What To The Black American Is Thanksgiving?

In the spirit of our dear Brotha' Frederick Douglass' ponderance of the meaning of The 4th of July to the Negro, I ask, What to the Black American is the meaning of Thanksgiving? 

Certainly, Thanksgiving is not a day recanting any version of the fantastic tales taught to us in grammar school about tall ships, "nice" pilgrims, and a happy feast. Three bean casseroles and pumpkin pies typically do not grace our tables.

Instead, Thanksgiving, as other American holidays, represents a source of moral conflict for our community. It further demonstates gross distinctions or disparities of experience, judgment, and interpretation between our community and that of the dominant community. Our Brotha' Kendrick summed it up in four words...

Given our history of being kidnapped, enslaved, raped, and tortured, in the same country by the same people, Black Americans cannot, in good conscience, eat, be merry, and ignore the kidnapping, enslavement, and other acts of sheer torture, leading to the ultimate erasure of another people, melanated like us. We share too much of the Native American's American experience, and in some cases their blood, for us to be indifferent or insensitive to harms done to them. They are our tribe. They are our Brothers...

So, what to the Black American does Thanksgiving mean? Our conflict with celebration of this day is so intense that even how we reference it varies. Of course, most people still call it Thanksgiving. Others, however, call it "Thanks Giving Day", "Giving Thanks Day", "Misgiving Day" or some variation thereof. Ultimately, we struggle with giving any impression that we share the commonly held disingenuous interpretation of the day.

Thanksgiving is seen as an annual time of gathering of reflection and perspective for Black families. Traditionally, we travel from near and far to get together to enjoy good food, good company, and good vibrations as we create new memories. Most families go all out with the meal on this day. Be forewarned that if you can't "put your foot in it", it is best that you don't cook on this day. No one can save you from the wrath. Bring beverages or paper products, plan to join the clean up crew, enjoy the day, just don't cook! Hone your skills at the hem of Big Mama's apron for next year. 

The smorgasbord of food is insane! Mr. Turkey still holds the main stage but he has company. Rarely, is there only one meat. Mr. Ham has a place atop many tables. Collard greens, cabbage, candied yams, mac with several cheeses, dressing, not stuffing, and cornbread are just a few of the main staples. The pie of choice is not pumpkin or even apple. The day is not complete without a sweet potato pie. Diet and gym be damned! Most folks eat themselves into a state of pure coma, a condition we affectionately call, "itus". Goodnight... 

As is probably common in most households, someone "blesses the food and the hands that prepared it", but also, before we eat, we tend to go around the table soliciting words of thanks and expressions of gratitude from each person for something, someone, or some event in their life during the past year. It is a day of refelection steeped in handed down tradition. 

A mixture of music and football competing with lively conversations is the soundtrack of the day. Carry out plates are a given. Some folks bring their take away containers. The myth is that the food tastes even better the next day. 

The fourth Thursday of November in the Black community is a day of family, friends, good times, new memories, and distraction from all else that might be amiss in the world. 

To the Black American, Thanksgiving means a day of love, reflection, gratitude, and appreciation. 

Miss Higgi Says, Happy Giving Thanks Day Everyone! 

My Forever Love...

 

She would have been 84 today. We were both teenagers in these pictures, roughly the same age having very different teenage experiences. I was very loved. I thank God for making her my Mom not long after this picture is taken. By 17, she is married and soon after the Mother of five stairstep children. She passed away at 45. I have outlived her lifespan by 20 years already. Life is so unpredictable. You just never know what your fate will be.

Death is more prevalent in my life now than I would prefer. Phone calls from distant or disconnected family members or friends, trigger me to brace for bad news. Recently, I signed into Facebook and within an hour, four people had posted notices of loved ones passing. It is inevitable, the longer we live, the more reality is our loss of loved ones. Somehow we learn to live with the loss but it creates a void in us that is never quite filled, especially if the person was a good person. My Mother was a good person. Not only as a Mother, but as a friend, a sister, a neighbor, a daughter. She was just a kind, loving, giving, all around good person. 

I wake up today on November 25th, as I do many mornings, with my Mother on my mind and I wonder what she would be like all these years later. How different would my life be if she was still here? Things I will never know... She was my rock, my forever inspiration, my loudest, unapologetic, and most boastful, cheerleader. She was my Mother and my friend. 

I cannot imagine life with a bad Mom. I feel for those who unfortunately didn't have good relationships with their Mother. I didn't have a good relationship with my father, so I kind of understand. I will never know what it's like to be a Daddy's Girl and I do not undermine the joy and value of that relationship at all. I actually envy it, as it, too, is a void in my life. Still, there seems something different about not having the love of your Mom, the person who gave you life. I just cannot imagine...

Today would have been my Mom's 84th birthday. I wish her a happy birthday wherever her spirit might be, it certainly continues to live within me.

Call your Mama today. Call her because you can and because you don't know what tomorrow brings. If you can't call your own Mama, call somebody else's Mama who has been a positive influence in your life or a matriarch who will be uplifted by the mere sound of your voice. It's the little things. Truly, it is...

Happy Birthday Mommy! Your FOREVER Daughter will love you ALWAYS and FOREVER MORE!!! 🫶🏿

When The 99% Speaks, The 1% Hears

Someone posted this incindiary photo of the twin towers on a social media page specifically to trigger a reaction. Below is my reaction.

I lived in New York City and worked at Kennedy Airport on 9/11. There was definitely an effort to make all Muslims culpable for tragedies of that day. 

I remember going home after work to the Briarwood section in Queens which was very Jewish. My neighbor was an Arab man. The Muslim community had been signaled to stay out of sight for the day, the week, for the immediate future I suppose. There were concerns of retaliation. By who? Certainly not Black folks. I'm just sayin'...

My neighbor, not only did he not stay out of sight, he dressed from head to foot in Muslim garb, sat a chair in his driveway, and defiantly sat there for all the world to see that he was not afraid. He was not taking responsibility or hiding in shame for something he did not do. It made me uneasy because I thought people are just crazy right now, but I always respected that he stood his ground and refused to cower. 

I can only imagine how proud and vindicated he and others of the Muslim community must be following this major victory of an unapologetic Muslim who was supported by all sectors of New York City community. How I wish I lived there to have been able to cast my vote for Mr. Mamdani. 

On Tuesday, we had a collective victory from NYC to California, coast to coast, that Americans needed to see, but also the world needed to see. We are not all sleep. We are not all stupid. We are not all mesmerized with or fearful of the likes of DT and all the hate that he and his klan instigate. It was a beautiful night! 

New York City will be just fine and once again, they rise as the leader. Thank you New Yorkers! This is what unity in the community looks like. 

The 99% has spoken! The 1% heard us. What will be the[ir] wrath? 

Stay focused. 

Stay united! 

Congratulations America!

The People’s House...

I remember some years back being in London at Buckingham Palace and thinking that there was nothing majestic nor spectacular about the royal palace beyond the pomp and circumstance of changing of the guard and of course, it's historical value. I was struck that it was an unattractive building. 

Some years later, while in Australia, I shared my sentiment with a British guy I met. He laughed and matched my disappointment of his visit to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He said, "Are you kidding? The White House is just a house!". He went on to say that  normal people had houses bigger and better than the White House. To which we both laughed, as I conceded his point. 

Actually, there is nothing cosmetically spectacular about either of these edifices other than the history and nostalgia associated with them both. History and nostalgia that matters. History and nostalgia worth preserving. But both buildings are visually unremarkable. 

Nonetheless, I find myself unexpectedly affected by the demolition of the White House without consultation, input from, or warning to, We the People who would have undoubtedly rejected such an action we were assured was not going to happen. Once again, we were deceived.

It seems amazing however, that the White House was not protected as a landmark under an act of historic preservation. Not that it would have much mattered. This administration operates with no regard for rules, of law or otherwise. It is truly a sad day in America. 

It comes as no surprise that this demolition was conveniently and strategically delayed until after No Kings Day. The seven million protesters we saw gather in all 50 states on October 18, 2025, would have doubled in numbers. This is the very type of violation of public trust that will serve to awaken and prayerfully, unite Americans. This is good.

The White House is thought to be The People’s House. We The People did not ask for renovations, nor do we desire a ballroom.

I do not consider myself patriotic in any way. Again, however, I was affected by the desecration of the White House. Visualization of the demolition of the White House, is a symbolic visualization of the current demolition of the United States government, the country, life and basic American freedoms We The People have come to know, love, expect, and take for granted. Where and how does this end? 

So, tell me again, WHO hates America? I'm listening...

On the 4th...

A few weeks ago, someone I did not know emailed me regarding comments I'd made about her good friend, Omarosa. She thought my comments were negative and that, as a Black woman, I should not make negative comments about another Black woman, especially given my BW platform.

I applauded her on being a good friend to Omarosa and tried to leave it at that. Quite honestly, if one is going to defend Omarosa against things that people say about her, they are going to be quite busy. She was not a popular person in the Black community during her time with trump. That has not changed since her departure from the administration.

That being said, and in light of Congress, passing that god awful bill yesterday just in time for Independence Day, which is today, it leaves me to remember her telling us that we would all "bow down to donald". Did she know something that we didn't know and is that what is about to happen here in the United States now that the legislators and the courts have conceded their authority to the executive branch?

It is one thing to betray your constituents, it is quite another to render yourself and your role irrelevant. The epitome of stupidity... 🤦🏾

We know that this administration has a penchant for dramatics the likes of reality TV sensation. How will that play out today on Independence Day?

Will there be some declaration that we are no longer a nation of personal freedoms, that we have lost our rights as an independent, free thinking nation? Will Omarosa be proven right in that we will bow down and kiss the ring of the don? I remember during his first trip around the white house, him saying that he wanted "his people" to respond to him like the citizens respond to the leader in North Korea.  In other words, he wants us to fear him. 👀  👀

So what will happen today? Who knows? 🤷🏾 We are navigating unchartered terrain, totally unfamiliar and unprecedented. These are unpredictable times in which we find ourselves. Hold on folks for what promises to be a rocky ride. Who will save us? We will save us. Nobody can do it better than ourselves. But what does that look like? Good question. The answer, however, is yet to be determined. God help us... 🙏🏾

What is it that our dear and revered Ancestor Frederick Douglas questioned about the 4th of July? What to the Slave is the 4th of July? The question still remains. For today, in the words of our current Griot, Kendrick Lamar,  "turn the TV off, turn the TV off", and enjoy your time with friends and family.

~ Miss Higgi

Omarosa video 

https://youtu.be/03cmSdHD4-k?si=KDj8Y7HhH59B8GNF

James Earl Jones reading Frederick Douglas' famous speech regarding 4th of July

https://youtu.be/WtfZBV0aJ3M?si=fv2Op5QAwOYX7zlD 

The Diddy Verdict

No surprise here. Another OJ situation. The prosecution made claims they could not support. P Diddy is a shitty guy. We get that. But they did not prove racketeering or sex trafficking. Thankfully, the jury took their job seriously and understood the assignment before them...

Now let's watch America have a meltdown because the Black guy wasn't found guilty...

The prosecution overstepped. Yes, what P Diddy did was horrible, but the statute of limitations had passed on those things that they could have effectively charged him with. So they went for outrageous charges of racketeering and sex trafficking and tried to sway the public with his despicable and vile behaviors.

Like OJ, he was a Black man who could afford to buy justice. They couldn't support the charges, plain and simple...

No, I don't support Diddy, or anybody who commits sex crimes, domestic violence, or any kind of violation of others, but less than that, I don't support that Black men become the face of sexual deviance in Hollywood.

Spending While Black

 

I remember so well back in the 90s or early 2000s I was on Girlz' Trip to Atlanta. Someone decided that we should do breakfast at this popular eating spot that welcomed it's guests with a back wall covered by the largest and most obscene confederate flag I am sure I've ever seen.

I don't remember how many were in our group but I was the only one who refused to eat there. I could not conceive how one did not receive sight of that defeated flag as a sign of disrespect, confirmation of their anti-Black racism and proof that they did not want our Black business. I heard them....

Sadly, the bulk of patrons at this eating establishment were overwhelmingly Black 😔. I don't recall the name of the place, because I would surely state it. I wonder if it still exists. I wonder if the flag is still there. I wonder if Black still support this blatant disregard abd disrespect of us...

WWYD? Would you eat in such an establishment? We are learning to be more discriminating in where and with whom we spend our dollars proving that when we know better, we do better. When and wherever you can, buy Black! Surely, in places like Atlanta, still strong with significant Black communities, we can...

When folks show you who they are, believe them and respond accordingly. #BuyBlack! 

Standing in Solidarity with The Sanders

So what are we missing? A blind man can see what is happening in the deliberate delayed or non-drafting of Shedeur Sanders by the NFL

Deion is a confident Black man who is an excellent Father who has raised his sons in his image. They, too, are confident Black men. What scares America more than confident, self reliant, Black folks, Black Men especially? Nothing!

This public rejection of Shedeur is about so much more than football. The messaging is an age old message intended to be heard and internalized by folks far beyond the Sanders family. 

This public flogging of Shedeur, Deion by extension, smacks of America's history of making sure Black folks, Black men especially, know and are kept in our place. 

This rejection of Shedeur smacks of America's history of promoting that Black men, the backbone of football, are not smart or strategic enough to be coach or quarterback. WHO is running this country? WHAT is their overall mission? WHO is their ultimate target in their relentless pursuit to return America to her previous state of "glory"?

Is not this situation reminiscent of the public humiliation and rejection of Colin Kaepernick? WHO was behind the obvious collusive efforts of the owners to make sure that never again will Colin play? So do you still think it a coincidence what we see happening to the Sanders Family? 

NONE of this is by accident. There is little this country enjoys more than tearing down Black men. While this is awful, Deion is a strong and strategic Black man. His very being is the source of ire for small and racist minds. He and his sons will be OK. They will come back strong. They are built for this...

Black folks, love Deion or hate him, do not join this bandwagon of hate against him and his children. See the larger picture and don't support the double standard applied only to us, by which we are judged and expected to quietly abide. Don’t be the crab pulling a successful Black family back into the barrel. 

As any good Father should, Deion nurtured and guided the talent of his children. Were he not Black, it would not be a problem. His confidence would not be labeled or condemned as arrogant. Conversely, it would be expected and celebrated along with the confidence of the children he raised. 

Black folks don’t be the voice or provide the convenient Black face of deflection being used solely to represent an excuse for anti-Black racist sentiment and the messaging of others. Don’t do the[ir] dirty work. Stand in unity rejecting the double standard. Support the Sanders! 

Keep your head up Shedeur! Don't let them break you. You are built for this AND we've got your back!

Black folks, let's get 'Black to the Basics', recreate and support our own sports leagues. Stand in Solidarity! IJS... 

~ Miss Higgi 

What Does Racism Mean?

This is my response to a general inquiry made by someone on a social media platform, what does racism mean to you?:

I find myself being intentional not about racism, but anti-Black racism specifically. Racism in America begins with anti-Black racism yet somehow, I'm being facetious, discussion of the Black experience in terms of acts of racism has been swallowed up in use of terms such as racism in general, multiculturalism, POC, diversity and now certainly DEI. 

Use of these other terms allow that we conveniently avoid conversations about anti-Black racism specifically. It is my hope that use of the term anti-Black racism becomes as common as anti-semitism and practice of such becomes regarded in equal contempt.

When we hear anti-semitism, we know it is in specific reference to the treatment of people of Jewish faith. When we hear racism, we're not so clear on who we're talking about. I want us to be specific on who we were talking about. 

As a Black person, I want us to clearly name the experience and effect of racism on Black people. But for us, is this even a conversation? Call us by our name when the subject is us. Stop running from talk of America's sin, Anti-Black racism. Sit in it. Be uncomfortable in it. Be honest about what it is. Make people look at themselves and fully understand who and what is the target of their disdain, sometimes their hate...

They Have Joined The Ancestors

 

We lost some real treasures in our community in 2024. 

They came, they did the work, and  have now joined The Ancestors. May they rest in eternal peace...:

🙏🏾 Frankie Beverly
🙏🏾 Nikki Giovanni
🙏🏾 Greg Gumble
🙏🏾 Willie Mays
🙏🏾 Judith Jamison
🙏🏾 OJ Simpson
🙏🏾 Quincy Jones
🙏🏾 James Earl Jones
🙏🏾 Lou Gossett, Jr.
🙏🏾 Sheila Jackson Lee
🙏🏾 Donald Payne, Jr.
🙏🏾 John Amos
🙏🏾 Tito Jackson
🙏🏾 Cissy Houston
🙏🏾 Sandra Crouch 
🙏🏾 Angela Bofill
🙏🏾 Marian Robinson
🙏🏾 Carl Weathers
🙏🏾 Faith Ringgold
🙏🏾 Mandisa
🙏🏾 Wallace "Wally" Amos
🙏🏾 Abdul "Duke" Fakir (Four Tops)
🙏🏾 Dikembe Mutombo
🙏🏾 Rev. Cecil "Chip" L. Murray
🙏🏾 Joe Madison
🙏🏾 Dorie Ladner
🙏🏾 Dexter Scott King
🙏🏾 Bill Strickland
🙏🏾 Rev. James L. Lawson
🙏🏾 Ralph Kennedy Frasier
🙏🏾 Marlena Shaw
🙏🏾 Reggie Wells
🙏🏾 Hydeia Broadbent
🙏🏾 Bill Cobbs
🙏🏾 Wanda Smith                                                                                                                        🙏🏾 Alfa Anderson                                                                                                       🙏🏾 Richard Parsons                                                                                                                 🙏🏾 Saafir

If I missed anyone, please do share.

Welcoming In The New...

 

Well, 2024, as tumultuous as it was, is behind us. We can only look forward to 2025 with optimism, albeit cautious optimism, but optimism nonetheless. Our approach must be fearless, confident, and all knowing that we have overcome many things before, and that whatever our concerns, they, too, shall pass.

When I think of that for which I am most grateful in 2024, it is without doubt, that my sister survived a terrifying stroke. Talk about a will to survive... Thank You God and for the support of all my friends who saw me through it.🙏🏾

I am grateful to have survived surgery. Special thanks to my long time Sistah' girlfriend, Roboid Covington, who dropped everything and came to care for the horribly "incorrigible" patient (inside joke). Love you girl!!!

One of my many life mottos is, "Some people do drugs, I do airplanes". I am grateful to have had opportunities to travel in 2024, especially to Cuba. What an experience! We are a valiant people. Survival is in our DNA. Thanks to Reset Tours, for making that happen and all those who traveled with us.

On another travel note, I am grateful, too, for being able to once again hit the road for another of my infamous southern treks. Long distance driving is free therapy and has always been a favorite pastime. As a Boomer',  I am happy to still be able to do it. Give me some good R&B, good weather, open and clear highway, I'm in heaven and likely to show up on your doorstep, near or far! In September, I drove almost 3000 miles between Florida and DC and several stops in between, clearing my head, being rejuvenated, and spending time with friends, after making a definitive and necessary decision in my professional life. Know when to fold em', it is truly  gratifying and validating. Don't allow folks to define you or to disturb your peace...

I am grateful for masterminding and realizing success with three new friends who share my passion for giving voice and presence to all in the workplace. Together, we hosted, for a standing room only audience, a much needed discussion about Working While Black. Talk about a unnecessary conversation, this was it. It was affirming not only for us as hostesses who provided space for the necessary conversation, but more importantly for the more than 300 people who needed and attended this necessary conversation on November 6, 2024... Our speaker satisfaction rate was an all-time high of 98%! Yes, we are proud of ourselves and look forward to hosting more of these and other conversations about the workplace.

In 2024, I launched a consulting firm focused on helping HR and leadership executives evaluate and enhance organizational culture, H Squared Solutions. Please recommend and contact me for executive coaching, training, or employee focused workshops vested in helping your organization to create and realize healthy, equitable, inclusive, and harmonious work environments. It ain't rocket science folks, it truly is all about the culture! Let me help you to see what you have, and to build what you want...

I am grateful for realizing almost five years of holding space, some affectionately call it "holding church", for Black Women on Sunday afternoons. Since the pandemic in March 2020, When Black Women Gather, LLC (WBWG) has provided a sanctuary where Black Women from all walks of life, from around the globe, gather online, sometimes with others, mostly just us, to discuss a multitude of topics relevant to Black Women. We intentionally gather to celebrate, honor, and uplift one another.

WBWG has 163 online gatherings under our belt, most are available to view at my Miss Higgi YouTube channel. Check it out and while there, please subscribe. We have traveled together, domestically and internationally, Jamaica, here we come, Jan 2025! We gathered at the range to sharpen our shooting skills. Don't look for me to save you, I was horrible!

WBWG has an active Facebook page with more than 8,500 members. We have a very lively Google Group where women post information relevant to and about the Black community and sometimes we engage in what can become very fiery, sometimes heated, but always respectful, conversations.

In 2024, WBWG launched a weekly mindfulness activity held online on Wednesday/Hump Day mornings at 6am. Let me know Black Women, if you want to lead a 15-20 minute session. And finally, we launched an online store! Please support us with a  purchase by visiting, WBWG Shop at www.whenblackwomengather.org. I love what we have created! Black Women are invited to join. We welcome you to our AMAZING...

I am focused on, and grateful for, the good in 2024, good health, family, the very best of friends, and for being blessed to have the basic necessities of life. I am guided by the principles of "Do Unto Others", Teach and treat folks the way you want to be treated, and living life with a full understanding of and appreciation for, "But for the grace of God, there go I"...

I am happy to be alive and CHOOSING to thrive in 2025!

Miss Higgi Says, Happy New Year Everyone!