Give Me My Flowers...

As we begin to celebrate this holiday season reflecting on the last year and all for which we are thankful, I respectfully remind everyone to please give your friends and loved ones their flowers while they are here to smell them, to appreciate them...

Last Sunday I traveled to NJ to support the call of a very dear and long time friend who is need of a kidney transplant. His call for help went out to many. I am forever thankful to my friends, many who do not even know him, who on my word alone and out of respect for our friendship, made contributions in his honor. My friend & I thank you VERY MUCH!!!

In addition to his plea for on-line donation requests, on Sunday he held a fundraiser wherein friends and family could come and support his cause while at the same time shower him with much needed love, lift his spirits during his time of need, and give him his flowers, if you will. He and his wife went to great lengths to host a dinner and silent auction at a local banquet hall. The proceeds were intended to support his valiant efforts to raise money to save his life... I respect that it is not easy to ask for help. It was important to support his request...

While it is not my intent to suggest how others should spend their time or their money, I cannot deny the emotion that I was deeply disheartened to see the weak response of those who profess to be his friend, those who profess to care about and want the best for him, those who will show up at his bedside or God forbid, at his funeral, crying a bucket of tears and/or consoling his family reminding them of what a great guy he is/was.

I cannot deny the emotion that I felt as I watched my friend camouflage his hurt and disappointment that his "friends" did not show up to support him, to support his life. He is truly a GREAT guy, a GIVING guy, a guy on whom you can truly depend...

I was reminded of Michael Jackson's passing when so many celebrities took front and center to proclaim what a great guy he was but whose silence was deafening when he truly needed their support. I was reminded of how we dress up and show up for a party, but how at times like these we are filled with excuses and reasons why we cannot show up and show off in support of a worthy cause... I am reminded that basically we are good people who sometimes let life get in the way. I am hopeful that at this time of year when we are most kind and most thankful, that even though folks did not show up in large numbers, that they went (will go) on line and made a small contribution because every little bit helps...

I am truly blessed to have some of the best friends in the world, so I know it goes without saying, but Miss Higgi Says, Please give me my flowers while I am here... I want to see them, I want to smell them and I want to thank you and I want for you to witness how much I appreciate them, how much I appreciate you!!!

During this holiday season, don't forget your loved ones. Be especially kind and show others LOTS & LOTS of love!!! If you want to support my friend, Otis Hicks, he will be raising money for the next several months. If you want to make an end of year tax deductible donation in his honor, here is the link:
http://www.ntafund.org/find-a-patient/profile/index.cfm/patient/9CFBA8EF-0A34-495F-50FDCAF4758AE13E

Miss Higgi Says,
Thank You and Be Safe During this Holiday Season!!!

Black Men Hurt Too...

Can I say Black Men Hurt Too and perhaps that is why they find the "truth" of For Colored Girls so upsetting and/or as painful to watch as do their sisters??? I'm Just Askin'...

A friend suggested that perhaps they are pained because some of them see their present or former selves in the movie. Some see reflections of men they knew/know and whose behavior they have come to tolerate or excuse. Others may hurt because 30+ years later our relationships with one another seem to have progressed so very little and some just simply hurt because they are tired of Brothas getting a bad rap! I'm Just Guessin' but I Get It... I feel my Brotha's pain...

I accept that WE've Got Work To Do and a new generation to save! I AM WILLING...

Roll Up Your Sleeves Folks!

Happy Tuesday!!!

For Colored Girls; Kudos To Tyler Perry

On Saturday I saw "For Colored Girls" with 9 other women of varying ages. I left the theater feeling very overwhelmed. I think I had a headache (smile). I pondered that it was so much pain in such a short span of time, a two hour movie... I had to remind myself of the complete title of Ntozake Shange's work, "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf". Of course I had a headache and was feeling overwhelmed... OK, so we proceed to lunch to do what intelligent Black women do, debrief and critique... Overall the consensus was that Mr. Tyler did a Phenomenal Job! He successfully captured the soul of Ms. Shange's poems and the subsequent play. He adequately captured the spirit of her work and put it on the big screen. One woman who had seen the Broadway play and read the book, opined that his work was "damn near perfect". I was too young to see the play, but there is no denying the level of progression in the quality of Mr. Perry's work. Good For Him!!!

I left the theater thinking of a former Black female college professor who years ago told me she would not see movies or read books that depict Black folks in a negative way. This was in the 90's on the heels of The Color Purple, Toni Morrison and Terri McMillan was blowing up. She critiqued that our experience was so much more than doom and gloom and that not all of us had been molested or had such horrific experiences at the hands of Black men in our lives... She wanted balance that we are SO much more... I left the theater being reminded of her words and knowing that our Brothas would be angry and echo her view regarding this movie. Only one Black male was depicted in a positive light. But as a friend shared, consider the context of the poems and the play and the time in which they were offered, the 70's. She continued that the work was written BY a woman, FOR women...

The immediate lesson for me following the movie was an affirmation that as WOMEN we need to stick together and support one another. Stop with the petty jealousy, competitiveness, and small minded BS that I call silly "GIRL" stuff. Tyler appropriately ends the movie depicting the WOMEN coming together in strength. We need to do more of that.

Conversely, the movie affirmed for me that our MEN need to be sensitive to the very REAL pain that they [can] cause us... NOT ALL MEN but far too many of them. Black male writers are blogging and criticizing Tyler Perry for not offering balance in this movie. They are bothered that he added to the negative depiction of Black men. As I posted on one of the blog sites, this is but one of Mr. Perry's works. He has done his fair share of also promoting Black men in a positive light; Daddy's Little Girl, his role in Why Did I Get Married and I am sure there are more. I don't like all of TP's work but when a Brotha' gets it right, give the man his props!

The fact that the movie peaked this discussion is confirmation that Tyler hit the mark. The fact that these painful realities still resonate in our community some 30+ years later speaks volumes and suggests that we've got some healing to do. Not talking about and/or confronting our pain does not make it any less true or any less painful. Sadly, some aspect of For Colored Girls IS reality for far too many girls of all hues... I say let the healing begin and I urge that Sistahs step aside and let our Brothas lead the way. Black Women Hurt Too...

I'm Just Sayin'...