to be treated and (2) we teach others how to treat us.

While no one is perfect and certainly we all have those days when we lose our cool and say or do things that we might say or do differently given a retake, I find it hard to accept when folks are deliberately and consistently mean and nasty. My contempt is not reserved for the outwardly mean and nasty, I have similar disdain for the “passive aggressives”. You know those “nice”, meek, mild manner folks that everyone loves who smile in your face as they twist a jagged and honey coated knife in your back. They are actually worse than the overt mean guy because you didn’t see them coming. They are wolves in sheep clothing who, when confronted, will feign ignorance regarding the impact of their covert, but very deliberate and mean-spirited activity.  
 
No matter the inspiration or intent, I don’t get mean and nasty. I really don’t. It seems to take much more energy to be unkind than it does to be nice. If being nice and respectful of others presents such a huge burden, then do those around you a favor and be absent or indifferent. Just ignore us. When in doubt regarding the perception or impact of your behavior, imagine yourself as the recipient of YOU. How would your behavior make you feel? Warm and fuzzy? Respected? If not, ease up!!!

Conversely, if you are on the receiving end of Mr/Mrs “Congeniality’s” random acts of “kindness”, you have a responsibility to manage how you are treated. It’s all about perception. If you emit that you are a doormat, you will be walked upon and treated as such. If you exude confidence, love of self and a willingness to defend yourself, your adversaries, real or imagined, will make note of such and accordingly temper their interactions with and treatment of you. They will know, or come to know, that you will prove a force with whom they will surely have to reckon. Some will respect this position and not shy away from the inevitable show down, others will be intimidated and retreat or, at least, temper their behavior.

As long as you don’t pick the fight, another’s response to your defense of you is not your problem to manage. My advice is for as long as you can, take the high road and where possible, avoid confrontation. Try to diffuse or redirect the situation. However, when diplomacy, tact and civility fall by the wayside, handle your business!!! Push back HARD and push back DECISIVELY!!! Often I quote a pre-school teacher’s description of my younger sister’s social behavior; “will bite when provoked”. Translation – Don’t bother me, I won’t bother you.

It ain’t rocket science folks! Do Unto Others…

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

OnThis Day...

Talk about being blessed???

On Sunday evening I was helping a Friend in need. I went to retrieve her from the emergency ward of a hospital in the Philly suburbs. Of course there is no "in & out" at an emergency room... So I waited with her in her room for well over an hour.

When we were ready to leave, I realized that my purse was no where in sight! Of course I panicked and tried to retrace my steps. Thinking I must have left it in the car, while getting my parking pass validated, it occurred to me that I had stopped to use the restroom in the public waiting area MORE than an hour ago.
...

In a frenzy, I ran to the bathroom, flung open the door and MUCH to my delight and relief, there sat my purse. I thought surely my wallet was gone. NO, still there. Surely the cash, credit cards and SS card that I have been warned a million times to remove from my purse, are gone. NOPE, Still there too!!! My faith in mankind, RESTORED!!!

Of course I give credit and thank God for always watching over me but I gotta' give it up for good Karma. I do try and I am guided by "Do Unto Others". SOMETIMES, just SOMETIMES, it comes back and in a good way! 
 
Have a HAPPY Wednesday & Please Be Good to Others!!!