Shattered Mugs

Having visions of cups and dreams shattering in my head this morning... 

My keepsake from traveling is to collect coffee mugs with the names of the places I've visited. I love my mugs. They provide my occasional trip down Memory Lane. I moved over the weekend so I've got some work to do and I'se tired y'all!!!


Last night I picked up a box packed with my travel mugs and the bottom fell out. All I heard was the clinking of mugs crashing on one another. My heart sank...


International Mugs:
Egypt
Argentina
Australia
Brazil
Belize
Montreal
Niagara Falls
Santo Domingo, DR
Costa Rica


Domestic Mugs:
Colorado
Chicago
Florida
Vegas
New York
Atlantic City - LOL!
Carolina Beach - Where is that? I had to look it up. LOL! Sorry NC! I had a really pretty mug. I am sure I had a GREAT time!


Museum or Keepsake Mugs:
Frederick Douglas
Hallmark Maya Angelou
Howard University
US Capitol - Obama Inauguration


Some I am sure I am not recalling. Devastating...


To wake this morning to a text of what surely will become a reality, that airplane travel will be denied those who refuse the COVID vaccine deeply disturbs my dreams. Travel is what I do. I have said all along that such would become the case.


I predict no travel, no health insurance, no employment, no enrollment in school and God knows what else for non-compliant people. We are going to be bullied or shepherded like cattle to get this shot trusting the government or not...


Long before trump we were conditioned to not trust this type of move. History has certainly trained Black America not to trust... Last night I watched a Mike Wallace 60 Minutes interview from the 70s that someone shared with me of Americans being scared by the government to take the swine flu shot because of one death and few reported others who recovered at Fort Dix military base ironically here in NJ. Americans sued like hell when many were left with neurological and physical disorders. Google it.


US government officials looked like fools lying that they did not know of the potential harms to the public. Only one doctor admitted that they did know of the harms because he had warned them. I wonder what became of him. The original 60 Minutes was investigative journalism at its best! In so many ways history is repeating itself and we are not listening. This time however vaccines will not be voluntary and we will have no legal remedies. Big Brother paying attention to and relying on history to take care of Big Brother...


I am not feeling good about this at all and am quite disturbed that my opinion and decision about what to do to or with my body is being denied me. What happened to pro-choice? Does it stop at abortion? Hmmm.... It is disturbing that folks who speak against or question the vaccine are being silenced, ridiculed or attacked. I am disturbed by all the people who say they "can't wait" to take the vaccination without question seemingly out of fear or desperation. Yes be excited and anxious about the possibility of ending the nightmare but to not question, be concerned or to just fall in line like good desperate sheep is disconcerting...


Like it or not, we are mere pawns in vicious game caught up in a capitalistic quandary. We are slammed with so much information, we don't know who to believe or trust. As we know, money is the root of all evil. Lots of folks stand to make tons of money on this forced injection project. Money over safety and welfare is how capitalism works... Big Brother is driving this train with no brakes and no intention of slowing down for even the most dangerous curves, much less stopping.


Our rights are eroding and we are not questioning because we are so tired (of trump and the madness that has accompanied him for four years) and so terribly scared and afraid of COVID, we are eagerly endorsing it. Government and Big Business is loving our obedience. If this is a test, we will fail miserably. Once this stitch is sewn, they will push this needle through different fabrics of our society against our will. We will have given them the thread (permission). Sigh...


I think of the lost lives and I am deeply saddened that during the worse possible crisis, America accepted the most incredibly incompetent and heartless "leadership" imaginable. How many have died needlessly? How many will be forced to vaccinate against our will? How does one not care that more than 1/4 million are dead. I would care even if white supremacists were dying, and they will. Really I would...


I hope the Biden administration staggers these shots allowing folks like me who are uncomfortable time to ask questions, sit back and observe the affects on non-affects on others, allow us to make informed decisions before forcing us to vaccinate. That is the least that they can do. Although it will kill me, if mandated, I will forgo travel until I feel comfortable that the vaccine is safe. This is the adult version of the still unsettled mandatory childhood vaccination debate. I hear them. Our government is pushing the envelope...


Someone pointed out that China seems to have controlled their pandemic absent a vaccine. A good friend pointed out that we must trust science and that research for this vaccine started not in 2020 but many years ago with SARS. She works in the medical field and plans to be among the first in line. She is disheartened that, as planned, the public is questioning science...


Thank You God for allowing me to travel and see so many wonderful places, meet so many amazing people and have so many unforgettable experiences. Memories are forever and what pleasant dreams are made of. They cannot be shattered when the bottom falls out, be it a box, the world, or our freedom and rights as we know them. I am forever thankful for my pre-COVID experiences. I don't see that travel in my lifetime, will ever be the same and like my mugs, that breaks my heart...

I Will ALWAYS Love My Mama...

Today my Mother would have been 79. She died at the tender age of 45. Already I have outlived her by 15 years. Forever she will be young in my mind...

I wonder what she would look like at 79. Her Mom was prematurely gray. She wanted salt and pepper hair so bad. It didn't happen... I am 60 and have never dyed my hair. The gray matter is just showing up in my hair and seemingly in my brain. Some days, I swear! LOL!!!.. 

How cool would she be? How cool would I be? I was her "ride or die" and she knew that...

She used to call me "Lita". Her favorite pastime was bragging about her children. Would she be proud of her Lita? Would I have fulfilled my dream to fill her life with joy and all the material things she sacrificed in her own life raising her five babies? Every year I showered her with tokens of my love for her birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day and of course Christmas. Her friends would eagerly ask, "what did Helen give you this year"? I loved giving her more bragging rights. I lived to make her happy. Now I live...

Would she be in good health? My health is giving me challenges I never expected at 60. WTF??? I watch so many friends struggle with decisions about what to do, where to live, how to manage care and residence for parents aging or with ailing health and I don't envy the very difficult decisions that come with inevitable parent/child role reversal. I do my best to support and cheer them on from my own frame of reference. I would rather not be the "expert". Sigh...

Recently, I advised a friend who was feeling pressured by doctors to take her 97 year old Mom off a ventilator to ignore the daily badgering from doctors who did not value her Mom's life as does she. I told my friend to ask her Mom what she wanted to do. I told her to have her Mom squeeze her finger, blink her eye but in some way to signal her desire. I told my friend to be frank with her Mother, tell her the options as being presented and let her decide. Speaking from experience, I knew it would ease my friend's burden knowing she had honored her Mother's wishes, no matter the outcome. Her Mom signaled that she wanted to live. The doctors said she might last 8 hours breathing on her own. It has been a matter of weeks. She is off the ventilator and holding her own. My friend is at ease...

I was 26 when Mommy died. We had to make the same decision. The cancer was winning despite her courage, determination and fighting spirit. She still had life and hope, as did we. We were all hoping for a miracle and then some crappy doctor punctured her lung while inserting a portacath. I still remember his name, "Jesus", except he wasn't... 

She ended up on a ventilator and we too were put in the situation of what to do. Although she had always said not to resuscitate her, when it came time to make that decision, I still remember the relief of not being burdened to make the final decision regarding her life. She was able to tell us what she wanted in terms of resuscitation. She was only 45 with two new grandchildren who she adored. She was still young. Life was good. Of course she wanted to live...

Would she have overcome her fear of flying and traveled the world with me? I think so... 

I will never forget her dropping me at JFK to travel for a semester abroad in Spain. She was fearful of my flying and my free spirit I suppose. She never thought I would get on that plane traveling so far away from her and the comfort of the nest she had created. I was 21 and had never flown before. Valencia, Spain was my first flight. I cried like a baby before getting on that plane. I literally had a temper tantrum of proportions on par with any five year old. Still I am embarrassed...

Mommy had gone to park the car and the mean ole' flight attendants made me get on the plane without seeing her to say good-bye. I was beside myself... Still I got on that plane in 1982 and I have been traveling ever since; six of the seven continents. Life has been rewarding... Mommy had written me a long letter to read on the plane, just in case I overcame her fear and got on. She mailed it to me later in Valencia. In it, she told me how proud she was of me. I still have the letter. Five months later, I came home early in May and surprised her for Mother's Day. Thank God I did. I had only four more Mother's Days to give her joy...

If I heard her voice, would I recognize it? Please keep recordings of your loved ones voice. 33 years later and still I want to see her, hold her, tell her how much I love and admire her (which I did not say often enough), thank her for life but oh to hear her voice...

Every year on her birthday, I hear Eric Clapton singing Tears from Heaven in my head. It is a sad song he wrote about the death of his 5 year old young son. I cannot imagine his heartbreak. They say the hardest deaths are that of a Mother or a child. I believe it...

Click here to enjoy the lyrics and the softness of his voice, the gentle melody, the peacefulness of the song . All of it, it just soothes me... The lyrics and the audio are posted below.

After raising 5 kids she was just beginning to live when she died. It was her turn. Life can be so damn cruel. Live People Live!!!

Happy "Would Be 79th" Birthday Mommy!!! Lita STILL LOVES you more than you will ever know...

Tears From Heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would it be the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way through night and day

'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees

Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

Beyond the door, there's peace, I'm sure

And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you be the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Celebrating Stacey; The "Angry" Black Woman and The Power of One

I read an excellent article this morning, Trump's Accusations of Fraud in Georgia Echo Decades of Racial Violence, Georgia's Black Voters are Carrying on the Fight Their Parents and Grandparents Started.  The opinion piece thoughtfully reviews the historical context of suppression of the Black vote in Georgia specifically but illustrative of how the Black vote was suppressed throughout the south generally and across the nation, albeit more subtlety.

Kudos to Stacey Abrams for avenging in a big way, that which was done to her but more importantly, to our Ancestors who dared to exercise their right to vote. Their blood permeates the red stained soil in Georgia as they were terrorized and murdered for daring to live, act or think themselves full citizens of the US. Is that not ultimately what the exercise of voting really says? 

Still not sure why many Black folks are conflicted or flat out reject citing a pledge of allegiance that does not speak to, for or about us (read it) or saluting a flag that rejects us? 

Still not sure why Colin Kaepernick took a knee and the Black community kneeled with him? 

Still not sure why Black Lives Matter? 

Still not comprehending or appreciating the might of the Black woman and/or the might of the sword  she wields? She bites when provoked. Oh yes she does. Rile her angst at your peril...

Still thinking your Black vote does not count? Think again. Oh yes it does. Our work is not complete. Get to the polls in January in Georgia and all polls beyond...

Protect our Sistah' Stacey. Our Ancestors are rejoicing with us  that she has avenged their dignity and the continued attack on their/our humanity. She restored faith in the power of We the People. That alone is monumental. Black glee, Black pride, Black self determination, Black independence still has a way of scaring the crap out of those who it does not just make damn mad. Protect our Sistah' and those whose spirit she has awakened and joined in unity...

I predict that Ms. Abrams, who has taken and earned her place in history, will be Time Magazine's Person of the Year. If all is fair, OK give me this moment, how could she not be? She is the face of will, determination, resilience and the almighty power of one! 

Call her an "Angry Black Woman". We will own it! If her "anger" fueled the best example of advocacy for civil, social and legal justice for all we have seen since the 1960s, then, may the spirit of Angry Black Women RISE and spread like an underestimated, uncontrolled and largely ignored contagious virus. May her spirit sweep across our nation and around the globe with unapologetic and reckless abandonment. What was it that Ms. Angelou said about us? Phenomenal we are! Believe It!

Miss Higgi Says:

I Love me some Us!

I Love me some Stacey!

Six Years Ago Today...

Upon waking on many mornings, I write. All too often I am writing on FB when in fact I should be writing on this blog or better yet, that book I have known is in me for many years now... 

Daily, FB shares its members, memories from the same day on years gone by. Ironically, what I wrote on this day six years ago is so fitting right now. Check it out...

Helen Higginbotham
November 14, 2014 ·

I had breakfast with an American ex-pat this morning who wants never to live in the US again. She even wants another passport with which she can travel feeling free of disdain so many nations have for America... An older White woman speaking here... Now that's saying something. We might not want to hear it, but it is definitely saying something...


I can't say I am there but living in other places certainly allows one to see just how much can be/needs to be improved in the US. Stop drinking the Koolade, we are not the best...

I am mostly disheartened by the broken American spirit. Not sure what happened, OK not sure HOW it happened, HOW we ALLOWED it to happen... We are moving backward as a nation and seemingly have no will to stop it... That is scary.

When Americans lost their homes, their savings, their pensions, got ripped off by the banks with mortgage schemes, professionals became homeless or working for minimum or lesser wages or were forced to work longer than planned all while bailing out big banks, restrictive laws were passed and corporate execs got richer and we did NOTHING.... That spoke volumes to me. Deeply disturbed that if those occurrences did not make us mad as hell and determined not to take it anymore, I am not sure what will... We feel powerless and our spirit is broken. Damaged people, produce a damaged government, produce damaged future generations...

Forgive the rant. Just what I am feeling this morning after spending most of the last year outside the US.... The US is in trouble and too deluded and egotistical to acknowledge it. Wake Up People, Wake Up!!!

Weekend Binge Watch - Trial 4

Is anyone watching this documentary on Netflix, Trial 4? It is Central Park 5 all over again in Boston 1993. Cold blooded, "win by any means" female prosecutor, phyllis broker, who went on to become and retire as a judge, dirty disgusting and crooked POS cops and get this, a Black DA, Ralph Martin, who allowed that an innocent and nice young man of 19, Sean Ellis, with absolutely no criminal record was railroaded to life in prison without the possibility of parole. From the footage, the judge looks Black too. SMH... It took three trials to convict him. The irregularities and blatant disregard for the law, especially by the cops, are astounding...


Parties identified for some of the most egregious acts refused comment for the documentary. Why can't people just stand in their dirt? Clearly they have ZERO conscience. Do they expect that if ever their deeds are discovered they will be long dead? Despicable people!!!


In this instance, what seems like a dirty cop known for questionable "policing" was shot while sleeping in his car while moonlighting as security at a 24-hour Walgreen. He had ruined so many lives that they didn't know where to start looking for who might have had incentive to kill him execution style. He died the way he policed, inhumanely and unjustly... No matter how dirty, he should not have died that way. His uniform was blue so in death somehow, he is to be revered a "nice guy" and a "dedicated officer". Because of the latter, someone had to pay. ANYbody! ANY Black body!!! SMH...


I am half through but its another Exonerated 5, When They See Us. Only God knows how many young Black men have been falsely accused, prosecuted and imprisoned? All so that someone, cops and sadly, prosecutors as well, can live a full and prosperous life not losing one moments sleep for all the innocent lives and families they have ruined. The lengths to which his peers and others go to avenge the death, discount the deeds and to paint a better picture of what sounds like a very, very bad cop is shameful and truly indicative of what is so very wrong with policing in America and why it is necessary to never back away from nor stop reminding America that BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!


Check it out!

Here is the trailer:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=Q_X_WqC75Yc

I'm Just Tired...

I can dig it!

I'm just tired, mentally and emotionally that is... My soul, my spirit, my being, I feel trapped... For those who know me, this comes as no surprise...

My escapism when all is not well in my world or sometimes to simply refuel for no particular reason, is to take flight. No cure like getting on a plane and waking up in some place new. No cure like it all! My motto is "Some people do drugs, I do airplanes". I NEED an airplane BAAAD y'all...


Of course a good solo road trip with some good ole' Old Skool' music, lots of sunshine, plenty of highway miles before me, meeting good people along the way brings me great joy too. For fear of COVID laced hotel rooms, I have not done that either. 2020 has been a wash!

2020 was supposed to be a year filled with lots of joy and new beginnings. Even the sound of "2020" has a joyous ring. Lots of folks had grand ideas and plans for the start of the new decade. Hats off to those who had the fortitude to make lemonade and get shit done. I seriously applaud you!

2020 was a milestone year for me. I had planned a glorious trip back to Bahia, Brazil for a beach party with friends to celebrate me! Didn't happen. 2025? Ah, we'll see... 2020 was not a total wash. At least we got that idiot out of the white house... Thank you smart Americans!!!

It has been ONE year since last I took flight. Last November I went to Nairobi, Kenya. Had I known I was going to get stuck stateside, I would have remained abroad. Not necessarily in Kenya but certainly some place else...

I had thought I would try to get a quick fix by taking a short jaunt for Christmas but with COVID on the rise and greedy airlines packing flights again, I don't see that happening. I am moving into a more spacious and lots of windows and natural light! Thank You Lord! I suppose that in the meantime, at least for the temporary, my new digs will be my newness, my means of escape where my soul will find peace and contentment, my mind will find rest and I won't feel so tired. I'm claiming it...

It's raining. So no walk today...

And that is Miss Higgi's Thursday morning rant! Make it a good day!!!

Just Ranting...

This is it! America gets to see/show what she is made of. trump clearly has no intention of exiting the white house, peacefully or otherwise. He and the republicans have set the stage, stacked the courts and incited just enough angry crazed wannabe' proud boys to set off some real shit. Police unions nationwide overwhelmingly endorsed him and are likely on his team, putin and other evil enemies support him in his destruction of America, of course they do! and now your royal asshole has fired the head of Defense because he had the balls to tell him no... How soon before the war staged for distraction begins? The wall around the white house (which is actually being reinforced now because it went up some time ago, right after 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue became BLM Plaza, but was not properly reported) is set, a fortress is made, the bunker is stocked, amy is in place along with 200 others who now call themselves "judge". The players in place, backbones broken and the stage has been set. It will take the military to get him out but I am told that the military is hands off in domestic affairs.


On this day we celebrate our veterans, I pray that our retired and revered military brass have joined forces with key active military officials behind the scenes and are plotting how to save America... A true coup indeed... I really do. We need some real life Hollywood, Ninja action shit right about now...


Of course trump, mcconnell, guiliani, pompeo and a host of others, will be no where near danger if/when some shit goes off. The ignoramuses they have incited will risk their lives and safety to preserve life, liberty and prosperity for those making $400K and far more and who could give a damn about them. It's quite fascinating. "Almost", said jim jones...


America has tolerated trump. The media created and profited from trump, quiet as its kept, they will miss him. Twitter GAVE him a platform to harass, embarrass and terrorize a nation. The republicans have totally succumbed to trump. Racism and white supremacy fueled and empowered him. comey, oh, let us never forget comey, ignited and gave license and life to trump.. I will never forgive comey... So tell me gain, WHY are we planning to reach across the aisle?


Since Obama, America justified, rationalized, watered down, downplayed, ignored, was entertained by and called a lot of "its" and "isms" by other names... The press, history scholars and others refused to call a coup a coup and ONLY Judge Emmitt Sullivan, a Black judge, dared utter the word "treason"... blatant hate, incredible ignorance, racism, xenophobia, misogyny, disrespect to our veterans, discrediting of our intelligence, making a mockery out of the medical and legal systems (how many more will sacrifice themselves, their careers, their integrity, their professions for a masterful con man?), to hell with order or the rule of law... Drain the swamp? He IS the damn swamp! And NOW we wonder why more than 70M voted for more of him? Really? He sees their votes as a mandate that previously existed in his mind only... It did not matter that he was not a legitimate elect in 2016. It makes zero difference to him that he is not legit' now. Get ready for some more electoral college BS!!! Here we go! He intends to stay. What will America do?


This "man" has broken every rule, crossed every line and kicked through every supposedly sacred or protected barrier imaginable. Words like dignity, integrity and morality escape the very limited scope of his elementary dictionary. Educated and so called "cultured" people support him for talking and looking tough. Seriously? He is 6th grade school yard bully til' he gets his ass kicked tough. Let's kick his ass America! He is so tough that he evaded the military and thinks those who did not are "suckers and losers". Rise up "suckers and losers". Make him call you Daddy! He has probably never been in a physical fight in his life.


As his "tough guy" persona is at the level, tactics and vocabulary, of a 6th grade school yard punk, I get his attraction to redneck yahoos', ignorant rappers and zero esteem women, but rich white guys (some sadly Black, Latino and Jewish - SMH), who like or are inspired by him have some deep seated other shit going on. Now that's a WOW for the books on so many levels...


In their zest to promote, preserve and protect eternal whiteness at the expense of all others, the ingeniously racist, slave holding founding "fathers", failed to account for crazy, hitler type white boyz' rising to power. Still think it the "greatest document ever written"? They knew that they had fed a society and created a system generated by hate and imagined superiority that would never tolerate insurrection by any others, to include white women who also support the racism and sexism of trump (SMH), but seemingly failed to protect their precious nation from a crazed white guy like trump. Or did they? Is trump not attempting to return the US back to the nation they "founded"?, one of bigotry, where white male dominance, a wealthy few and free labor ruled the day? White women sat on pedestals, they were disrespected and thought only one step above the lowly enslaved but happy to be perched on that pedestal. Perhaps that explains her vote for trump. They too want to make their America great again. Hmmm.... Maybe the founding dudes were brilliant after all. None of this would have been tolerated by non-white or non-men. Those who support trump, would have been stopped long ago. Never would it have gotten to this level. Never would they have been allowed to dismantle that which we call democracy, embarrass us at home and abroad, risk our sovereignty and safety, jeopardize our very basic freedoms... ¡Nunca!


I am really just ranting this morning. Forgive me. If I were a painter this would simply be a messy canvas upon which colors of no logic or order were strewn. Some would call it a masterpiece and others would look at it in WTF wonderment. LOL!!! Call this messy painting my thoughts...


I think I'll go take a walk by the river or across the bridge, I haven't done that in a while... Good Morning and Happy Veterans Day folks!!! I truly hope that our good veterans and others are somewhere plotting and will rise up to save the day, to save the nation as they have other nations. Be super heroes in your own land. Show us the style of greatness America has so successfully marketed herself to be as she involved herself in the affairs of others. Involve yourself in your own affairs and fix this shit! Show trump and his band of evil "yes" men just who is in charge...


We shall see what America is really made of. America needs to get mad as she did post 9-11 or that day will be a picnic compared to what these evil "AMERICAN" and so called "patriotic" bastards intend to do to America, to include you idiots who support him. SMH...


OK, Miss Higgi's morning rant is complete!

Don't Be Bamboozled...

He feigned toughness, touted superiority, racially and genetically, and said or suggested that only the weak get COVID, #trumpvirus. Never has he owned a frailty or an imperfection no matter how blatant or obvious. But now all of a sudden trump is a truth teller shouting and claiming to the world to be imperfect?, to have what he clearly regards shortcomings? Miss me with that BS! That is inconsistent with the subhuman he has presented himself to be in recent or past history. 

His bold and strategically timed pronouncement of having the virus, requiring that his lips are moving, thereby suggests that he is doing that which he does best, LYING and that he does not have #trumpvirus... The trump we know would conceal infirmity and deny poor health even if visibly ill because like his father, as described in Mary Trump's book, he sees illness as a sign of weakness and this coward wants us to believe him "strong" and "superior". He would never tell and would threaten to sue anyone who did tell. That's the trump we know...

trump has shown and told us who he is. We have believed, been angered, distracted, exhausted and embarrassed by him. Now all of sudden we see him differently? We have compassion for this despicable deplorable ice hearted con man and now we believe his lies? Speak for yourself. I do not! 

Come on people! While in math negatives may derive a positive, in this case, it does not compute! Stop trying to derive positive results or interpretations from the consistently negative data trump has fed us for more than four years now.  He is the same liar and cheating scoundrel he has always presented himself to be. This current lie is a desperate act intended to keep him and his klan' tucked away in the bunker (the white house), safe from legal harms that await "civilian trumps". 

#itsahoax!

#itsadistraction

His being ill is a hoax  intended to buy time until such time to drop the next bombshell lie intended to advance his personal agenda and save his disgusting ass while forsaking sovereignty and civility of the nation. This lie is intended to keep the media and the Dems distracted during these last days before this most critical election, keep them from speaking ill of him and/or discussing:

his tax evasion, 

his support of white supremacy and a race war, 

his niece's book and her $10M lawsuit against him,

Bob Woodward's book, Cohen's book and a slew of other books telling the truth of him,

his sister's comments about his lack of intelligence, integrity, compassion and humanity, 

REAL victims of #trumpvirus and his failure and inability to contain it or care that  200,000+ and counting Americans are DEAD!!!, 

the book and audio tapes of ice princess melania as released by her former "friend" (the trumps have no real friends),

the ramming of a USC lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land with all deliberate speed absent judicial review and public scrutiny. 

Get my drift? We're not talking about ANY of this!!! The trump agenda to manipulate, distract and change the narrative prevails again. Joe Biden pulled his truthful ads, that he instead deemed "negative" ads, out of respect to the trumps' having been plagued with their own illness, #trumpvirus. The trumps, those same subhumans who would have ramped up the attack believing their opponent to be in a weakened state and who have NEVER afforded the luxury of dignity or respect to ANYone no matter the circumstances! We now afford such to them?

Yes America, we are being played and distracted yet AGAIN! What happened to voting like our lives depend on it or to save the soul of the nation? This is not the time to travel that lonely "high road" traversed solely by Dems. Look in the rear view mirror Dems, nobody up there but you. Now, in the face of blatant treason and seige, is not the time to relent or retreat. Keep up the pressure and don't back off the battle until it is won! 

trump and the repugs are the same snakes they were pre-COVID hoax even if a few of them have tested positive in their defiance of following medical advice. Let them drink bleach and inject Lysol as suggested by their "fearless" cowardly leader. 

Wake Up Dems! 

Wake Up America!!! 

This fight IS for the soul of our nation and preservation of even our basic freedoms. The trumps are not our friends. What did Maya teach us? They have shown us who they are. Believe them! I do!

Don't be bamboozled...

~ Miss Higgi

The Dawning of America on The Passing of Justice Ginsburg

The news regarding the most untimely death of Justice Ginsberg came through while on a planning call for a discussion I am hosting on Sunday between Black Women and White Women regarding our relationships, perceptions and politics. Ironically, or maybe not, we were discussing the latter when one of my colleagues shared the news which sucked the air and the energy right out of the room. 

We are Black Women, mostly lawyers, all of age enough to understand what this means. For me, it is an immediate realization that all appeals stop at the USC. trump, putin and evil ass moscow mitch will stack the court and await the challenge to lost elections, reverse of civil rights and states rights laws, of course abortion and even women's rights. Why am I feeling reconstruction deja vu? 

All hopes for America regaining her standing, globally or otherwise, are out the window. Gay marriage, DACA and all other civil/social justice gains of the last 50 years are on shaky grounds. The ruthless, the corrupt and the proudly racist, white supremacists, xenophobic, homophobic illiterates have gained power that will last certainly for the rest of my lifetime. Again, I am reminded of reconstruction. History keeps repeating itself... 

Women's rights? Wake up 52%ers! The power of White Women will be tested. White men are their fathers, husbands and sons. This is going to get real funky real fast. We have not yet seen the depth and/or test of division. 

My response when this news hit was to shut it down and just go to bed. It is now on the downside of 2 AM. I guess one cannot sleep forever. I am experiencing wokeness the likes of which I would rather not. Sleep is not the antidote for this seemingly never ending nightmare that is the madness of our reality. Waking to the truth is inevitable... 

Right now the air is still sucked out of the room. Right now as the spineless republicans are partying and popping spirits on a spectrum somewhere between champagne and moonshine, the sane of us wonder what will become of the US. To all who flirted with or gambled with America's democracy in favor of racism, preserving or protecting whiteness, privilege, loss or sharing of power and to all those who hated or couldn't bring themselves to vote for Hillary, thank you. Are you the media that traded America's democracy and stability for profit and ratings in your incessant coverage of trump's campaigning, his continued racist kkk rallies and his absolute foolery beyond that, the media that failed to challenge him still in pursuit of profit and ratings? Are you that corporation that traded tax breaks and further exploitation of the American worker? How's that working out for you now? You too, are about to have hell to pay... 

What will the Dems do to save the nation? I wish they had more chutzpah but they don't. The republicans play them like a fiddle on a good day. SMH... Will they now appreciate the necessity to stop traveling that lonely high road traversed by only them and instead put intelligence, gut and determination to playing this nasty game called politics? Decorum be damned! Statesmanship and protocol out the window. Stop reaching across the aisle. There is no one reaching back. republicans are not your friends! republicans are not America's friends... 

What will We the People who did NOT elect donald trump do? He has never lied about or hidden his desire to install a dictator form of government. A mad, angry, mentally challenged and undeveloped semblance of a human being, much less a man, is at the helm. Have you supported him or been complicit in your silence? Lots of folks have lots of soul searching to do right now. Smart Americans have fled already. Stay gone! Incredibly, I am still here. Sigh... 

Yes, this feels like doom and gloom compounded exponentially. We were already exhausted by this administration and 4 years of the shenanigans of trump, putin and mitch. It is now that we really get to see what folks are made of, who are our friends and allies, what is the true spirit of Americans. What will be our response? Sadly, decent republicans are spineless too. It is them at this point who can stop this train wreck that they have conducted. Will they grow a pair? Not betting my money on it... 

Forgive my early morning and initial ramblings, much like my ramblings I blogged on the dawning of that dreadful day in November 2016. The tunnel seemed dark then, it is incredibly darker now. Looking forward to the warmth of sunshine that seems an ever elusive commodity... 

RIP Justice Ginsburg... 

RIP the illusion of what was America, you marketed yourself well. The truth of America however will now be revealed. Masks still in place. Sheets now permanently removed...

On Chadwick Boseman

What's In A Name?

I was thinking of Chadwick today and I thought what's in a name? How many Black men, from South Carolina no less, do we know who are named Chadwick? (smile) In giving him such an important sounding name, his parents planted a seed, that surely they watered, of expectations of greatness and excellence from him. Certainly he lived up to that and so much more.

Chadwick was a learned, wise and seemingly very kind and selfless man. He was not only a dreamer but a doer. He was a determined and confident man unafraid to pursue his dreams. He was regal. He was proud! He was a winner! He lived with purpose and on purpose! He gave others hope, especially children suffering from cancer when he knew he had cancer himself. Something a Chadwick would do... 

There IS something in a name especially when reinforced with love and adoration. What we are told about ourselves daily, even subliminally, matters, especially by our parents. It affects us in more ways than we can ever know. His parents, by way of his name, reminded him that he was regal and special and that great things were expected of and awaiting him. Calling him Chadwick, told him everyday that he was a King and a King he was! #Wakanda Forever! 

Our King T'Challah has gone home to be with the Ancestors. I am sure they welcomed him with open arms as a son who had done well in their honor. We have lost a really, really good, tireless and worthy soldier. Say his name...

Look at that smile...

First Reaction

Its hard not to ask "why?". He had so much promise, will and determination. For four years he worked HARD knowing he had stage III cancer. He unselfishly gave joy to others AND wedded the love of his life...

Call it will and determination which speaks to his roots, our roots and the resilience that we have and that sustains us as Black people. We must never forget...

He has gone to rest with his/our resilient Ancestors who undoubtedly welcomed him but still I ask "why"?. Not for me to know...

Chadwick was placed on this earth and he damn sure did his job on earth. He hustled between his dashes and left his mark for us to enjoy and admire forever more... Rest young warrior rest...

Look at his eyes. He was a wise and chosen soul...

Congressman John Lewis, My "Good Trouble" Role Model

Those who knew me in 2008, know that I was on the Obama train pretty early in the game when many were not. They were loyal to the Clintons. John Lewis was one of those persons. The Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) was actually split down the middle. It was an interesting time. I recall John Lewis making a tearful announcement of his endorsement of Barack Obama's candidacy. He was torn. The Clintons were his friends and they had been in the trenches together for many years. Understood. But he had to do the right thing. He was in Congress to represent his constituents and they were overwhelmingly backing Barack. Eventually Congressman Lewis came around. I was quite pleased and wrote to tell him so. Going through old emails, I found this one penned to him upon his announcement. This morning, I am sharing my walk down memory lane with you...

February 28, 2008

Congressman Lewis,

I cannot express fully enough just how proud I am of your decision to announce your support of Senator Obama. This is truly history in the making. After eight years of divisiveness, mean spiritedness and total indifference emanating from the White House and most of "conservative" America, this is an awakening, a catalyst for change and perhaps a time for healing in our country. Undoubtedly, it is the shot of positive reinforcement and vibrant energy that Black America needs. It is so beautiful to see us standing together supporting something/someone that is OH SO POSITIVE and believing in US! It is unacceptable that too many of our elected officials do not stand with us..., so yes I am PROUD that you made what seemed a very difficult decision.


It is my prayer that this rejuvenated and collective sense of pride and belief in ourselves and our capabilities will transcend this election and spill over into other aspects of our community. We are in desperate need of a healing, Black on Black murder rates are through the roof, too much teenage pregnancy - still, boys walking around with pants and their respect falling off their butts, video vixens are seemingly role models for far too many of our girls, desecration of the English language is applauded and spilling over into mainstream, a commitment for education has been replaced with a commitment to being cool, talking fast and making lots of money, vague regard for our history or for those such as yourself who have sacrificed so that we can be... I could go on and on.... So in light of all of that, yes I applaud and fully support the advancement of a young positive, electrifying, Black male role model. It is a testament to who we really are and far cry better than what the media prefers to portray. It is quite refreshing.


We NEED the CBC to support that image and to shield Barack as he is in for some trying times. He has looked to you all as his role models and his inspiration, especially you. The sharks are circling and are about to attack. As our history has taught us, there is a very big force in this country that does not want most folks, particularly those of color and/or poor, to think, to hope, or to believe that they can do better. They will be relentless in their efforts to tear Barack, his dream and his image as a positive Black male down. They will do anything to diffuse this renewed sense of hope, pride, unity and dignity amongst the masses. Again, he needs, WE need you to stand up and "get in the way"... Run defense (or is it offense? I know NOTHING about football - smile) for him, if you will... So welcome aboard. I pray other members of the CBC follow your lead and get on board very soon... Sadly, I think it to their detriment if they do not...


The Senator's campaign is powerful and positive inspiration for so many. His message to ALL folks, not just Black folks, is "YES YOU CAN" if you just Believe in YOU!!!" But more importantly, his dream is what I believe you and so many others fought, died, got beaten, abused, humiliated, disrespected but ultimately stood for. So that someone like Obama could dare have the audacity to not only hope for himself and his children, but the audacity to hope for a better nation, and the hope to inspire so many others from ALL sectors of our society. This has GOT to be the Dream that Dr. King spoke of and the pathway to the Beloved Community you envision...


Again, PROUD that you have announced what was no doubt a very difficult decision. I appreciate your affection for the Clintons. Most of us share your sentiment and I truly hope that at the end of this they remain a favored family in the Black community. I truly do... That being said...


Welcome aboard My Friend! Still one your most avid supporters and still following your lead of "getting in the way!"


Respectfully,
Helen L. Higginbotham, Esq/MBA


PS. Would love to do lunch again... My treat!

The Beat That Must Not Go On...

Three days ago I wrote a Facebook post entitled "My Take" (see below) on trump's inevitable removal from the white house post November's election. He is a POS, he will lose by a landslide and he will not step down. Count on it. He is corrupt and ruthless. He has lied about many things but has shown us his truth in this regard. For whatever reason, America, on both sides of the aisle at this point, but especially the repugs', have fallen in line with this vicious maniacal subhuman 100% devoid of conscious or capacity to feel, much less think. The closer we get to his demise marking the end of his terror and the more his popularity and influnence wane, the more dangerous and vile he becomes. This tax evading treasonistic egotistical draft dodger is itching to be a wartime "president". There are no wars launched by him so he will create one even if between We the People right here in these United States of America. He, nor the petty men who hold him up, is not concerned about death and destruction of the country "they love", only protecting their white male imagery and seemingly the lunacy of a bonafide and rabid madman.

We have learned many things during this four year reign of terror. One thing for sure has been confirmed, generally speaking of course, still, white men could give a damn about their legacy, their children, how they will be regarded in history nor the earth they will leave to be inherited by their offspring. As we've heard and seen this story before, we know how it ends if allowed to play out. Generally speaking, white men could give two shits about their children nor the planet, all that seems of relevance for these white men is an insane accumulation of wealth and of course power, be there no people or earth upon whom to expend that wealth or power. And "good" men sit idly by as our nation is consumed and further corrupted beyond repair.

The affects of the pandemic are not the only "new normal" we seem to have accepted. I have ceased questioning what will be the straw in trump's antics that breaks the camel's back. He IS that child who keeps pushing the envelope to see just far his parents will allow him to go. America has taken this 'time out' shit to a new crazy! This is a child who well deserves being abused. There have been so many incredibly unbelievable moments that would have ended many a worthy and real politician's career yet this man, who knows no boundaries nor cares anything about politics or protocol, is left to run the country like a mafioso dictator and has gone unchecked and damn near unchallenged (in any real way); roger stone, Russian attacks on American soldiers, children in cages, disrespect of American intelligence and veterans, a private militia invading America cities and America has essentially said nothing. It boggles the mind! Americans are not horrified? Have we not seen this before?

trump does not act alone. At this point, he acts with America's complicity and grace. America the great will go down as America the great victim. Historically, she has been the victimizer. She has now conceded to being the victimized. The breaking of America. It's incredible to watch. trump will not leave peacefully in November. He has lied about many things but for once he speaks the truth. He and ALL republicans, who share the blood on trump's hands, MUST go! Our military will either defend a crazy man hell bent on taking over our nation or they will honor their oath to defend the constitution and the nation they offered and risked their lives to serve.

Here we are once again in history facing a turning point. Which road will we travel? I am hopeful that trump will break his last straw long before November and that American people, the Democrats, Independents, Green and all other political parties and/or ideologies and our military will stand in unity and finally say ENOUGH and finally fight back against this coup in plain sight of America! How ironic would it be that despite his divisive and racist mission, it will be trump's hate that unifies this broken and divided nation? Now THAT would be poetic and would truly make this new, post pandemic, America deservedly great! Even those who don't like or respect America will watch in awe, relief and astonishment at our commitment, courage and American spirit to save our democracy instead of in pity, shock, sheer horror and utter disbelief at our current lack of will in the face of tyranny.

Stop the Music... 

My Take:

He loses in November, even though by a landslide, ignoring that #everybodyhatestrump, he claims victory by way of voter fraud, paid electoral college members or some other desperate means, he refuses to leave and tries to maintain he and putin's occupation. 70% of America, that hate and are exhausted by him, and the Dems, FINALLY will rise up against this band of loudmouth, corrupt and/or complicit bullies and their coup of our nation. We will say hell no!, your ass MUST go! To which he riles his base of deplorable bikers, kkk defeated flag waving confederates, to circle the White House with their personal arsenals to defy his eviction and the will of the American majority, to block his removal to which the Dems call in the military to throw out the garbage. The bike riding, hood wearing deplorable kkk terrorists are ordered to leave because cops don't shoot white men even when being menacing, threatening and bearing arms. Ultimately they will leave. While I love the vision of trump being paraded before the nation in cuffs and much to the delight of the rest of the civilized world, trump however will have slipped out to Russia with putin, still talking shit from afar but never to return. His band of angry racists will burn down the white house before they leave but the reign of trump/pence/republican terror will be over. We will rejoice along with our international friends who have also endured our hell and watched the dismantling of America in sheer shock and horror. There will be epic celebrations worldwide! Americans will regroup, fix all of the shit he fucked up, starting with saving American lives by addressing COVID-19, rebuild an even better white house and keep it moving. The republican party is done! The Democrats finally grow a pair and deviate from that glorified "high road" traveled only by them. All will be better in the world. Not perfect but damn better!

The End

~ Miss Higgi

Facebook post July 20, 2020

On Forgiveness & Teaching Others...

Chris Cooper's reported refusal to cooperate in the prosecution of Amy Cooper, the woman who made false accusations against him while birdwatching in Central Park, NY that could have resulted in death or unwarranted persecution of him is either a demonstration of how thoroughly white folks have conditioned Black folks to be good, forgiving, God and/or white folk fearing and Christian-like or a demonstration of how ridiculous is their fear or paranoia of us, Black folks, seeking revenge...

He probably regrets sharing the video with his sister who made it go viral and who does not share his feelings of empathy for what happens to Amy for behavior that could have resulted in the death or unjustified incarceration of her brother, a Black man in America. I'm with the sister. Hold her accountable!

Brotha' had the presence of mind to record the injustice being exacted upon him. Sadly however, not the presence of mind or courage to forge a new narrative about him as a Black man or to set a new precedent on folks being held accountable for their malicious deeds or trespasses against us for simply living while Black in America. This is bigger than him. He needs to cooperate.

We cannot demand equality and justice, "No Justice, No Peace", from the legal system and then when it is afforded us get sheepish, protective, forgiving, deny or refuse it, therefore giving justification to the horrendous treatment of us no matter our perception of the DA's motive to finally see fit to render us equal justice and protections under the law. Ain't we people too? We teach folks how to treat us. I am not in favor of the lesson Mr. Cooper has chosen to teach here...

Not to cooperate is to reaffirm or send a message that it is OK to violate, harm or risk our life and/or liberty, that somehow, no matter the treatment of us, it is justified but more disturbing that have accepted or internalized the double standard by which we are judged. Inequity and unfair treatment of us is not OK, especially not with us.

We cannot have it both ways. If justice brings peace in the morning, then let us receive it not rebuke it! STOP with the one-sided forgiveness shit! Let the church say Amen...

~Miss Higgi Says...

We’re Damned If We Do, Dead If We Don’t...

Someone who read the byline on my recently published article, A Black American's Appeal for Independence, asked about my move to Camden, NJ. I said that it was on purpose because gentry-fication is real. It is where I was born, had my first real job and where I went to law school. I would not have moved to Camden right now however had I known I would be in quarantine. I probably would have left the US preferring to ride out this pandemic somewhere more serene. Lots of us would have done things differently if only we had known... Of course we would have. This is like living in a sci fi movie with a satirical comedic twist that ain't so funny. Hell! I don't even like sci-fi and now I'm living it? Who would have ever thought it?

I have learned never to gamble with your feng shui. Stick with what you know is comfortable and brings you joy, especially in your home, especially at my age. I like high rise apartment buildings with balconies, preferably overlooking or near water and hot, hot weather. Had I known that my home would become my "prison", that is where I'd be, in surroundings that bring me joy during this time of trouble.

These are especially difficult times in the US because at a time of crisis, "America the Great!" has no leadership. The virus is spreading like hell, killing with a vengeance, and this guy is rolling the dice that more Black folks will die than whites. Whites who die will be considered to have done so for the utilitarian good, continued dominance and survival of their brethren. Like Black folks, they have been deemed expendable. These same people, the republicans, were just as cavalier and unconcerned about HIV as long as they could sell to their "good Christian" followers that it was contained to "sinners" in the gay and IV drug using communities. Never is their hate in short supply. But then there was the contaminated blood supply and cute little, fair skinned Ryan White. Still, they haven't learned. What's that they say about having a hard head?

This is surely a crazy time to be American in America. Have you noticed during this political campaign season, there has been no mention of the wall to fire up the already angry base? The wall, ANOTHER of trump's failures... Hell, I don't think we hear much lately about how great is America or making America great again - Enter Kanye West! Oh Lord! As though we have not been tortured enough in these last four years... Back to the wall, no one is trying to come into US. If anything, we are trying to get out but who will take us? No one! And rightfully so!

The days of privilege and welcome mats for bearers of that little blue passport are over, at least in the foreseeable future, maybe forever. Post trump damage assessment will be astounding even to his supporters... Other countries, to include those deemed "shit-hole" countries by the occupier, with responsible governments, are deciding that the risk of COVID is not worth tolerance of the ugly American for a few tourist dollars. Mexico probably now says build the wall, build it high and stay on your side! LOL! These are just sorrowful days in the US. Be glad if you are outside the borders. I cannot believe that globetrotting me is here. Oh well. This too shall pass, just no time soon.

And then there is November. Ain't gonna' be pretty. trump, the last of the "great white hopes", will continue to assemble and spread COVID to poor and/or angry, scared, hate filled and racist whites at his kkk rallies, he will inundate us with nasty sound bites and media ads but he will not engage in debates or other political campaign rituals citing overwhelming hate for him by We The People, fake news and unfair advantages in the media for Joe Biden and the liberal Democrats, the party of which he was a member until calling himself republican better served his ego, his bottom-line or his purpose and incredibly, as he predicted or extorted, the "good patriots" all fell in line and caved. Amazing!

trump is a coward who is a bigger bully! In keeping with his current record of losing or ruining all that he touches, as in 2016 he will not win the presidential election. As bad as it seems and as loud as they are, there are not quite enough ignorant and racist folks in the US to win a nationwide election. He is counting on putin, a morally bankrupt, corrupt and complicit senate or paying off the electoral college for his "win". When all else fails, he will rely on stacked courts, federal to US Supreme Court to advance his coup. No matter the outcome, his ignorant ass will not concede.

He will instead incite his 5th Avenue cult followers to wreak havoc, maim, hang, shoot or otherwise kill others, burn shit down including the white house if necessary, whatever act(s) of intimidation it takes and is in accordance with their terrorist, racist history. They will risk their freedom and the mass destruction of another civil war in defense of him, a demented and evil imposter loyal only to himself. Meanwhile he and his deplorable family, who also could give a damn about any of their defenders, will be safely tucked away in a bunker somewhere paid for by their tax dollars as they risk death and tear up the country.

It's going to be quite the shit show, a test of testosterone for the Democrats, something they're not known to possess. Wusses! Will they roll over once again, being predictable and easily manipulated as they play by the rules known to all, followed only by them, as they travel along that over rated "high road" traversed only by them or will they take whatever drastic measures are required to save the nation and remove the loathsome, cowardly, unlawful, corrupt, treasonous bastard who by the way, will still be a PITA (pain in the ass) tormenting us from the sidelines whether occupying the white house or not. He will never go away and dumb dumb don jr and evil ivanka are waiting in the wings to take his place when he is no longer able, God wiling soon, to continue his torture of us. This is a movie I would prefer to have watched from afar, if at all...

Good Monday Morning Folks! Yes, these are the thoughts of uncertainty that I awake to as an American in America. Those outside America watch in horror and disbelief while others outside the US pass the popcorn and cheer in delight as they witness our inevitable fall, which came easier than even they imagined I am sure.

Being American, is especially exhausting right now. Ain't much good about it but still we fight! Of course we do! Vote People Vote! Don your BLUE and get to the polls no matter the obstacle, no matter the candidate or his running mate! Understand that if your vote didn't matter there would not be such intense efforts from one party to garner it and the other party to suppress it!!! Black lives matter as do our votes! Believe it!!! Vote to save the nation built by our ancestors and for the next generation to come who are out there in those damn streets lifting their voice and fighting for us. We owe our youth and our Ancestors, a future and the respect of our vote respectively...

Meet me at the polls!!!

~ Miss Higgi

Note: Title tribute to my dear friend Donna Washington

Frederick Douglass Speaks 1852 - 2020; What to Black America is the 4th of July?

I imagine that even before, and certainly since, the bold and infamous speech delivered by Frederick Douglass on July 5, 1852, What to the American Slave is your 4th of July?, this has been a day of mixed meaning to Americans based on race. I dare say that for most Black Americans, it has meant a day of family, eating, sun and fun, a day off from work and maybe even some fireworks. I don't remember ever there being mention of Americanism or patriotism in our celebrations. We dare not fly the flag nor wear any combination of red, white and blue on that day or any other, the colors of the American flag, representative of a meaning of Americanism mostly unfamiliar to us. I vividly remember no longer saluting the flag early in my elementary school years; 2nd or 3rd grade. Once Black students in my mostly white school learned that all we had to do was stand, that was all she wrote. No longer did we cross our heart or utter words of allegiance about liberty, freedom and justice that did not apply to us, words that were not and still are not reflective of our reality of being Black in America. To say that Black Americans have a complicated relationship with this country that we built, is a HUGE understatement...

Fast forward to 2003, I am about to start law school. I am enrolled in some pre-entry program abeeing oddered at a big law firm in DC. It is a small group of first year law students. Most of the participants are non-white. Lawyers are volunteering their time to show us the ropes and help us to get acclimated and prepared for our new journey. I met some good people there who I still call friends today. I will never forget on the eve of the 4th of July, in comes a partner wanting to address us about the holiday. He proudly gives each of us two pocket sized books; the US Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, which he declared the greatest document ever written. SMH... Not even 3/5 or me shares that sentiment. He continues still with much pride that each year on the 4th, he and his family gather to read the Declaration. Eyes wide, brows frowned, I am looking at my peers to assess their unspoken response because certainly I'm not identifying and never have I described either of these two documents as the best ever written. I remember thinking just how different and far apart were our worlds when it came to some very basic ideals and beliefs but white folks, thinking it is they who set the norm, have no sense or care that Black folks don't share their values or views about what is or is not important or relevant to us. Our voice of disagreement is silenced or made invisible as they continue to inflict their values and beliefs upon us rarely giving ours even the least of consideration.

Fast forward again to July 4th, 2020. America is experiencing a reckoning of sorts; certainly giving the appearance of commitment of efforts to come to terms with race in America and the complicated relationship Blacks have with them, their flag, their holiday, their values. America is taking steps to address police brutality and what it truly means to be policed while Black in America, making steps to acknowledge the pain of Black Americans and kinda' awkwardly apologizing with all sorts of interesting gestures, recognizing Juneteenth, a very special holiday, Lift Ev'ry Voice & Sing, the Black National Anthem, immediately firing those exposed for trespassing against us EVEN cops, removing offensive statutes and the like. At the same time however, giving balance to our complicated relationship, police unions are revving up their defense of the indefensible, Black people are still being attacked and not so mysteriously again becoming "strange fruit" hanging from trees in not so strange places to include NJ!, yet we are to believe that these persons have committed suicide by hanging themselves (Newsflash: Black folks didn't lynch ourselves during jim crow when white folks picnicked and froliked beneath our hanging bodies nor do we lynch ourselves now nor kill ourselves while handcuffed in the backseat of police cars) and let us not forget that there is a raving, illiterate racist lunatic inciting further division and signaling hopes for a civil war while occupying the white house that enslaved Black folks were forced to build free of charge. By virtue of our history here in this country, Black Americans have EARNED the right to call ourselves American but many understandably still struggle with this notion. So still, it remains a complicated relationship between Black Americans, our nation's flag, our decision to love or not to love this country that we built and all too often, with our fellow citizens who enslaved and continue to traumatize us and who are white...

No, I will not be celebrating today, mostly because of the pandemic that is disproportionately killing Black folks and taking out whites who are obviously deemed collateral damage or expendable utilitarian goods as our current and blatantly racist US government does nothing to address or control spread of the virus nationally. Not looking to make his task of Black genocide any easier, I will stay home. Otherwise I would enjoy the day by a pool or a beach preferably outside the country or just dropping in locally to visit and catch up with friends. But please, by all means, do you! Celebrate or not. Just be safe and be wise in the choices that make for yourself regarding what you decide to do or not do. Also remember to please allow and respect the choice of others and how they choose to spend their day. It is America. So far, we still have free speech and freedoms of thought and expression. I know for certain however that I will not be reading the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence nor taking in the fireworks. I will be chillin' and celebrating me as I see fit!!!

Proud to be independent to do as I please on this controversial day of celebration that I am choosing to call Frederick Douglass Day! Please listen to his speech as recited by his grandchildren, fully in his spirit and sadly, still applicable to the Black man's cause for celebration of July 4th, ONE HUNDRED SIXTY EIGHT years later. Still we ponder the same question, What to the Slave is the 4th of July?

Enjoy Your Day!!!

https://www.npr.org/2020/07/03/884832594/video-frederick-douglass-descendants-read-his-fourth-of-july-speech

❤️🖤💚

Reckoning With #YOUTOO!!!

It is interesting to me that those most uncomfortable with or struggling most to grapple with this current "reckoning of America" if you will, are liberal white folks who have to come to terms with their complicity in the systemic traumatization of Black Americans. Typically it is they who are in the chorus with Black folks calling out and pointing fingers of blame and shame at republicans and other racists for some egregious or blatantly discriminatory deed. This time however the Black choir members are turning to [on] their fellow carolers and saying to them #YOUTOO!!! The "good liberal" white folks, you know like Amy Cooper, the white woman in Central Park, NYC who relied on translation and understanding of the racism in her coded language used to convey a false claim of distress to the 9-11 dispatcher that a "big Black man was trying to rape her" all the while being filmed to the contrary, are beside themselves that Black folks think #themtoo complicit in harms experienced by us because of race.

Some Black folks have always said they prefer the overt, in your face kind of racism associated with the southern experience as opposed to the back door, behind the scene, smile in your face while twisting the knife in your back racism typical of the liberal north. There is a sense that at least with blatant racism, one knows where they stand.

Liberal whites who have been gatekeepers and all too willing beneficiaries if not practitioners of racism themselves have mistaken silence and tolerance by Black people as acceptance or forgiveness for the pain they conveniently ignored but have wreaked in our lives and seen on our faces. These folks are having to come to grips with the fact that marrying Black, adopting Black babies, holding jobs in the helping profession, having a few Black friends and the like does not absolve them from holding racist beliefs or at the very least being complicit in the perpetuation of racism and certainly it doesn't make them any kind of authority on what it means to be Black in America nor a natural "ally" to Blacks in America.

A prime example of such an awakening was when Black folks decided to back Barack Obama's candidacy for POTUS instead of Hillary Clinton's. The Clintons and the Dems lost their mind! I only wish I could find the footage of Geraldine Ferraro. She all but said, "after all we have done for you "Ninjas". She could not contain her anger. Little did she realize that it was in fact Blacks who, year after year, had done for her and the Dems with our loyalty in voting. Bill and Hillary behaved badly too. Yes, #THEMTOO!

Hillary paid a price for this during her 2016 run. Black folks did not forget and did not show up at the polls for her as she and others assumed we would. The Dems never quite understood that the overwhelming support of Barack Obama was all about the candidate more than about the party. They took Black voter support for granted and did nothing to thank us for our vote or to keep us engaged in politics and then wondered why we didn't show up with the same enthusiasm in 2016. They blamed Black folks instead of examining themselves. Of course they did, good liberals who think we should be forever grateful for "all they do for us". I digress...

I am watching and listening as I see all these corporations and non-profits responding in varied and interesting, but undeniably awkward, ways to send messages of gratitude and support, if not veiled apologies, to Black customers and employees who they have abused, underpaid, disrespected, ignored, disregarded, devalued and discriminated against, not hired, not promoted, denied agency or contracts, etc in the workplace. Some are making Juneteenth a holiday, Uber Eats is waiving fees for deliveries from Black owned restaurants and even the NFL is magically embracing one's right to protest and offering to re-hire Colin Kaepernick. It's all quite fascinating to watch as they fall all over themselves to say mea culpa or try to have the "difficult" conversation about RACE as it pertains to Black folks that heretofore they have avoided with deliberate intent. They concentrated instead on all kinds of "others" in the guise of diversity rather than deal with how Black folks were feeling and being treated in the workplace. Now they want us to listen to the words they cannot find and would not hear from us when we tried to express ourselves and put words to what we were experiencing. It's a great time to be in the business of race and/or cultural competencies. Contracts are coming from everywhere!

To self proclaimed allies:
My advice is to just listen during these conversations. Don't correct Black people in what or how they express their feelings. Don't interrupt and interject how you feel. It ain't about you right now. Black folks are sick and tired of holding it in and together, we are exhaling a collective release of pent up anger, frustration and pain. So white women, gay people, disabled people, people of color who are not Black and even Black people who aren't Black (you know who you are), this is not your time. Do not sit in these conversations and divert the energy and subject matter to discussions about you. We have been hearing all about you and have been supportive and respectful to issues pertaining to you ever since we fought for rights that gave you a voice and/or a seat at the table we prepared. Yes, #YOUTOO, all the while standing on our shoulders, have served to drown out the Black voice. Sometimes it has been you who has had a foot on our neck. So if you must be in the room and are not leading the discussion, just be there and be quiet. Let the panther have his day...

"Panthers don't hunt humans. Although in some cultures people believe that black panthers are dangerous animals, this isn't true. Panthers only attack if they feel threatened, so if you leave them alone, they will leave you alone."

To liberal whites:
Like the panther, Black folks just want to be left alone, treated right, respected, not taken for granted and not hunted like animals by those paid to protect and serve us. And when that doesn't happen, we need you good liberal white folks who are now having such a hard time finding the right words, time or place to speak up, to stand with us even when it is to your own detriment, even at the expense of releasing your grip on "white privilege", that elusive ideology that has become the convenient excuse for explaining away all that is unfair but of course in your favor. To offer an acknowledgement of white privilege as though it is some inevitable, unavoidable, inexplicable condition is falling on deaf ears. Find a new tune, the choir no longer appreciates those lyric. They have no melody nor meaning...


To Black Americans:
Black folks, stop harboring your pain. It is not healthy for you mentally or physically. It falls on us to not let this reckoning or conversation about race and the reality of living while Black in America to die. Like #METOO, there must be a #YOUTOO movement. No longer should we ignore, rationalize, internalize or excuse away pain or insults heralded at us at the risk of our being labeled "angry", "combative", "overly sensitive" or "confrontational" by those who have mastered use of these labels to avoid or deflect from discussions of race because it makes them uncomfortable. Is not our comfort important? Have we not internalized enough pain or discomfort for just being Black in America? We must resist tolerance of being other people being offended at our expense, no matter who the offender when it pertains to race, Black folks specifically. In real time or as close to the offending act or event as possible, inform the offender of his or her behavior. Lift your voice and sing loudly, #YOUTOO! Be not concerned with the discomfort of the offender. Look that person straight in the eye and tell them #YOUTOO are responsible for the trauma I endure for simply living while Black in America. Tell that person, be it your neighbor, your friend, your colleague, lover, supervisor, teacher or college professor, co-worker, a fellow parishioner or some other self proclaimed ally, your banker, your lawyer, whoever it is, when they offend, disregard or marginalize you, tell them, #YOUTOO! You are the best advocate for you and we teach others how to treat us. So far our lessons have failed. No one seems to hear our song. It is time to adopt new practices, teach a new lesson, sing a new song with new lyrics.  We are breathing, feeling and thinking human beings who hurt but who have beautiful and powerful voices and we sing. Folks love to hear us sing so let's entertain them. We must lift our voice in harmony in our continued pursuit for equality and liberty. Until our victory is won, Lift Ev'ry Voice and Sing! #OURSTOO!

Lift ev'ry voice and sing

'Til earth and heaven ring

Ring with the harmonies of Liberty

Let our rejoicing rise

High as the list'ning skies

Let it resound loud as the rolling sea

Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us

Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us

Facing the rising sun of our new day begun

Let us march on 'til victory is won

Lift Every Voice and Sing, Written in 1899 by James Weldon Johnson, set to music in 1900 by his brother J. Rosamond Johnson, adopted by the NAACP in 1919 and still revered today as the 

Negro National Anthem.

Imagining Breonna Taylor; Say Her Name

#BreonnaTaylor

Can you just imagine, you are a hard working, law abiding woman. You go to bed in the comforts of your home and in the protection and warmth of your man's arms. Hoodlums dressed in blue kick open your door, break into your home with guns drawn forever disturbing your peace and that of your community and your loved ones. Imagine that...

These thugs, all dressed in blue, shoot and murder you. You never saw it coming. You died not knowing that it was your tax dollars that paid the salary of the hoodlums who murdered you and falsely arrested your man. Drama and trauma all rolled into one and all you were trying to do was get a good night sleep.The thugs in blue, were in fact cops on the local municipal payroll. You were an EMT and might have even worked with them or someday saved their lives. Now they have murdered you. Imagine that...

The cover up begins. Your man is arrested for doing what men are supposed to do, defend his woman and protect his household. You are now in a black body bag. He is now in an orange body suit. How in the hell did that happen when all you did was go to bed in the comforts of your own home? Self defense in one's home is not a crime but now your man, who rightfully shot in self defense, is being paraded like a criminal before the media by the criminals who killed you. One can only imagine what is going through his mind. Thank God for Judge Olu Stevens who brought justice to this matter and released Mr. Walker with no bail pending trial for commission of no crime. A Black Judge committed to justice did that! Imagining Justice for ALL in America...

You were aware of the endless incidents of Black lives ended by poorly trained, fearful and/or violent police. Never could you have imagined when you put your head on your pillow on that fateful night in March that your name would be added to a long list of infamous Black folks murdered for no reason other than simply Living While Black. Against your will, you are now part of an ever growing list of innocent Black Americans who die victims in infamy at the hands of murderous cops. And all you ever wanted was a good night sleep in the comfort of your man's arms. Instead, in a flash and without notice, your life, your dreams, your future and that of your man is over. Your light and his have been extinguished. You are forever gone. He is forever changed... It hurts to imagine that...

And to think that all the cops had to do was knock and respect you and your man in your home as they would have done given another zip code. Across town, there is no presumption of guilt nor fear of retaliation for all the harm they have inflicted upon the community. Across town, never would they have violated you or the sanctity of your home in the wee hours of the morning murdering you and arresting your man. Across town, they would have done their homework and realized before kicking in your door while you slept in you man's arms that yours was the wrong address and that already they had in custody the man they were seeking. Across town I imagine that still you would be alive nursing and tending to wounded cops, their friends, their families or others of innocent victims of their crimes such as yourself. Across town, there would be justice and accountability for what happened to you and your man. I would like to imagine the same for your community and your loved ones. Instead, I imagine their pain...

Imagining Breonna Taylor, Say Her Name!

Justice For Kenneth Walker!!! Say His Name Too!

Breonna & Kenneth