Reject The Double Standard, You Are Enough...

While I understand that Black folks have been indoctrinated to internalize the message that we "must be twice as good to get half as much" as a mean of survival, I reject the notion that I need to be twice as good, do ten times more, or suppress myself simply to fit in or be palatable to the taste buds of someone whose palate has been trained to not appreciate the flavor of me on their best day. If someone doesn't appreciate you as an appetizer (the interview) or vice versa, their flavor seems not to blend with yours, trust your instinct, don't stay for dinner (accept the job). Politely excuse yourself as you get up from the table where the in between courses and dessert promise not be tasty...

Black folks suffer disproportionately from stress related medical disorders. We spend more time at work than almost any place else. When we internalize other people's insecurities or judgements about us, or prioritize the comfort level of others over our own comfort level or well-being, we essentially concede to a double standard that says we accept some unspoken station in life that tells us that we are "less" or just not quite good enough. In our internalization of this double standard, Black folks limit and pose tremendous harm to ourselves as we suffer killing ourselves slowly trying to demonstrate or prove to others that we are more, or somehow, that we are good enough. To what end? Most times we exceed the standard of "good" and have credentials and experience that says we more than enough.

Stop with the code switching intended to make your chair fit at a table where upon first bite, you sense that the meal is not tasteful to your palate. If you decide, because it is your choice too, to accept a seat at the table (take the job), be compelled to do your job as well as does your co-worker who is often excelling in mediocrity and who sometimes is your supervisor. Sigh... That's a whole other story...

Yes, commit to your survival, but first be true to yourself. Your mental health, your physical health, your longevity, and those who love, appreciate, and value you and your presence, depend on you protecting and putting yourself first.

In the words of Maya Angelou, we teach folks how to treat us. It is time we start teaching others, but more importantly, ourselves, another lesson...

No job, no paycheck, no title, is worth your life, your health, or your peace of mind. Instead of "knowing your place" at work, or in life in general, claim your place and your peace while standing firmly in your truth and your authenticity. To do otherwise, is to dishonor yourself and sends a dangerous message that says the treatment of you is OK, or worse, that you are OK, when often, neither is true. Do not suffer in silence rendering yourself complicit in your own demise. Instead, find, claim, and protect your peace in defiant rejection of any semblance of acceptance of the double standard...

~ Miss Higgi