Saw The Movie...

While killing time in Manhattan on yesterday, I decided to see the movie, "The Help". Ms. Davis and the entirety of the female cast did us proud. It was clear that the producer understood the sensitivity of the subject and was very thoughtful in its presentation. The movie depicted a sad truth in our history, peppered with just enough humor to keep the moviegoer entertained while educating, not diminishing or down playing, the public regarding the realities of a very harsh period in American history. A period in our history that some would like to forget, others would like to rewrite. A part of  our “past” that may be more part of our "present" than some would like to accept. I’m Just Sayin’…

During the movie there was a White woman sitting next to me who at one emotional point in the film just started sobbing. Skeeter confronts her Mother and demands an explanation of what happened to her “Help”, her surrogate Mother, Constantine, who disappeared without explanation when Skeeter went off to college. I wanted to ask my neighbor what she was feeling at that moment but of course I did not. After the movie, she immediately left the theater. I thought I had missed my chance until I saw her in the lobby. I wanted to have tea and talk with her but I had a bus to catch. Instead we walked together and talked. She explained that while she was emotional because she had just lost an Aunt, she admitted that she was moved by the movie because it brought back memories of a "woman who helped her family" and reminded her of just how dysfunctional her family is. She went on to say that we "create" our families where we can...

I share that to say there is good in the movie in that it can and it did, raise the consciousness of the viewer on both sides. Recognizing the controversy, I had planned to view the movie with a group of mixed race women, followed by what I knew would be lively and thoughtful discussion. Unfortunately, an overloaded schedule got in the way of these good intentions and I was not able to plan this activity.

My hope is that maybe, just maybe, some modern day "Hilly" saw herself in the movie and will treat her "Help" better because of it. The heroines of the movie live on. Still today there are lots of "Abilenes, Millies, and Constantines" as well as “Hillys, Elizabeths” and others out there. Of course the “Help” now comes in different shades, from different lands and/or with different accents, but they are the Help nonetheless and despite race, ethnicity or origin, are likely similarly mistreated or disregarded. Maybe this movie will make a difference in how those who employ others see themselves and how they treat "the Help"... I'm Just Hopin'...  

For all those who have been "the Help", including my Mother, I feel your pain and respect your tenacity to survive. For all those who employ "the Help", remember "but for the grace of God there go You (I)..." and be mindful that for many, and not so many generations ago, there went you! I'm Just Sayin'... 

To all, I encourage that you see this movie. It was tastefully done...

Good "Help" Is Hard to Find...

Here are comments I posted on The Ladner Report, a blog by Dr. Joyce Ladner, in response to a very insightful and heartfelt post she made regarding the movie The Help. I am still reading the book and I do plan to see the movie.


I wrote:

Thanks for speaking your truth Dr. Ladner, it reminds us of Our truth... Our strength... Our resolve... And why we should be so proud. Black folks have truly been through some stuff AND STILL WE STAND! Amazing and Resilient! That's what we are... 

I have not yet seen the movie but I have read most of the book and watched the promos. Quite frankly, it is Viola Davis’ accepting the lead role that inspired me to read the book and see the movie. She has credence. Recognizing her pride and accepting that the story was going to be told, I am trusting that she would not compromise her/our integrity…

As I read the book and watch the promos, I am struck that Black women are given such praise and reverence for raising other people’s children. Seemingly to the exclusion of their birth mothers, children, mostly women, who are now adults and likely parents themselves, are searching and longing for the love and nurturing of their Black maids who they admit “raised” them. Fascinating! Because today, America’s foster care system suggests just the opposite. Nationally, Black children today are overwhelmingly and disproportionately over represented, misrepresented, in foster care. Black Mothers forgot how to mother? Really???  Or did they just become expedient and accessible pawns in a tragic and systematic disregard for and destruction of the Black family? I’m Just Wonderin’…

Foster care is charged with doing what is in the best of the child and ultimately should be concerned with the continuity, stabilization and when appropriate, reunification of the family. Too often, such is not the case. For example, in New York City where 66% of the population is White, fewer than 4% of the children in foster care are White. How can that be? Sadly, NYC is no exception. As our children go from foster care to prison care, no one seems to care that this is a national problem. So just when did Black Mothers lose this enviable skill and become such incompetent caregivers? I’m Just Askin’…

In law school I took a class on Child Abuse and Neglect. The professor was a former attorney handling child “welfare” cases for the state. In that role she legitimatized the removal of countless children from their homes and of course supported such state action in her teaching. I remember explaining to her that in order for me to accept the validity of her arguments and the statistics as reported regarding the overwhelming numbers of Black children in foster care would require that I also accept the validity of the innuendo that despite raising every body else’s children, Black women are now innately incapable of being good Mothers and raising their own children… REALLY??? I will not, cannot accept any such premise… 

Conversely I KNOW that we are truly amazing and resilient people and that we have been through some stuff! AND STILL WE STAND! So thank you again Dr. Ladner for sharing your Truth! 

On another note, ever wonder how the very rich, very famous Ms Paula Deen might have “learned” to cook soul food so well? I'm Just Askin'... 
Good "Help" is still hard to find and the beat goes on...


Check out Dr. Ladner's post at the link below.
http://theladnerreportblog.blogspot.com/2011/08/no-thanks-kathryn-stockett-i-dont-want.html