As you may know by now, I have a few elders in my life who are especially special to me. I do what I can to bring them a dose of joy when I can be it a phone call, an unexpected gift, a card from me or requested be sent by you, my friends, to my special elder, a visit, whatever I can do to let them know they are special and thought of.
I am in DC right now visiting one of my special elder buds. I tried.last night to coax him out of the house with an invite to dinner. He wasn't up to it. It was a surprise visit. He didn't know I was coming so I took it in stride.
I was hungry so before going to the apartment, I took myself to dinner. When I got back he alluded to a few items he needed. I walked across the street to purchase them, along with some ice cream, he loves ice cream. We ate ice cream, watched TV and talked a bit before leaving him in his room, I thought to get some rest.
At 3am I hear his TV airing the same program that has been looping for hours now. I assume he is asleep. I went into his room to turn off the TV. Its 3am and he was not in his bed.
I didn't see him at first glance. He was seated in an obscure chair visible only when I walked further into the room. He was wide awake. When I asked why he was not in his bed, he responded, because he had been checking to be sure I hadn't left. How sad... I assured him I would not leave without telling him and convinced him to get in his bed.
A little while later his light was turned off as was his TV. I hate seeing him like this. I will come once per month to spend at least a little time with him. I have not said that to him because he will be anxious about it and preoccupied looking for me to come. Its just a commitment I have made to myself.
I look at my friend who I have known only to be a self assured, happy, vibrant, successful and confident man who thrived on giving to and helping others and I see a man who I imagine is lonely and afraid. The isolation of COVID exacerbated this I am sure. I look at my friend who is a widow, and I realize that many an elder was him, and that in time, I could be him.
Life is so unpredictable. We just don't know how we will land. Take good care of you, be good to others, its so much easier than the alternative, and please be deliberate in checking in on the elderly, the lonely, the sick and the shut in. This is when the true measure of friendship matters. Riding with folks in good times is effortless, its easy. Being there for them when they need you is a true measure of your character and your relationship with those you call "friend". Be there...
I didn't see him at first glance. He was seated in an obscure chair visible only when I walked further into the room. He was wide awake. When I asked why he was not in his bed, he responded, because he had been checking to be sure I hadn't left. How sad... I assured him I would not leave without telling him and convinced him to get in his bed.
A little while later his light was turned off as was his TV. I hate seeing him like this. I will come once per month to spend at least a little time with him. I have not said that to him because he will be anxious about it and preoccupied looking for me to come. Its just a commitment I have made to myself.
I look at my friend who I have known only to be a self assured, happy, vibrant, successful and confident man who thrived on giving to and helping others and I see a man who I imagine is lonely and afraid. The isolation of COVID exacerbated this I am sure. I look at my friend who is a widow, and I realize that many an elder was him, and that in time, I could be him.
Life is so unpredictable. We just don't know how we will land. Take good care of you, be good to others, its so much easier than the alternative, and please be deliberate in checking in on the elderly, the lonely, the sick and the shut in. This is when the true measure of friendship matters. Riding with folks in good times is effortless, its easy. Being there for them when they need you is a true measure of your character and your relationship with those you call "friend". Be there...
Thank you Miss Higgi for sharing this story and the encouragement to be of support. As we age, we see so many around us in need of love, care and support. And yes, we need to step up where we can, and do what we can, while we can. God bless you as you bless others.
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