Friday, July 17, 2026

The Times In Which We Live...


Yesterday I saw a young Black girl in the store with an older white woman. She was about 11 or 12 years old. Something about her or maybe my heightened awareness of recent incidents of harm being done to unsuspecting Black folks, made me want to ask lil' Sis, if she was okay. I hope my eyes conveyed my concern such that she knew I was a safe harbor if she needed it. 


I'm not paranoid, or even racist, as some will deflect, but these are the times in which we are living. Two white folks were recently convicted for brutally abusing several Black children they adopted. Lynchings are on the rise. We are to believe that a young Black wrestler killed himself by rolling himself in a wrestling mat. Let us not forget Tamla Horsford, the 40-year-old Black mother of five athletic sons, found dead in the backyard after a sleepover with white soccer moms. 


The stories of abuse or death of unsuspecting Black boys by their white "friends" is off the chain. Even white folks on social media are warning Black folks to be more careful and not so trusting in white spaces. I hear them...


I have said it for a long time now, and I will continue to say it, if white people knew the true depth of barbarity in their history, instead of spreading a narrative that they should clutch their pearls and fear Black folks, they would wonder why we're not afraid of them. 👀 


Be careful folks. We must be careful about the situations in which we put ourselves, certainly our children. How many of you hold inside or come home from work or some other integrated situation complaining about some negative experience you had with a white person, overtly or passively? What makes you then think that somehow our children can navigate that? Without the proper tools, they cannot... 


We are not protecting them when we don't talk to them about racism and discrimination, past or present. We do them no favor when we don't teach them to recognize the red flags, instead, we harm them. We harm, not protect them, by not passing down stories, not telling them their history (the good to fortify them, the bad to prepare them), not sharing our personal experiences, not instilling in them the skill of discernment to be on the alert at all times. 


There's a way to do that without exchanging their innocence of youth for a constant state of paranoia or making them feel tense or on guard at all times but rather, alert and aware of the signs to notice when things are out of sorts. They will know to err on the side of caution and not second guess their intuition telling themselves that something's wrong with them when it is not. Teach them to assess their surroundings to know good and bad people in their proximity. Teach them to identify good folks, both Black and white, who can be trusted to help in these situations. 


Have you all seen the social media posts where non-Black parents are teaching their children that if they're in a situation that doesn't feel safe, to find a Black woman to protect them. 👀 Sidebar: Black folks are feeling some kinda' way about this for a bunch of reasons. Again, however, it's not paranoia, it's survival. 


Is this fair? Are these pleasant conversations to have with our Black children? No, but they are necessary conversations that can be a matter of life or death in these times in which we are living. More importantly, it is responsible parenting...


We are hearing too many of stories from far too many Black families left with no resolve, no justice, therefore, no peace, after an inexplicable and sudden death or missing of a loved one. Miss Higgi Prays that each family so affected, find justice and peace... 🙏🏿




Thursday, July 16, 2026

Meet Joan Trumpauer, A White Woman Who Traded Her Privilege to Stand in Her Truth


We've all at least pondered what we would have done had we lived when America was "great". Well, here we are.


We are reliving a continuation of the worst of America's history. These are the times one promotes in chants to "Make America Great Again". This is the "great" they want to return to?


Meet Joan Trumpauer. She was a real one. She is a white woman who traded her privilege to stand in her truth. She put her life on the line for what she believed. Are you a Joan?


We need more Joans at this time. History does not allow that you just look the other way, pretending it's not that bad or that it's not really happening. History does not allow you to be ignorant or silent...


So, what are you going to do? I challenge us all to channel our innermost Joan and get to work. White folks, especially you "liberals", white women in particular, I need you to be the ally you say you are. 👀 Roll up your sleeves...


Pass on Joan's story to educate and inspire others.  Story Source: Informatify Facebook page 



She was a white Southern girl descended from slave owners — raised by a mother who believed in segregation. At nineteen, she threw all of that away, and it landed her on death row. And that was only the beginning of what she was willing to lose...


Her name was Joan Trumpauer, and she grew up in Arlington, Virginia, on the comfortable side of every line the segregated South had drawn.


Her family had once owned slaves in Georgia. Her mother was a staunch segregationist. Everything about Joan's world was arranged to reward her for looking away — to keep her safe, protected, and silent inside a system built for people who looked like her. The path in front of her was the easy one: finish school, marry well, live quietly, never make trouble.


But Joan couldn't stop seeing what that comfort was built on. Raised in the church, she kept colliding with the unbearable contradiction between what she'd been taught about justice and the injustice she watched every day. And at some point she made a decision that would cost her nearly everything: she would no longer stand on the comfortable side of it.


In 1961, at nineteen, she joined the Freedom Riders.


Their idea sounded almost mundane. Black and white Americans would ride interstate buses together and use the same waiting rooms and counters, regardless of race. No weapons, no threats — just a refusal to obey laws built on inequality.


In 1961, that refusal could get you killed. Freedom Riders were beaten in broad daylight, buses firebombed, mobs waiting at stations with chains and clubs.


Joan knew all of it. She boarded the bus anyway.


When she reached Jackson, Mississippi, she was arrested almost immediately. And then she was offered the easy way out that would follow her for years: pay the fine, leave Mississippi, go home, forget the whole thing.


She refused.


So they sent her to Parchman Farm — the Mississippi State Penitentiary, a place designed not merely to punish people but to break them. And here is a detail that tells you everything about what she endured: because Parchman had no women's wing, nineteen-year-old Joan was held in a cell on death row, crammed in with seventeen other women.


She spent about two months there. The heat was suffocating. The guards leaned on psychological cruelty as much as physical confinement, subjecting the women to invasive, degrading "examinations" designed purely to show they could do anything they wanted. They were making clear, Joan said, that they had total power — and probably would use it.


And through all of it, the guards reminded her of the one thing they thought she'd forgotten: she was white. Unlike the Black prisoners beside her, she could leave anytime — she only had to say she was sorry.


She never did.


Most people, after Parchman, would have gone home. Joan went deeper.


She dropped out of Duke and enrolled at Tougaloo College in Jackson — the first white student at the historically Black school. Her reasoning was pure, defiant logic: if whites would riot over Black students integrating white colleges, what would they do about a white student integrating a Black one? At Tougaloo she worked alongside Medgar Evers, met Martin Luther King Jr., roomed with the writer Anne Moody, and became the first white member of the Delta Sigma Theta sorority.


Her family couldn't understand it. Threatening letters arrived. And to the segregationists of Mississippi, her real crime was never simply breaking their laws — it was choosing empathy over the privilege she'd been handed at birth.


Then came May 28, 1963 — and the moment that would put her face in history books.


Joan was one of roughly fourteen activists who staged a sit-in at the whites-only lunch counter of the Woolworth's in downtown Jackson. Anne Moody was there. So was professor John Salter, and chaplain Ed King. They sat down. They ordered food. That was all.


What followed became one of the most violent sit-ins of the entire Civil Rights Movement. A mob surrounded them and, for nearly three hours, unleashed everything it had. A Black student, Memphis Norman, was dragged to the floor and beaten by a former policeman. Salter was burned with cigarettes and hit with brass knuckles. The crowd screamed "communist" and worse, and a man pointed straight at Joan and called her a "race traitor." They poured ketchup, mustard, sugar, and spray paint over the activists' heads, spat on them, and punched them.


The police stood nearby and watched. No one stepped in.


And a photographer named Fred Blackwell captured it — three people at a lunch counter, dripping with condiments, ringed by faces contorted with hate, refusing to move. The picture went around the world. It became one of the defining images of the movement, because it showed something no argument could: that sometimes the bravest thing a person can do is simply refuse to get up.


The danger only escalated. Three weeks after Woolworth's, Medgar Evers was murdered in his own driveway. The next year, Joan briefed a young activist named Michael Schwerner on how to survive as a white organizer in Mississippi — one day before Schwerner was kidnapped and murdered alongside Andrew Goodman and James Chaney.


And one night in 1964, on a dark road near Canton, the Ku Klux Klan surrounded the car Joan was riding in and beat the driver. They escaped. She later learned the Klan had meant to kill her that night — and when they failed, they murdered three other activists instead.


She kept going anyway. She helped organize the March on Washington. She was arrested again and again — taking part, over the years, in dozens of sit-ins and demonstrations. She never stopped showing up.


Eventually Joan Trumpauer Mulholland became a teacher, spending decades in the classroom before founding a foundation to teach young people about the movement. Now in her eighties, she still speaks to students across America. And when they ask where she found the courage, her answer is disarmingly plain: she never thought of herself as especially brave. She simply knew what was right — and once you truly know a thing is right, she says, pretending you don't becomes impossible.


She summed up her whole life in a single sentence, back in 1963: "I'm trying to help America become what it says it is."


She wasn't forced into any of it. She was never denied a single right she risked her life to win for others. She could have lived a comfortable, quiet life and lost nothing.


Instead, at nineteen, she crossed the line she'd been warned her whole life never to cross. And she never crossed back.


Her story leaves a question for the rest of us. When we see injustice in our own time — and it costs something to say so — which side of the line are we standing on? Had you ever heard of Joan Trumpauer Mulholland before today? Tell us below, and share her name forward. The quiet ones who refuse to look away deserve to be remembered too.


Source: Informatify (Facebook)


                          She earned it!

Sunday, July 12, 2026

The Dearly Departed


America woke this morning to news that senator lindsey graham died. Speculation is rampant that mitch mcConnell is at least brain dead, but no confirmation has been made. Good Sunday Morning...

A friend said, mostly because of her job, that she refrains from making jubilant posts on social media following incidents of death or harm to others. I understand, and given normal circumstances, I would agree.

I must say, however, that we are not living in normal times. We are living in a time and place of absolute chaos and incivility. Our usual defenders are not fighting for us, not our legal system, our media outlets, our legislators. No one! The American people have been left to our own devices. 

Enter, social media where We The People gather to vent...

This nation is being led by the worst of the worst. Cancer left untreated festers, grows, and metastasizes over time. Untreated cancer left to consume America has adversely affected us all.

Taking the high road, being kind and gracious and civil in the face of such incivility has not served us well. Do we need to stoop to the lows where others dwell? No, not necessarily. If ever, however, there was a time to respond in kind, it is now.

If, in fact, some of the comments seem venomous or mean spirited, it is because the deceased earned such responses.

One is due in death the same level of decorum, respect, civility, and compassion by which they lived and afforded others during their lifetime. The inevitable incident of death does not make a horrible person a better person. They are simply a dead person who was horrible and who most folks, including their family, will remember accordingly. There will be no fake tears or other usual acts of mourning.

If you live a horrible life, that's how people will remember you. What is new, however, is that moreso now, people are prone to express how they truly feel about the 'dearly departed' in the immediate. We have been conditioned to not speak ill of the dead.

These departed others, however, are not friends or family members who, although we didn't particularly care for, we still might owe some degree of respect. These are politicians and other public figures, people who were in positions of power who brought us harm. People who probably wielded their power irresponsibly and deliberately in ways to negatively affect our lives. They will be gone but the impact of the pain and suffering they caused will long endure. So, if public response to their demise is less than civil, they earned it. They are not our neighbor, friend, or loved one.

Justice scalia was the first public figure I recall being brutally scorned post death seemingly even before his eyes were closed. He was a horrible person, as was lindsey, as was mitch, as was rush, as is elon, as is trump (the celebration will be massive and global - we will experience world peace for as long as the celebration lasts, earning him posthumously, his shamelessly desired Nobel Prize 🤷🏾).

The list of potential candidates for the list of public figures of ill repute, is infinite. It encompasses more names than I could ever cite. The difference is that previously we waited for history to judge these people. In these times, however, there is no need to wait for history. History is being written about them in real time, even during their life.

They were/are horrible, horrible people. May they have an eternal reunion in hell...

FN: If these people were your loved or special ones and you ignored, excused, condoned, or remained silent as they committed their damning deeds, you were complicit in your silence. You were quiet and unbothered then, please be quiet and unbothered now. Refrain from lashing at others not sensitive to your time of sorrow. Speak not, as you spoke not when your 'dearly departed' was still here unapologetically causing grief and wreaking havoc upon the others of us...

~ Miss Higgi Says


Saturday, July 4, 2026

America 250

 

Merriam-Webster defines independence as, “the state of being free from the control, influence, or support of others. It is the ability to make your own decisions, govern yourself, and take care of your own needs”. It encompasses personal independence, political independence, and independence of mind.

Independence Day, also known as the 4th of July, is an American holiday commemorating America gaining independence from Great Britain in 1776. Today marks 250 years of that independence. Tones of freedom ring loudly in the celebration of the holiday.


Freedom is the foundation of The Declaration of Independence, the historic document commemorating the day asserting that all people have natural rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Thomas Jefferson writes this celebrated document as he enslaves Black people, impregnating a minor Sally Hemings. The hypocrisy…


Enter Frederick Douglass...  


On July 5, 1852, Mr. Douglass, a self-emancipated Black man through escape from slavery, is invited by the Rochester Ladies’ Anti-Slavery Society, to offer an address in honor of America’s Independence Day. Per usual, he rose to the occasion in grand style and delivered one of his most memorable and powerful speeches, “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?”, wherein he challenged the hypocrisy of a nation espousing liberty and freedom as core values while enslaving Black people.


Although not aware of Mr. Douglass’ speech for most of my life, as it was not taught in American schools, the hypocrisy he so eloquently described has always been rooted in my soul. Always, I have felt conflicted about this holiday of “independence” that America goes all out for. It has simply always been paid time off to spend with family and friends. I, too, questioned what exactly we were celebrating? Freedom? Independence? Whose freedom? Whose independence? Aren’t we still having the same conversations in 2026 that Mr. Douglass raised for debate in the 1800s, the humanity and citizenship of Black Americans? So, tell me again, what are we celebrating?


Celebrating Independence Day has always been a challenge for me and, I think, many Black Americans. Cause for celebration of the holiday this year, however, is heightened in that it marks 250 years of America’s freedom, the self-proclaimed global example and blueprint of democracy to be revered and modeled by all. I remember questioning all the hoopla even as a teen in 1976, the exaggerated celebration felt hypocritical.


This milestone celebration of 250 years, however, is different.


 In 1976 all the stops were pulled out for the bicentennial. The nation excitedly prepared for this celebration, months, if not years, in advance of the actual day. There were military parades, profound speeches were prepared and delivered, a commemorative coin was coined, extraordinary fireworks and grand community celebrations were had. We were inundated with everything red, white, and blue.


This year, the mood is very different. I am even further removed from there being a holiday such that, when I walked into my gym last week, I asked, what’s up with the red, white, and blue? Seriously, I am totally checked out. The lack of national excitement or enthusiasm for celebration of the 250th year of America’s independence allows one to be checked out.


Collectively, We The People are a functionally depressed nation, going through the motions, tolerating or managing what feels like the worst of times, certainly not a time of celebration. Each day we awake to another day of WTF did he do while we slept.  Many are fleeing the country or considering it. It’s exhausting…


Didn’t we resolve this in 2020? How did we get here again? America MUST examine herself and seriously ponder the consideration of answers to that question. I digress...


The nation is under siege from within. Instead of being internationally celebrated for 250 years of model democracy, freedom, and independence, the US is being ridiculed and shunned for slipping into a place of darkness in pursuit of recreating the ugliest and gravest of her original sins. She wants her property back. You too, white women…


The white house, turned cheap, gawdy gold, has been turned into a circus and junk yard combined as one. The reflecting pool is now a cesspool filled with algae. Foreign leaders are being kidnapped and brought to the US to be tried for crimes against their nation, as crimes and corruption is being actively and openly practiced by “leaders”, themselves convicted, at the very helm of this nation. The hypocrisy…


Innocent fisherman and children in school are being bombed just because…   


Americans are losing basic freedoms we have come to take for granted. While we were preoccupied and distracted with interpretation and adherence to the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms, our 1st Amendment rights to free speech, free press, right to assemble, right to privacy, and such, were being dismantled. Education, healthcare, and welfare systems are being demolished. People who failed to vote or who voted in the interest of harm to others but not to themselves, are 'finding out' as harm knocks on their door…


We The People, are truly unrepresented. So, tell me again, what are we celebrating?   


A friend summed it up this morning with his Facebook post, “It feels weird to celebrate our independence, when it’s pretty clear we’re losing it”.  Some of us have never truly had it…      


Merriam-Webster defines subjugation as the act of bringing people, a territory, or a group under    complete control and forced submission. It involves one dominant party taking away the freedoms, sovereignty, or rights of another, often through conquest, oppressive rule, or systemic power imbalances.


We are at a crossroad folks. Which way will we turn?

 

Miss Higgi Says, Happy Subjugation Day? 🤷🏾

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

A Serious Question

A serious question y'all, why the disparity in how we honor Black fathers as opposed to Black mothers? 🤷🏾

On Sunday I hosted a gathering to celebrate Black Fathers. It was the smallest crowd that I've ever had on any of my calls, less than 20 people showed up. ZERO Black men showed up. One did text a regret as he'd gotten a last minute birthday dinner invitation. Happy Birthday Friend!!! Otherwise, no men... 

It left me with so many questions.

Did people not show up because they don't feel Black fathers are worthy of celebration? Do bad daddy stories overshadow good daddy stories? 🤷🏾

Black men complain all the time that Black mothers are held in higher regard. Still, even they didn't show up to be celebrated or to celebrate themselves.

I would like to think that people were not available because they were spending quality time with dear old dad. Not so sure... 

In speaking with a friend yesterday morning, she shared that her pastor expressed from the pulpit his disappointment in the disparity of how we celebrate Mothers and Fathers on their special day. He noted that when he called XYZ restaurant expecting not to be able to get a reservation on Father's Day, given such short notice, he was told to come on down. He didn't need a reservation. There was plenty of room. On Mother's Day at XYZ restaurant, one had to have made the reservation at least a month in advance. He pondered why not the same for Father's Day.

Interesting, right? 

So why didn't Black folks show up on Sunday to celebrate Black fathers with When Black Women Gather? As on Mother's Day, I wasn't expecting a large turnout. But almost no turnout? I wasn't expecting that...

Thank you to those ladies who did show up. Your stories were inspiring. Keep telling them...

It's a serious question y'all. Something has gone awry in our community.  We see it, we know it all too well. More importantly,  however, we know that we MUST address it.

Concerned that some people might have felt conflicted about "celebrating Black Fathers" because they didn't have a positive story to tell, I expanded the celebration beyond fathers to include brothers, sons, mentors, even historic or public Black male figures they admire, any Black male who has inspired or encouraged them. Still, they didn't show up... 🤷🏾

Let me be clear that when I host gatherings in celebration of Black mothers, invariably there are daughters who tell me they did not have a positive experience with their mother. So, the hurt and disappointment goes both ways. Overwhelmingly, however, bad Mom or not, the celebration of Black mothers far exceeds that of Black fathers.

This year, almost without exception, I made a special effort to acknowledge all the men in my phone for Father's Day with a text message of the image below, even some with whom I no longer communicate. My wanting Black men in my life especially, to know they are seen, loved, and cared about, superseded personal differences. Most responded thanking me for thinking of them. Sadly, one friend responded that mine was the only greeting he received. He has children. 👀 Again, the hurt goes both ways...

I had gathered positive statistics to share during our gathering to celebrate Black fathers. Black fathers are much more involved and present in their children's lives than is acknowledged, even more than other men, but that's not the story we hear. Instead, we are overwhelmed with the negative. Gatherings such as mine, are essential for our collective soul. Itbis imperative that we tell our own stories. Black children must witness, hear, live, and experience our stories. Our children are our future and were welcome at this event...

I wanted to open with a poem, short story, or short video created by a Black contributor paying positive tribute to Black fathers. I must say finding such accolades was, sadly, quite the challenge. That's a problem y'all...

Years ago, in honor and respect of Black men who are holding it down, I stopped wishing Black women Happy Father's Day. I recognize that women, although sometimes forced to play both roles, cannot replace fathers in our lives. So, let us value and encourage them.

Please share, if you're open to it, what you think might have been the issue on Sunday. Maybe the sun was shining all around the United States, although my email list includes international participants, and people just had better things to do. I accept that too. I'm just curious...

Share too, if you don't mind, another topic you'd like to explore in gatherings of Black men and women. What do we want to know about one another and/or our experience of or relationships with the other?  

My Black male cousin shared the link below for a positive Black Father movie currently playing on Netflix, Color Book. I haven't seen the movie yet, but the trailer looks inspiring. Check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPEmz5sBjwM

Thank you for indulging my question. Why the disparity and how do we overcome it? I love me some us and will always do my part to encourage that we heal, love, encourage, and honor one another.

FYI, I will not host a Gathering for the next two weeks as I will be away on a special journey of my own. I'll see you again on July 12th.

Take care of one another. We are all we've got and WE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH! 

 In the Forever Spirit of Unity in Our Community, 

~ Miss Higgi 



Friday, June 19, 2026

Breaking Chains on Juneteenth


Happy Juneteenth everyone! 



I think it so appropriate that the Obamas had their celebration yesterday, a day ahead of Juneteenth, and a few weeks before the hypocrisy we're supposed to celebrate in July marking America's 250th anniversary. No thank you, very much. Tell me again, what exactly are we celebrating?

Yesterday reminded me of the value of Black folks to this country. There is no America without Black people. We built this nation physically and otherwise, we are the moral compass of this nation, we are the fiber and the talent and the rhythm of this nation, we are the magnet bringing folks together. There is no America of worth without us. The Obama's reminded us of that yesterday in their own subtle way. 

Despite being preyed upon, dehumanized, and the object of monumental traumatizing challenges that most others could never have endured, we survived....

I am so proud of Black people. There is no other person that I would want to be in this whole wide world. Not ever. I want all Black people to share my pride, to feel that way. Break whatever chains that remain on your mind telling you that you're not good enough. We are more than good enough! Oh, yes we are!

What is it that they say, free your mind and your body will follow? Your body is free, allow your mind to follow. 

Anyway, have a great Juneteenth everyone! Do something special in honor of Black folks everywhere. If nothing more, be still and have an intentional talk with the Ancestors just to be reminded...

~ Miss Higgi Says, Break the Chains