Cynically Hopeful

Having lost my Mother to breast cancer almost 40 years ago (1987) at the tender age of 26, she was only 45, and still there being no cure despite zillions of dollars being raised, I am numb to wearing pink and joining the annual October breast cancer frenzy. Please don't invite me. I am admittedly a cynic who believes that in a capitalistic society, there is little incentive for a cure as there is less money, fewer capital gains, in a cure...

No matter, breast cancer is real and Black Women are reportedly disproportionately affected. Recently, I even lost a Black male friend to breast cancer. Like it or not, the disease is real and poses a serious threat to our community. 

Be it October or any other month, please be proactive and be sure to get your annual mammogram. Request an accompanying ultrasound if you have a history. Ultrasounds seem automatic in some other countries. While in Panama a few years back, I paid a whopping $40 for a mammogram with an ultrasound. I did not request the ultrasound, it was standard procedure notwithstanding one's history. Good luck even seeing the doctor for $40 in the US. Yes, I'm a cynic... 

Between annual mammograms, actively conduct self exams. Be assertive with your doctors. Educate yourself and be knowledgeable about your condition, or detection thereof. Don't shy away from getting second, or even third opinions. Be open to exploring non-traditional approaches. Tell your doctor to treat you medically as s/he would treat their own Mom. We know that we are seen in the medical field as less human, and more dispensible. 

Unapologetically advocate for you and your loved ones. If she is too tired or overwhelmed, do it for her. If not you, who? Daughters, be prepared to do a role reversal. Mom will thank you later.

Most important, be a source of support to all women dealing with the reality of the disease. I have a very dear friend on this journey right now... Loan your Sis a shoulder, be her sounding board, allow her tears to flow, catch them and then build her up because despite there still being no cure, there have been advances in treatment and survival is not as elusive as it was in 1987. I am a hopeful cynic...

Breast cancer awareness is important year round. Be aware and take care of you from October thru September!

Miss Higgi Says 

Edited repost: October 25, 2023

Vote Black People, Vote!

The video, click here or see below, showing an elderly Democratic female voter in Georgia explaining why she voted for Senator Jon Ossoff, a white male candidate, and not Keisha Bottoms, the Black female gubernatorial candidate. They, like her, are both Democrats. She voted for the white male republican gubernatorial candidate who vows that he will "govern like trump" and be trump's "favorite governor"... 

This woman's sentiments, even thise not verbally expressed, demonstrate why Black folks, especially Black women, are disengaged from these protests and all other acts of political disruption being led by people who claim they are just outraged and demand change. They don't want change. They are very comfortable with status quo, betting on what and who they know even to their detriment. 

Not only do they know the white man, even when he is donald trump, they also know that they're not trying to help Black women specifically, succeed or achieve, certainly not before them, to include our white woman "allies". 

Black women are to ride the bus, not drive the bus. She is meant to be seen in the rear-view mirror...

I will never forget in law school reading about the white women feminists who were so upset that their white brother was going to give the Black man the right to vote before her. They said horrible things about my brother which only confirmed for me why I am not, and have never been, a feminist. I knew that I wasn't a feminist before that day in Constitution Law, but why I am not a feminist was confirmed after reading the words of those feminists.

These people will not overwhelmingly vote for a Black woman and many are probably not going to vote for a Muslim man either no matter what they say and do publicly. Keisha Bottoms, Angie Nixon, and Abdul El-Sayed are not shoo-ins for their elections and they should be. Vote, Black People, Vote!

Even the establisment, old guard, Democrats are still angry that Mamdani won in New York City against their wishes. He did not kiss the ring. He and Angie Nixon are Democrats who won tough primaries, as per the will of the people, but still deserved party support evaded them, financially and otherwise. The extreme right slept on the possibility of Barack Obama but they are awake now. They're angry and they vote. Enter, donald trump...

White women will agree with everything these candidates say, know that a vote for him or her is in her best interest, get on TV or social media and say all the right things in support of the candidate, but she will get in that booth and vote for the person who she will later complain oppresses her. Remember, she birthed, raised, and sleeps with said person. He is familiar to her. He is her. She will continue to vote for and be complicit in his oppression of her, as she promises to show up as our sister in the struggle...

The first time I saw this play out first-hand was when I moved to Virginia in the late 80s and campaigned for Doug Wilder, the first Black governor of Virginia. We knew when we went home on election night who had won on the ticket from the lieutenant governor down. What we did not know was who had won the gubernatorial seat. 

What that said to me, essentially as a neophyte in politics, was that Democrats went in that booth, they didn't vote for the republican candidate or go against their party, but they didn't vote for the Black guy either. It was quite a telling lesson to learn for a young person just actively getting involved in politics but the lesson never left me. 

When we went to Governor Wilder's inauguration in Richmond, I remember that some people were so upset that he'd won and/or that Black folks were so happy and celebrating the victory, some of them actually came to the hotel we stayed at and cut tires on cars. That was 1989, this is 2026...

This is America y'all. It always has been and it always will be, which explains the tolerance of donald trump, he is white and he is male. No matter how incompetent, corrupt, or grotesque, they know him. He is in their tribe. Many will protect and excuse him even when he brings harm to them and the rest of the tribe...

Don't stay home relying on other folks to do it for or with you, get out there and Vote, Black People, Vote! Your vote is powerful and it matters which is why some folks will stop at nothing to diminish or deny your right to exercise it. 

12 Days until midterm elections. Vote early and take someone with you! 

~ Miss Higgi Says 

The video: https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1DNUrpLkQo/

She's Not A Lawyer

 

trump's new press secretary has gotten caught with her pants down in her claim that she is an attorney. As she has not passed the bar, she is not an attorney, not even in China as she has also presumably claimed.

When I was a student at Howard University, I had a brilliant professor. She holds four impressive degrees including a JD. She has it all. So when I failed the bar the first time I was devastated and of course, I sought her out for comfort. That's the beauty of attending an HBCU, the ties are strong, always available, and never broken, they are for life! So, of course I reached out for encouragement. 

I had failed only by a few points which made it just that much more devastating because I've got to do this shit all over again for maybe three points, I don't remember exactly, but it was miniscule. 

So, when I called my brilliant professor, I couldn't believe my ears when she told me that she, too, had failed it the first time. After processing the shock of her admission, I felt less ashamed, and less critical of myself. I appreciated her being forthright and felt consoled knowing that I was in good company. 

My professor went on to tell me the only person who never passes the bar is the person who stops taking it. She told me to take it again. I heeded her advice, took the bar exam again, and rode that horse right across the finish line to victory. 

Failing the bar, however, was a humbling experience because it is so very public. Everyone who goes to law school is thought to be "smart", if for no other reason, because you got in. It doesn't help that law school culture feeds this stereotype. 

Wallowing in embarrassment and self-pity, one can easily lose sight of the significant accomplishment of having survived law school and forget that you are smart and capable. Now you have to contend with everyone knowing you did not pass the bar, your law shool professors and colleagues, your family, friends, and all too happy enemies, and anyone else who wants or needs to know. Membership in the bar is public information and all too easy to access which makes it even more bizarre that this woman would not be forthcoming about not passing.

I never did pass the Pennsylvania Bar, however, which was the one I really wanted. Taking the bar is an exhausting experience. You have to really want to do it. I guess I didn't really want to do it...

Sometimes I admonish myself in self-talk that until I actively engage in the practice of law, I shouldn't allow me to call myself an attorney, figuratively because literally, of course, I'm an attorney and have the bar number to prove it. I beat myself up because I truly believe that not practicing is a disservice to my community, not to mention to myself because I'm still paying for this shit. But my community needs people like me to vigorously practice law and I know that. 

This chick, however, makes me wear my Esquire badge even more boldly. Yes, I'm an attorney, practicing or not, I completed law school, passed that stupid ass bar exam, and I should not take those successes lightly.

It's amazing to me that so many people who have never taken a bar and who probably couldn't pass a bar if their life depended on it, sit in judgment of those who don't pass. That some of us respond, internalizing not passing as a failure that somehow negates or discounts that they've just completed three rigorous years of law school, which is no easy task, is sadly, also amazing. Block out the noise, which is probably mostly in your head, stand tall, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done, and take the exam again! 

I was so impressed to read in Michelle Obama's book that she had not passed the bar the first time (Becoming, p. 154). I had to read it again. With that admission, I was even more sold that our forever First Lady, is a strong and confident Black Woman. Society has taught lawyers, no matter our success, to not talk about not passing the bar. 

Passing the first time has ridiculously been equated to some status of honor. Law schools use first try passage results as a marketing tool. Lay people, who again, have never sat for a bar exam, will sometimes ask the question too, as if an attorney who had to take the bar more than once is somehow less competent or less qualified. Make that make sense...

The bar exam, as with most standardized tests, in no way predicts one's ability to apply the skill and perform the profession. The tests are often criticized for being culturally biased and some folks have been trained to test well. These exams were implemented as barriers to keep certain others out of said professions. The bar exam is intended to keep the practice of law white and male. Blacks nor women were welcome. 

trump's press secretary got ensnared in the net cast by men like him, her brethren, if you will. 

Until she passes the bar, according to the rules of her tribe, she cannot call herself an attorney. She simply holds the title of JD, which, by the way, is a very impressive title and degree that opens many doors affording one several distinctions of credibility. Deserved or not, one is stereotypically assumed to have a capacity for intellectual and mental stamina and the ability to think quickly, logically and critically in many subjects, even beyond the study of law. It's actually quite fascinating to witness.

Folks also get stuck on which law school did one attend, as if that matters. It's just another ridiculous qualifier that, at the end of the day, is less relevant than believed. You're a lawyer! Nobody much cares where you went to law school when you win their case. 

If you didn't pass the bar, take it again and again until you conquer that last hurdle in the game of becoming a lawyer but don't hold yourself out as an attorney unless and until you pass the bar.

This woman does not appear to be the sharpest knife in the drawer and she took one of the hardest bars. The California bar exam ain't no joke, ask kim kardashian who might consider attending law school first since passage credentials are not for sale, no matter the bidder. I digress... 

trump's new press secretary omitted a truth that is too easily discoverable, which makes her obviously incompetent, even at lying. So far, she's just another "dumb blonde" who will fit right in with the trump administration.

~ Miss Higgi Says