I Love My Fro'!

I just have to say that as much as we try to tell ourselves otherwise, our hair is our crown and our glory. Our hair does make a political statement, a social statement, a statement about how we see and regard ourselves. The natural state of our natural hair screams Black pride!

Our hair is saying something even when we're not aware or not trying to say a word...

Lately, I've been rockin' my fro', which I love, but I do tie up every now and then to embrace braids and to give myself and it, a break.  But there's nothing like when I wear my fro' and see the response that it evokes even from, especially from, my own people.

I was in Costco and I heard a young woman tell the person that she was with, "Oh my God!, I love her hair"!

Tonight I walked in my classroom and I heard one Black female student, who is a little older, say to the other, "Oh My God! Look at her hair! I knew she was gonna' wear her hair". They saw a glimpse of my hair last week when they took their midterm online. Tonight was the first time seeing it live and in person. Previously, they had only known me to have braids. Of course I pretend not to have heard them and left them to their moment of pride. I want to at least wink at them but I dare not. Teacher poker face...

One of my favorite student stories however is from a Black female student at another PWI in upstate NY.  She loves to tell of the Black professor with the white sounding sir name who showed up for the first night of class in a daishiki, sporting a fro' and how from then on, she vowed I would be her mentor for life. She is now a married woman and Mother to two and still very special to me.

Conversely, I remember a Black Woman admiring my fro telling me I was brave to wear it. Brave? OK...

I share that to say, it is our hair and if it talks to us, in a language of love and pride, a forbidden state for Black folks in America, what must it say to insecure others who have made it their mission in life to instill self doubt and self hate in all things Black? We are supposed to hate our image, our swag, our very selves. It is expected that we live and die for white acceptance, affirmation and approval. My hair says that I validate me!

It must incense those others when we dare embrace not only our hair but our very being and so many other attributes natural to only us.

So Ladies, rock your fro', wear your braids, tell stories with your cornrows, mystify with your locs, bedazzle with your twists, whatever is your desire, just wear it, your hair, proudly and unapologetically!
It is ours.
It is regal.
And no one can take it from us!

If I am to be honest, I do feel some kinda' way when I wear my fro'. I know many eyes are on me, positive and negative. I do wear it some times to some places to make a statement. Yeah, I do...

I feel proud when I wear my fro'.
I feel invincible. I feel the eyes and sometimes the envy of many.

Most of all, I feel beautiful and confident and proud when I wear my fro! I love my fro! Oh yes I do!!!

The 4th Thursday

Now here's a dinner invitation the guests probably regret not declining. I'm Just Guessin'...

As we kick off the 2021 holiday season, enjoy your time tomorrow, the 4th Thursday of November, with your loved ones, "just because", not in any way celebratory or in observance of any part of the intended meaning or purpose of the "holiday". 

Thanksgiving is a day of white washed history wherein Americans celebrate mass massacre and theft of land from kind, gracious Native American people who welcomed foreigners happening upon their land and who forever disturbed their peace in the most unimaginable way.

Not satisfied, these very same "people" traveled to another continent far, far away, Africa. Again, they were received warmly by kind and gracious people who welcomed them as foreigners to their land only to be robbed of their natural resources, to include their people, who were kidnapped, tortured, raped, deprived of culture, separated as families and enslaved for many centuries for the sole purpose of building a nation on land now stolen from America's indigenous people.

As you celebrate tomorrow or shop til' you drop on Friday, take a moment to consider this "festive" occasion as another reason America does not want the truth of her history to be told. If, around your dinner table, you do acknowledge Thanksgiving, as you rightfully acknowledge and give thanks for the people and the many blessings in your life, be sure to also say a prayer for Native Americans [and enslaved Africans] as you enlighten your family of what happened then, and what that "kill or be killed" spirit looks like today.

Enjoy this 4th Thursday in November with loved ones just because...

When The Going Gets Rough, Will You Be There?

As you may know by now, I have a few elders in my life who are especially special to me. I do what I can to bring them a dose of joy when I can be it a phone call, an unexpected gift, a card from me or requested be sent by you, my friends, to my special elder, a visit, whatever I can do to let them know they are special and thought of.

I am in DC right now visiting one of my special elder buds. I tried.last night to coax him out of the house with an invite to dinner. He wasn't up to it. It was a surprise visit. He didn't know I was coming so I took it in stride.

I was hungry so before going to the apartment, I took myself to dinner. When I got back he alluded to a few items he needed. I walked across the street to purchase them, along with some ice cream, he loves ice cream. We ate ice cream, watched TV and talked a bit before leaving him in his room, I thought to get some rest.

At 3am I hear his TV airing the same program that has been looping for hours now. I assume he is asleep. I went into his room to turn off the TV. Its 3am and he was not in his bed.

I didn't see him at first glance. He was seated in an obscure chair visible only when I walked further into the room. He was wide awake. When I asked why he was not in his bed, he responded, because he had been checking to be sure I hadn't left. How sad... I assured him I would not leave without telling him and convinced him to get in his bed.

A little while later his light was turned off as was his TV. I hate seeing him like this. I will come once per month to spend at least a little time with him. I have not said that to him because he will be anxious about it and preoccupied looking for me to come. Its just a commitment I have made to myself.

I look at my friend who I have known only to be a self assured, happy, vibrant, successful and confident man who thrived on giving to and helping others and I see a man who I imagine is lonely and afraid. The isolation of COVID exacerbated this I am sure. I look at my friend who is a widow, and I realize that many an elder was him, and that in time, I could be him.

Life is so unpredictable. We just don't know how we will land. Take good care of you, be good to others, its so much easier than the alternative, and please be deliberate in checking in on the elderly, the lonely, the sick and the shut in. This is when the true measure of friendship matters. Riding with folks in good times is effortless, its easy. Being there for them when they need you is a true measure of your character and your relationship with those you call "friend". Be there...