Be Merry!!!

Talk about coincidence...

Two years ago I shared a story about leaving my keys in a taxi and a couple who I did not know saw me panicking as the taxi drove away and unbeknownst to me and not knowing me or what I left in the taxi, chased the driver down, retrieved my keys and somehow miraculously found me in the lobby of my building stressing about what I was going to do. They were beyond nice and went beyond the call of duty for me, a total stranger. I was so thankful. They would not let me do anything to repay them for their good deed...

Fast forward a month or so ago I parked my car in the wrong spot where I live and after two days of waiting for me to move my car, the complex finally had it towed. I was relieved it cost me only $136 and that I finally had cause to drive it when I did for with every passing day the bill would have been mounting. It could have cost me a helluva' lot more. I left a thoughtful note of apology on the windshield of the inconvenienced driver.

The space I parked in was only four spaces from where I should have parked. What was I thinking? Who knows??? Anyway, I have been hopeful to physically see the person to really apologize. Parking in Harlem is a bear so I know the inconvenience I caused them. Well lo and behold, finally last night we arrived home at the same time. Can you believe it? It is that same couple! What are the chances of that? There are six high rise buildings with 26 floors each where I live. You can live here and literally never see or meet your neighbors.

The husband recognized me right away as I approached his vehicle. He smiled and said Miss Helen! While I would have never recognized him, my recall for names and faces stinks!, when he said that I knew instantly who he was! AMAZING!!! We laughed and caught up on what has happened in the last year or so, I met his children and was hit instantly with how I will repay he and his wife for being so kind when I truly needed an angel. I will go to Kids R Us and get a nice gift card so that they may get something extra to put under the tree for the children.

Life is something and the world is so small. I was so tickled by my chance meeting. Just wanted to share it with you all too!

Tis' the Season.. Be Jolly, Be Merry, Be Good to others and Always thankful when others are good to you!

Be a Blessing! Receive a Blessing! It's called Karma.

Merry Christmas Folks!

When Justice Is Poetic...

Incredibly, mainstream media virtually ignored coverage of a trial involving an Oklahoma City police officer charged with 36 counts of sexual violations committed against 13 Black women while "upholding" the law and in the course of performing his duties as a police officer. No thanks to pressures from the press, women's groups or others who should have been outraged by these atrocious acts of gross misconduct and abuse of police authority, ultimately he was found guilty of 18 of the charges brought against him on his 29th birthday. When Justice is Poetic...   

 

Excerpts from The Daily Mail:

All of his accusers are black. He preyed on women who had trouble with the law, society's most vulnerable — juveniles, drug addicts, and women in custody or with a criminal history, thinking their word would not stand up against his as society tends not to believe black women or value them as other women. He became more brazen with each attack.

Ligons, a grandmother and daycare worker in her 50's, was pulled over while driving home from a night with friends. She said she knew she had done nothing wrong when Holtzclaw assaulted her. 'He did things to me that I didn't think a police officer would do,' 'I was out there alone and helpless, didn't know what to do. 'All I could think of was he was going to shoot me, he was going to kill me. 'I kept pleading, 'Don't make me do this, sir. Are you going to shoot me?'' 'I was so afraid, so helpless.'

Ligons was different from other victims in that she did not have any outstanding warrants or convictions against her. It is her complaint that triggered the investigation leading to charges against the serial rapist cop who victimized 13 women as an Oklahoma City Police officer. He picked the wrong lady to stop that night, 'I wanted to make sure this wouldn't happen again, no way, no how.' Ligons will sue the city for civil damages.

Victim Shardarion Hill said she went into survival mode with Holtzclaw and was forced into doing 'what the man with the badge and gun wanted'.

One woman testified in orange scrubs and handcuffs, because she had been jailed on drug charges hours before appearing in court, but the jury still convicted Holtzclaw of forcible oral sodomy in her case. That woman said he followed her into her bedroom and raped her, telling her, 'This is better than county jail.'

The youngest victim, a 17-year-old girl, was the last to testify. She said Holtzclaw picked her up as she walked home one night in June 2014, and then walked her to the porch, where he told her he had to search her. She said he grabbed her breasts, then pulled down her pink shorts and raped her. Her DNA was found on his uniform trousers. The jury convicted Holtzclaw of first-degree rape, second-degree rape and sexual battery in the girl's case.

The case was heard by an all-white jury. Oklahoma County District Attorney David Prater said he had sought a 'good cross-section of our community,' but defense attorneys had eliminated every potential black juror.

During trial the defense attacked the credibility of the women who testified against Holtzclaw, saying they were dishonest. He sought to use the criminal backgrounds of some of the victims to cast doubt on their testimony. He questioned several women at length about whether they were high at the time, and noted that most didn't come forward until investigators identified them

The strategy failed. Poetically, on his 29th birthday, Holtzclaw was found guilty of 18 of the 36 charges against him and faces 263 years behind bars. Defense attorney declined to comment...

It's NOT Entertainment Folks!

Good for Huffington Post for taking a stand regarding donald trump making a national buffoon of himself and international fools of the rest of us in his quest to suggest that he can actually preside over our country. I did not realize that they had stopped covering trump under the political section of their on-line news feed but had appropriately moved coverage of his “campaign” to the entertainment section. I get it…

Huff Post has now decided however that the buffoon is no longer even entertaining as he jeopardizes US national security with his latest over the top, factually void, hate filled venom now being spewed at the Muslim community over both domestic and international airwaves. Take him serious or not folks, to the rest of the world he is perceived as a viable American candidate for what many regard the “highest office in the land”, President of the United States of America, with impressive poll numbers no less that presumably speak to the mood of the country.

Like it or not, we, the sane American people, are perceived as supportive of or in agreement with the hurtful things this rich and otherwise previously impressive American presidential candidate says or does.  That we gasp in horror, shake our head in disbelief, raise our eyebrows and look wide eyed or side eyed at one another when he speaks, or that we cringe at the very sight of him on our television screen and silently wish that he would just go away goes unnoticed by the outside world. Our silence renders us to the outside world, indifferent or supportive of the havoc and chaos he is creating all around us. Our media’s incessant coverage of his antics in their insatiable pursuit of ratings, from news outlets to hosting Saturday Night Live, fuels this notion that we are supportive or indifferent. By association with trump, we are deemed guilty of his ignorance and hatred toward all people not White and not male, he has insulted all other groups and yet we seem to keep propping him up.  Accordingly we will not be spared when the stuff inevitably hits the fan!

Huffington Post President and Editor in Chief, Arianna Huffington, in her feminine wisdom and courage, has determined that trump’s spew is inciting and dangerous. Her news source has categorized his rhetoric taunting to buffoons of another sort, those extremists who discredit the Muslim religion with acts of terror and violence aimed at those they determine enemies for whatever reason that seems logical only to them. Their aim will not be solely exacted upon donald trump who by the way has around the clock security protection, but at the rest of us as well.  The Huff Post considers trump a threat to national security and rightfully so. They join in Dana Millbank’s assessment in the Washington Post, to call a spade a spade, wherein he declared trump a racist and a bigot! Entertaining however, he is not! 

Going forward, Huff Post reporting will include documented support of just how crazy, xenophobic, vile, racist, unintelligent and dangerous trump and his rhetoric are. Good for Huff Post! Now does mainstream media have the chutzpah to follow suit? This move represents a major a shift in American journalism. It is not the AP or whatever national body it is that combs the news and feeds us the same ole’ lines with the same ole’ slant, no matter the source. The internet has changed all that and now the public can decide for itself what is newsworthy, what version of the story we want to hear and how we want to hear it. We can demand fair, equal, uncensored, unfiltered, non-racist and unbiased reporting. This is long overdue…

Again, hats off to Huff Post! This is a good and responsible decision. I hope other news outlets will follow suit. Just stop giving him coverage…  Incredible that a man so rich in wealth and material goods can be so bankrupt in every other way. I hope Americans will boycott all things trump. I know I will…  

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." 

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speak On Mrs. Curry, Speak On!!!

It appears that some feathers have been ruffled by comments made by Ayesha Curry regarding how some women dress. Well, I don't find fault with what she said. It is her opinion and she has every right to express it. If women who choose to dress otherwise feel offended, they must probe that for themselves. She said nothing offensive and the way some women dress is tasteless, seemingly inspired by the shock factor to get attention and it should be examined by other women, not men, magazines or fashion companies for obvious reasons...

It is a conversation to be had between women and for the record, not only feminists speak for women and it is WRONG for them to try to shut down or discredit women who don't subscribe to their way of thinking, their dialogue, women who choose to walk a different path. Where was the voice of feminists when a magazine chose to discredit the value and achievements of women by naming Jenner Woman of the Year? Where is the feminist voice in support of the 13 women who are essentially on trial in Oklahoma for being raped by a cop? Where is the feminist voice when working Mothers are sent to prison for daring to achieve a better life and education for their children and send them to schools in better districts? Where is the feminist voice on matters that matter? Oops, I digress...

How crazy is it to accuse a woman who prefers to dress tastefully of "slut shaming" those who choose to dress provocatively? How crazy is that when the line has certainly been blurred? I often joke that the johns', and I imagine the cops too, must get confused sometimes on who is actually soliciting and how many of us have not looked side eyed at the woman in the office (and probably even church) who is actually dressed for the night club? Come on now Ladies since this is our conversation, let's at least be truthful with ourselves. Everyone has a right to dress how she wishes. Everyone has a right to express an opinion about it and we don't all have to agree. It's OK... IJS...

Good for Ayesha! Keep talkin' Girl!!

Happy Birthday Mommy...

Miss Higgi & Wendell Pierce

I tend to read a few books at a time. Presently, one of the books I am reading is authored by actor turned writer, Wendell Pierce, The Wind in the Reeds. He takes the reader on a journey exploring his life from youth to adulthood and pays homage to all the people and experiences that influenced and shaped the man and the phenomenal and socially conscious actor he is today. He passionately writes about his beloved community, Pontchartrain Park, a historically Black working and middle class community thriving in the lower ninth ward section of New Orleans. The book is filled with his love and commitment to preserve, protect and rebuild not only the physical structures post the devastation of Hurricane Katrina but also the integrity and legacy of the only "home" and community he knew, a home and community built by the hard work of his parents and so many others.

Pontchartrain Park, like 90% of New Orleans, was submerged under water on that fateful day in August 2005. Painful memories and disappointment in our government are forever seared in my mind following Hurricane Katrina. I am forever embittered that the US government stood by and essentially did nothing to save fellow citizens and that mainstream media accorded suffering Americans less respect than that given persons suffering similar catastrophes in foreign lands. The government ignored their suffering and the press actually demoted them to non-citizen status referring to them as "refugees" in their own land. It was a truly tragic event, another stain on the face of race relations in American history, Unforgettable, unforgivable and inexcusable.

Thankfully, Mr. Pierce happened to be in New Orleans on a day when his parents needed him most. Following his Mother's hunch to evacuate, he helped drive his Family to safety some 70 miles away. Their home was completely destroyed but not their spirit. The Family was displaced for 16 months while their new home gifted to them by their son was being re-built. He is a kind, loving and appreciative son. He writes that to give his parents a new home gave him great pleasure. This is a feel-good, uplifting and positive book about a Black Family and a Black community. I strongly recommend that you read it...

It is out of character for me to skip ahead in a book. Knowing the outcome spoils the reading. This was not that type of book however and I vowed that I would finish this reading over the holiday weekend. This morning I was halfway through, down to the last five chapters. After reading two chapters, for some odd reason, I skipped two and jumped ahead to read the final chapter. I knew from reading in a previous chapter that Mr. Pierce's Mother, who he affectionately called "Tee" was going to pass away somewhere during the course of reading this book. I was in no hurry to get to that part. He wrote so eloquently of his love, respect and admiration for his Mother that he literally made me fall in love with her too. I was saddened to know that eventually I would read of his loss. The chapter I jumped to was the final chapter of the book wherein he detailed his Mother's illness, her final moments, her final wishes and how ultimately he comes to terms with her passing. He loves her so as I do my Mom who ironically would have celebrated her 74th birthday today. So now I know what prompted me to skip ahead specifically to the last chapter...

As I read Mr. Pierce's very moving account of his emotions leading up and to following the loss of his Mother, I found myself between the pages of his last chapter vividly reliving my own story of pain and loss and my final moments with my own Mother. Quiet tears rolled down my cheeks as I experienced with him the uncompromising love he felt for his Mother and that I shared with my Mother. There was nothing he would not do for her at that moment or throughout her life. I can identify. My Mom was my world...

It has been 28 years since My Mother's passing. As always, she is heavy on my mind and love for her is permanently nestled in my heart. Of course she is especially in my thoughts today because it is her birthday. What would I give to hear her laughter, to make her smile, to show her the world, to shower her with gifts and reciprocate the love and sacrifices she made for me as a child? I love her so... Sadly, I also long for her presence especially today because she could help me to navigate yet another loss. I am still reeling from an act of hurt and betrayal so egregious toward me by one of her other children that I could use her maternal wisdom and comfort that might someday move me toward forgiveness. Some things only a Mother can do... I read this chapter and I am gratefully reminded of lessons learned and impressions held some 28 years ago, that I not only lost my Mother and best Friend but also my Family. She was it... Thankful that where the blood of family has failed me, the bonds of Family established by choice and through friendship have sustained me...  

Be good to your Moms folks, it may be the only unconditional and always reciprocated love you will know and read the book!

Thankful Always for a WONDERFUL Mother and I'm sure she can hear me when I say, 

Happy Birthday Mommy!  

I Miss & I Love You!!! 

Watching the news this morning. They are covering the tragic story of a NY police officer senselessly killed in the line of duty two nights ago. Sad and unnecessary indeed. What is interesting to me this morning is that the media is outing the judge who made a prior decision to sentence the defendant to a drug program instead of prison. They are showing the judge's photo and questioning his legal capacity. I find that quite interesting and wonder why they don’t do the same when judges, prosecutors, cops and others in the judicial system wrongfully convict innocent people or purposely hide, withhold or fabricate evidence that leads to incarceration or even death of innocent people... Why isn't the media just as diligent or committed to exposing bad players in the legal system when the lives of ordinary citizens are also tragically ended or disrupted? All lives do matter so why shame this judge and not others? Just Wonderin'...

Condolences to the officer's Family and all others who have lost loved ones or lifetimes in the pursuit of "justice" in America. Our system is terribly flawed...

Black on Black Crime By Blacks in Blue

Is anyone else bothered that the BLACK female officer involved in tasering a Black City Councilman is the same BLACK female officer involved in the Sandra Bland case? Black on Black crime by Blacks in Blue? I'm Just Askin'... She showed an absolute disregard and blatant disrespect for this Black man and his authority as an elected official. She readily confirms in the video when reminded, that she knows who he is. She responds, "Yeah, I know who he is", and proceeds to support a disturbing and baffling decision to taser him...

I will dare say that she would NEVER have responded similarly or even thought to exercise such faulty and disrespectful judgment if Mr. Miller was a White man of even modest authority, much less an elected city official to whom she inadvertently reports, to whom at least in some way she is held accountable and who conceivably holds the key to her continued employment. NEVER! Please correct me and direct to proof otherwise if I am wrong. Please...

So the burning question for me that we need ask ourselves is, "Do Black Lives Matter to Black People"? This and other types of our behavior suggests not. This officer does not stand alone in her blatant disregard and lack of respect for a Black man of authority. She felt in no way compelled to treat him with the level of dignity or respect she would afford his White counterparts and likely demand for herself as an officer of the law... 

Shame on her!!! Shame on us for not calling her out on it. I do not subscribe to calling for loss of anyone's livelihood but I say get rid of her! She is a bigger danger to the Black community than are her White peers who will use her behavior to justify their own bad acts toward the Black community which we know can be of far greater consequence than a Black city councilman being tasered. Yeah, I said it and I mean it. Be Gone with Her!!! What say ye'? Damn Shame!!!

Click here to see video and please weigh in...  

Do African Americans Abroad Experience White Privilege?,

Took this topic from an article by the same name. It is a good article, Do African Americans Abroad Experience White Privilege?, written by Ms. Malcolm Hughes (Click here for article)

Having had the pleasure to travel to six of the seven continents, having lived in both Spain and Ghana for extended periods of time and because I have enjoyed lengthy vacations in other countries, my cursory answer to the question is "yes" Black Americans DO enjoy a certain privilege when traveling abroad. While it is not applicable to all situations, for the most part it is true, it is freeing and being treated normal or held in some high[er] regard, acknowledged or not, can be addictive and is likely a motivating force for many Blacks to leave the US. My travels have led me to accept and appreciate that in most parts I go, be it in Africa and even in Europe, I have the passport that many others want. I dare say that my Black brethren from other countries who enjoy dual citizenship with the US and who possess two passports, given a choice, very often find it more convenient and less worrisome to travel on their American passport.

While in some circumstances Black Americans carry the burden of overcoming well dispersed and negative stereotypes conveniently conveyed about them throughout the world by White America, more often than not, we step on the foreign playing field, especially in lesser developed countries, with a certain level of unearned credibility, respect and advantages usually reserved for Whites internationally and automatically afforded Whites in America. It is a very different experience. Once however, most foreigners know that we are American, a whole new experience unfolds...

This is a good article to be considered by the Black Americans who travel internationally. Check it out. I think also worthy of discussion is how do we, Black Americans, handle ourselves and respond to being in a reverse situation, especially when in lesser developed countries? Do we take on the behaviors of those who oppress us in the US? Hmmm.... Just Askin'...

Again, this is a good read and can spark good discussion...

If Not Us Folks, Then Who? I'm Just Askin'...

Ms Phyllis Hyman!!! Listen to what she has to say. She is clear on her responsibility to support the community that made her. She calls out her peers and others who did not share her sense of obligation, calls two by name. Pay particular attention at minute mark 3:09. She poses the question we must all ask of ourselves. If not us, then who? IF you have "arrived" and you are not trying to help other Blacks along the way, please know that I have ZERO respect for you and your "success". Just KNOW that...

In the 90s I worked for a Black woman who was the ONLY Black female director for the major telecommunications company I worked for. Her ENTIRE management team which was quite expansive was lily white!!! The ONLY Black employee she ever hired was her secretary who would only last working for her long enough to find a new job in the company. She was horrible. At that time my manager, a fellow MBA and a White woman of course, decided to leave the company. She informed me that her replacement, my new supervisor, would be another White woman, who, get this, held a HIGH SCHOOL diploma and I was expected to train her, Now who thinks that really happened??? NOT!!!

Now don't kid yourself. This young lady not becoming my supervisor was not because of any objection or exercise of authority by the Black female director, an MBA herself, who theoretically was empowered to stop the cycle of such unfair and blatantly discriminatory abuses in the workplace against minority employees. One might ASSume that she too was appalled by the mere suggestion that a fellow Black woman with an MBA, should train and be supervised by a White woman with a high school diploma. Not at all. Instead, this Black woman from Chicago, defended the decision, which quite possibly was hers all along, and was all too eager to share with me what I could do to also be considered fabulous and perhaps get the next promotion... Yeah, she said that!!! As I did with my exiting supervisor, I concluded our meeting by informing her that I would be going over her head to see the Vice President, a White man. I did and the rest was history.

The job was given to a Guyanese woman whose skin was damn near as dark as mine but who would die if someone told her she was anything but White. Poor thing... Undoubtedly this was a strategic move to ward off a potential lawsuit if I decided to sue, which I did not. The Guyanese woman was ridiculous too. She knew of the controversy and of course she defended the nonsense. After a year or so, I left the company and guess who became her supervisor? Yeah, you guessed it! Ms High School Diploma herself!!! Being only concerned with self promotion and not the big picture serves no one well. Not to mention that thing about karma... To this day that high school graduate might hate me and that is OK. But what she did not do was supervise me... Just wasn't going to happen...

To the point at hand as being made by Ms Hyman in her video, shame on the Black director who during the course of my tenure NEVER promoted or hired a Black manager to be on her team and who would dare suggest that I should train and be supervised by someone of lesser professional and academic ilk... Still SMH on this one!!! Sadly, I have seen over the years that this woman has been honored by Black organizations for her achievements. Obviously we don't ask the right questions. It is because we are impressed with and have been conveniently distracted and pacified with gestures of individual success that we have not yet realized collective success and therefore continue to beg for standing as we tread the same tired waters.

So I say it again, IF you have "arrived" and have not made conscious efforts to reach back and help other Blacks, I have ZERO respect for you or your "success". I have protected this woman's identity ONLY because I have never had the conversation with her and have not seen or spoken with her since the late 90's. I am hopeful that the "Sistah" from Chicago, has seen the light and changed her ways...

If not us folks, then WHO? I'm Just 

Askin'...

Race Matters, Flying While Black or Brown...

Can someone tell me when did traveling to the Caribbean and/or Mexico stop being considered international travel?

* Does one not need a passport to travel to these locations?
* Do these destinations not have sovereign governments with laws of their own separate and apart from the US to which they can deny entrance to travelers at their own discretion?
* Does one not pass through customs to enter these countries?

So tell me HOW is that airlines in America have arbitrarily determined that travel to these locations is not "international" but instead "tourist" travel? Am I not a "tourist" when I travel to Miami, Las Vegas, Europe, Asia or Africa? Most air travelers travel for pleasure not business so what is the determining factor that distinguishes between international and tourist travel? I am confused, so please explain...

I am reminded that I was given the same BS explanation when it was required that I purchase a meal on my travel from Panama late last year. Now I am pretty damn certain that on both occasions, I was required to check in at the international terminal, was denied use of the self check in kiosk because I was NOT flying domestically but instead internationally and that the ticket agent would not allow me to proceed with check in until I showed her my valid passport. I'm pretty sure... So as a seasoned traveler, as before all other international flights, I have not eaten because in my confused mind, I am expecting that when I am travel to the Caribbean or Mexico, I am traveling internationally and will be fed on board. Silly me...

Customary benefits of international travel include free meals, free movies and if I am not mistaken, some variety of free adult beverages. Before the airlines realized they could gouge the consumer even further without bother from our government, it also included at least one "free bag". I could never understand why it was expected that I needed luggage and presumably a change of clothes to fly internationally but when traveling domestically I did not need luggage or had to pay for the convenience of luggage. They heard me and others so now we pay for ALL bags no matter our destination. Sorry, I digress...

The Black flight attendant on yesterday's flight is likely gagging inside as she is forced to explain her company's blatantly racist policy to a Black customer no less. She continues that because we are not "crossing the pond", our travel is not considered international. WTF? What damn pond?

Translation: "Look around you fool, this flight is filled to the rim with Black and Brown people. You are not going to Europe (across the pond) and you will not be enjoying the benefits afforded other international travelers. We want your money but owe you no respect and you in return, will endure this treatment, give us your money, keep traveling home to see your loved ones and we can count on you not to complain"...

I am appalled and deeply disturbed at even the suggestion that the industry might be openly practicing such blatant discrimination. in the interest of being open minded, I appreciate and welcome that there might be some other explanation for this policy other than traveling while Black or Brown. I am even more appalled however, that Black and Brown travelers have accepted this policy with no push back... So Somebody, Anybody, please share if you have another explanation for this blatantly different, seemingly discriminatory, practice by the airlines. I have tons of airline Friends, do chime in. This matter begs for further inquiry, so please explain.

I am listening and conclude with my favorite motto, We teach folks how to treat us...

I am in African braiding hair salon in Harlem. Goodbye Afro. The shop is shared with a Latin barber shop. Spanish music is playing in the background. The Muslim women kneel in separate corners in prayer. Other women are selling clothes, make up & food. A Brotha came in selling earrings, another toothpaste. LOL! An Asian woman came in trying to sell Black people bootleg DVDs. Go figure. A lot going on in here...

The African women are loud and spirited, as are Black American women when we gather. They are however, seemingly more animated. They laugh heartily, talk all at once and very loud. Their language is foreign. Their spirit is familiar...

Uh oh, a Black American Sistah is going off because her braids, which are BEAUTIFUL, don't "look like the picture". I understood that. LOL! My African Sistahs however are holding their own, defending their Sister and her intricate corn row work. It looks like art work. It really does. I want to defend her too but I dare not! Staying in my lane! LOL!

4.5 hours later and voila, I am done! The joint is quiet. Most have left. Two customers remain. The now pleased Black American woman and a young Latina woman who has never had braids before. Her scalp is killing her, she wonders how she will sleep tonight and tells me she has to be to work at Nordstrom Rack at 5am. Lord, she didn't say Nordstrom Rack? My weakness. I need not know that there is one here... I tell her sleep won't come easy tonight but assure her that she will be fine in a day or so...

Back into the Harlem streets. Wish I could find in this "city that never sleeps", somewhere to get a pedicure and eyebrow wax at 11pm. Not likely... I might walk home but as it is a little late, I'd better bus it...


Goodnight Folks!

"Plantations" & Such...

A Friend shared this great article with me about one woman's impression after touring a few southern plantations, Plantation Tours, Don't Expect to Hear How Horrible Slavery Really Was. The author, Demetria Lucas D'Oyley, did a nice job of summing up and sharing her experience after touring four plantations. At the time I read the article there were only six comments left by other readers. As was the article, each comment left was thoughtful and insightful, especially that of Victoria Pynchon, a self described White northern woman who would have been the stereotypical angry Black woman if her ancestry was not European.Comments from another reader reminded me that the word "plantation" was just a flowery, feel-good word created to describe what in fact were Slave labor camps, chambers of forced labor and horror, grounds that housed barbarity at levels no other has endured. Thank you Mr. Scaminaci! 

While I love exploring Black history and doing what I call, my regular treks to the south where I can feel the undeniable presence of my ancestors; their heritage, their courage, their strength, their endurance, their pride, heretofore, I have been unable to convince myself to tour a Slave labor camp. Not sure I am ready or equipped to deal with confronting that pain and unsure with whom I would prefer to take such a tour, White folks or Black? Which group would make it more palatable, less painful? 

I further rationalize that I have not taken these tours because (1) I find something inherently bothersome about paying to tour a place where my ancestors were tortured and forced to provide unpaid labor for 400 years. I think such toil and free labor should have paid any entrance fee that is now required of me, Ya' Think? Moreover, by participating in such a tour, am I helping to promote my own criticism of the insensitive treatment of the institution of slavery by some Americans who ignore or seem indifferent to the pain and suffering still associated with slavery by most Blacks in America? Americans whose ancestors profited and gained their wealth and stability on the backs of my enslaved ancestors now continue that legacy by expecting to earn a profit from the ancestors of those they enslaved. Something about that just doesn't sit well with me... Finally, what is a fair price for such a tour? My ancestors worked there for free, what price should I pay to tour what is essentially their burial grounds? Have they not paid the price for free pass or earned right to pass "go" if you will... I'm Just Askin'...    

And (2) my other reluctance to take these tours is because I am sure I would be overcome with emotions of grief, anger, hurt, pain, mourning, etc. These "plantations" represent for the US, the same symbolism and pain of the "doors of no return" associated with the holding pens of Blacks in West Africa prior to making the middle passage to ports unknown to be Slaves throughout the "civilized" world. As I feel the pain and presence of my ancestors when touring historic sites in the south, I know that my blood would rise with frustration as it did for the author and the White female commenter. I, too, would find it difficult to conceal my hurt and would likely not be able to refrain from challenging fables as told by the innocent tour guide employee who would undoubtedly give a watered down version of the atrocities of slavery and the fairy tale version of reality of life for the Slave... 

The cruelties and acts of inhumanity of slavery have been purposely distorted. It is foolery to believe that such an institution could have existed and been maintained without acts of unsurpassed cruelty and barbarism. White America wants to forget or distance themselves from the cruelties of their ancestors. Black Americans don't want to be reminded of the pain and dehumanization endured by our ancestors... As a result and unless Black folks start telling our own story, the good and the bad, we risk that the true story of what happened to us will always be distorted by the heirs of those who did the happenings or worse, cease being told. As a nation, we will never move on...  

Good for the Jews for always telling their story... No one will forget, distort or repeat what happened to them under the cover of not knowing.  I spoke of this during the radio program I participated in last week on Hot 97 in New York, Street Soldiers with Lisa Evers, where we discussed the unprecedented and celebrated decision to remove the defeated confederate flag from the state capitol grounds in South Carolina. 

Across the south, Slave labor camps have been turned into bed and breakfast inns, ignoring the continued pain of Black Americans, making light of the tragedies of slavery. Along with flying the defeated confederate flag, naming buildings, statutes, roads and such in honor of those who terrorized Blacks in America, this notion of "plantations" being turned into festive bed and breakfast inns is the height of American insensitivity as it pertains to slavery. NEVER in Germany will there be a time when frivolity is made of the pain suffered by the Jewish community. NEVER will we see concentration camps turned into places of festivity. The Jews and civilized Germany will never allow it... 

Also of note is that in South Africa, where apartheid ruled until less than 30 years ago, there has been a decision to rename street signs and such commemorating those who inflicted violence and terror on Blacks in that country. During my visit in 2013, I was impressed and received this gesture as a sign of the government at least trying to reckon with its past. I pondered then, America's reluctance to do the same. We have never had anything close to truth and reconciliation in this country. Because we have made minimal attempt to deal with our truth, again confirmation that racism is alive and well in America played out on an international stage for all the world to see, the tragic church shootings in Charleston, SC, June 17, 2015. Once again, as in the 1960's and 70's, America was forced to face her ugliest demon, racism, under an international spotlight, Flags started coming down...  Its a start. It is now up to us to keep the momentum going... 

Maybe, just maybe, it is time for me to suck it up and risk being the rabble rouser on one of those Slave labor camp tours. Pray that I don't get arrested... 

Can You Imagine?

Can you imagine that you give your children everything, not only material but love too. You work your ass off so they will never know hunger, will always have a roof overhead, clothes on their back, an education and all the necessities of life. You adore them! You raise them to know that there is nothing in life you would not do for them, even die for them... And then in your greatest time of need, when you need them to save your life, they are not there for you, physically or emotionally. They don't even bother to call on your birthday, on Mother's/Father's Day, not even on Christmas. They don't bring the grands by to see you? Tomorrow could be your last day and NOTHING!!! Can you imagine???


Folks often ask me what will I do when I get old and have no children to care for me. Are you kidding? I tell them that I'll be sitting in a nursing home right next to them! Only difference is, I won't be longingly spending my days endlessly watching the door desperately hoping that some child I raised will come to visit me... Instead, I will be gleefully flirting with the cute young attendant, who in my mind still finds me drop dead sexy. I will be rocking away in my chair watching TV or reminiscing about all the good times I had while my fellow residents sacrificed their dreams, their lives, their health to raise these children who have now deposited them in a nursing home never to come see them... I will be content and accepting of my lot in life. Sad but something has gone wrong! Terribly, terribly wrong?


Stop over indulging these kids folks and making them think that the world not only revolves around them but did not evolve until they were born. Stop calling little girls "princess", they take that shit literally. Stop buying their love with material things, leave them something to earn or to look forward to. Stop making excuses for their bad behavior because everything they do ain't cute. Just Stop it!!!


Start holding your children accountable and let them fail. Newsflash: There is no ninth place prize. Ninth place means you lost and that you should dust yourself off and try it again!!!


Where are we headed? These children are our future. How will the next generation treat their parents? What will their children do to or for them? Scary prospect to even consider... If you see yourself in this post, if you are neglecting your parents or over indulging your children misleading them to believe they walk on water, can do no wrong, that they are perfect little "angels" and that the mold was broken the day they were born, PLEASE STOP! JUST STOP!!! It is serving no one well, most of all you, not to mention them and future generations who are watching and learning from us...


I recommend that my Friends children watch the movie classic, Imitation of Life. If they watch til' the end, they will see what is to be their destiny. They will not be able to look to me for sympathy and understanding. In their time of need, as they have not been for their Father, I will not be there for them...


Can you imagine? I mean really can you imagine? Nor could my Friends. Do the right thing parents. Stop spoiling your children...

                            

Feeling ESPECIALLY disgusted with my Friends awful children this morning so I vent. Forgive me...

Miss Higgi on Cosby Fall Out...

So everyone has spoken on how they feel about the continuation of the Cosby saga and a few have even joked that those who did not jump on the bandwagon to crucify him are now as quiet as church mice. I can only speak for myself, so here it goes....

Am I happy about what we have heard so far revealed from the transcript of a SEALED deposition given by Mr. Cosby in his defense of one woman's accusation with whom most of us, including those currently demonizing him, knew something improper had taken place? Absolutely not...

Do I regret not jumping on the bandwagon to kick a man when he was down but instead giving him the benefit of doubt as I would aspire to afford, under unpleasant circumstances that may befall any one of us, most who criticized my decision not to condemn BC? Absolutely not...

Do I agree that he, his Wife and by extension, his Daughters should be villianized and excommunicated or that now we should forget that BC ever existed and remove/ban from society anything good he has ever done; take his shows off the air, remove statues in his honor, take his star off the walk of fame? Absolutely not....

Am I a woman who cannot think of an act more horrific than rape happening to me or any other woman and would want for it NEVER to happen to ANY woman under ANY circumstances? ABSO-FRIGGIN'-LUTELY!

Does my heart go out to true victims of rape by Mr. Cosby or any one else? ABSO-FRIGGIN'-LUTELY!!!

Do I think it proper that absent agreement of the defending party or avoidance of something truly catastrophic that will bring great harm to or that will preserve the overall well being or stability of the American public that a judge should break precedent and make a decision to unseal the contents of a legally protected document based on personal but not legal standing? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Mr. Cosby is not the first and certainly will not be the last person of objectionable character, questionable morals or of ill intent who will come before the justice system or be held out for public scrutiny. While the accusations being lodged against BC were horrific, they were not of significant relevance for this judge (Eduardo C. Robreno) to deviate from legal practice and to make this decision... If you disagree and think this is sound legal judgment then, as a Friend pointed out, I wish you (us) a safe landing and a careful slide down that which will prove to be a very slippery slope... I would think that very few lawyers nor anyone who understands or who has relied upon the legal assurances made when s/he agrees to settle a matter of court, is publicly applauding this decision. In addition to the benefit of saving the courts a backlog of cases, time and money, out of court settlements are encouraged and agreed to (1) to avoid records of any admission of guilt, public ridicule and to reduce or to avoid the potential of damaging effects of public ridicule or embarrassment to Family, Friends or a business entity and (2) to reduce one's liability, financial, personal and otherwise...

What I do know is that, ironically in the last two weeks before these latest revelations, in two different conversations, two young Black people both shared with me that their decision to attend college, particularly an HBCU, was inspired by the work of Mr. Cosby. What I do know, is that theirs are not isolated experiences of people who have been positively affected by the works of Dr. Cosby.

So yes, let's be disappointed in, disgusted with, feel anger and hurt, betrayed or misled by Mr. Cosby but join in his public crucifixion? STILL, I say, absolutely not.... No thank you. I am not interested. Instead I will lift my voice to say that I hope BC receives much needed psychological help. I will lift my voice to say that I am happy that those women who felt victimized can now feel vindication. I will lift my voice to say that I hope that his Wife and his lovely Daughters will be alright...  I will lift my voice to say that I hope relatives, friends and other supporters can weather this storm with him as they have weathered or enjoyed sun shiny days with or because of him....  Who needs ya' if you can't be there for them during their most difficult of times? I can't imagine there being a more difficult time for Mr. Cosby than now and I am certain that his troubles are far from over...  I wish him well and I encourage that we be balanced and fair and that we apply the same level of intense outrage and indignation extended Mr. Cosby to matters of dire concern affecting our society. I encourage that we all be reminded of that old adage about people who live in glass houses... And you know the rest...

Take Down That Flag...

Unlike South Africa, America has never had a day of reckoning, if you will. We have never had anything close to resembling a Truth & Reconciliation Commission or anything of the like. Perhaps, just perhaps, the good that will come from those peaceful, devoutly Christian and incredibly forgiving Black folks in Charleston, SC will be that America might come to terms with some of the lingering effects of her tainted past. Perhaps these mourning Families have paved a way to allow that some of America's wounds that cause such discomfort and conjure such painful memories for so many will begin to heal...  

Not only is there finally serious talk about bringing down the divisive and defeated confederate flag, retail outlets like Walmart & Amazon will stop selling products displaying the flag, also there is talk of changing names on street signs, buildings and the like that suggest honor to those who served to terrorize Black Americans and others in the name of defending the south. This is good. If you recall when I was in South Africa in 2013 I wrote about that country doing the exact same thing, In Pretoria they were changing names on street signs that celebrated persons who terrorized Blacks or who held prominent public office during apartheid. I applauded those efforts and questioned when America would examine herself through a similar lens.

While I believe in my heart that partly this drive to "take down that flag" is motivated by some who desire to deflect from calls for gun control in America after yet another horrific act of senseless killing, I think also that the strong faith and willingness of Black victims to forgive a young, clearly deranged, admittedly racist and unquestionably diabolical White man so soon after his commission of the most horrific of acts, compelled others to step forward and meet them in their place of integrity and serenity and offer up the defeated confederate flag to help soothe the pain in the hearts of the Families and as an offer of peace to the community and the nation. It is history repeating itself.

Much like the international broadcasting of horrific acts committed against peaceful Blacks in the 1960's, including a church bombing, prompted a national response and raised the consciousness of America to rectify the atrocities of the south, again we find ourselves in the same predicament. Too much is happening and being broadcast around the world about race relations in America for us to continue to ignore the elephant in the room who is trampling us while we try to pretend he does not exist. Everywhere I go folks assume, for a variety of reasons but mostly because of effective marketing of a false image, that racism no longer exists in America. There is an assumption that America is the face of democracy, equal opportunity for all and certainly that she has dealt with and resolved her past... But here we are again, more than 50 years later, being prompted again, maybe shamed, by the power of the media exposing in full color for all to see, the truth of our dirty little secret, that racism and hate for some is alive and well in the good ole' US of A. Again, the world sees Black southerners respond to the worst of mankind with incredible bravery, peacefulness, resilience, dignity, honor and valor. It appears again too that America is prepared to take steps to respond in kind. This is a good thing...  

Finally, 150 years later, it might become unpopular and unacceptable to fly the confederate flag.
Finally, mainstream America is willing to be critical and not just sit back and say "it is not my problem" while ignoring the symbolism, fear and pain conjured up for so many by the mere sight of the defeated confederate flag...
Finally, America just might start reckoning. It's about time..

Emanuel AME, thank you for your strong and abiding faith incredible to many, and thank you Charleston and others for following their lead. There is hope for a changing of times...

Now let's shut down the plantations that have been turned into bed & breakfast inns. That too is symbolic of incredible insensitivity. I'm Just Sayin'... A blog for another time...    

Feeling Bobbi Kristina's Pain...

I look at Bobbi Kristina and think of myself. My Mother was my world and we were very close when I lost her at the tender age of 26. Folks thought I was going to lose my mind, especially her Friends who also feared I would starve to death. Didn't cook or do laundry then, Don't cook and can barely do laundry now... (smile) SOMEBODY brought me dinner almost every night for weeks. I think partly to feed me, partly to see how I was doing. Thank you Village...

I knew I would be alright and I am pretty sure my Mom did too. Reminding myself to live in such a way that would make her proud, sustained and kept me going... My advice to those who still have parents is to treasure and do right by parents who treasured, sacrificed and did right by you. When they pass, you will only miss them. You will not suffer from regrets and guilt about what you coulda', shoulda' said or done... Make sure they know that you love them while they are here. You will find comfort in your selfless deeds and acts/expressions of love when they are gone. Trust me, to look back and know that your parent will say, "job well done son/daughter", will make a world of difference and console you greatly in your time of grief.

However, I do understand the overwhelming void Bobbi Kristina must feel. Immediately after the loss of my Mother is the ONLY time in life I was sure I wanted a child. Thankfully, I realized very quickly that it was not a child that I wanted as much as I wanted to have my Mother back. I wanted to replace the relationship. While I am sure motherhood is rewarding in its own right, I came to understand and appreciate that there is no replacing a Mother's love and I have never regretted not having children. Lesson: Don't make life decisions in the face of pain and uncertainty...

Bobbi Kristina was much younger and less rooted than I was when we lost our Mothers, 18 as compared to 26. I remember often thinking of a family in our neighborhood where the children had lost both of their parents at such a young age that the baby child called his big Sister, who was no older than me, "Mommy", which became her nickname. I thought of them and how little time they had to spend with their parents to console and give me strength in those times when I was feeling especially sorry for myself. It's all relative however when we are dealing with our own grief and pain. We all cope in different ways and we should never let others tell us how or how long to grieve or how to deal with our pain and NEVER let them tell you not to talk about your loved one. That person was a very intricate part of your life, of course you should talk about them and do whatever you can to keep their memory and love alive in your soul, in your mind, in your heart... Grief is a very personal state of mind. It is one of those times in life when we have license to self diagnose and counsel ourselves through what can be the greatest pain we will ever know. You can only do it your way and in your time... Family and True Friends will respect and support that...

Perhaps Bobbi Kristina did not have [or open up to] the village around her to make sure she was nourished, both mentally and physically. Perhaps she was not quite ready to grasp the concept that in time, things would get better, her pain would lighten and she would adjust. Perhaps she was just too young and too inexperienced in life...  Who knows? I just know that I feel her pain and hope that by the grace of God, she pulls through. Prayers...

First Lady Sets Another Trend...

Remember early on when the First Lady upset the tea kettle by showing her arms in February? Oh My!!! How incensed they were. Well, true to form seems the First Lady set a trend. Has anyone noticed all the bare arms on TV no matter the season? What does strike me as odd however, is the weather lady clad in summer attire, sleeveless dress, summer sandals and all, while reporting on subzero temperatures and cutting away to another reporter who is outside the studio dressed like an Eskimo! Now that's comical!!!  

Here is what the original haters had to say about the First Lady being sleeveless in Feb 2009: "'Does the lady not understand that these Big Speech Events are serious and important? Not a cocktail party?'" wrote one Chicago Tribune reader. "''The season is winter. The occasion is business. Dress was wrong place and time.'"

And Glamour magazine editor wrote;  “Oh my god,” Cindi Leive, the editor of Glamour magazine, exclaimed while watching the address, she said via email. “The First Lady has bare arms in Congress, in February, at night!”

The blogger who shared this story also pondered; "In a few years, will she still look as confident as she did last night, or will she reach for cover?" I'd say given the recent clamor about her fashion statement in Saudi Arabia and all that she has endured with her head STILL held high, YEAH she's as confident now as she was in 2009! Love The First Lady!!! But still I don't get the weather lady! LOL!!!