Final Words on Cosby...

I don't like that Cosby is treated differently than others who clearly have done the same and seemingly worse...

I don't like that all kinds of legal precedents were broken to bring his case. Shame on the DA for career building on Cosby's back and the judge who unsealed the deposition is scum! A legal precedent was set to capture Cosby that WILL be used in other matters. To hell with agreements! Why sign one if this can happen? Give back the money!!!

I don't like that the supposed victim has ZERO integrity. She entered into an agreement and the deal was done! She accepted $3.8M for the deal to be done. She should not have allowed gloria allred or a career hungry political climbing DA to convince her otherwise. SHE SHOULD have told him she needed to honor her agreement OR she should give the damn money back. Of course she won't... She will now make millions more as the face of the woman who took Cosby down. Her face... I will leave that right there...

I make ZERO excuses for anyone, man or woman, guilty of the accusations made against Mr. Cosby. I am a woman.... Dare I say that Cosby was a product of his time and if we are to crucify him, we've got a lot of crucifying, convicting and incarcerating to do. I will not accept a double standard for Black folks no matter how egregious our deed or that of which we are accused... Hugh Hefner died just in time because Lord knows all kinds of stuff happened in the PB Mansion, even one of Cosby's accusers. What were the Rat Pack if not celebrated womanizers? Were [white] women not burning their bras, defying their daddies, testing/tasting Mandingo, finding their liberation sexual and otherwise? Studio 54? Casting Couches??? I will suppose many people, men and women, did things during this period they now regret as they serve on high benches, star in big movies, occupy corporate offices, report the news of the Cosbys of the world, call themselves "feminist", Grandma or republican... I do not like that an example is being made of Cosby. As we see, he has lots of company. I am shocked by the acts I am hearing committed by him and other powerful men. I hear women chime in on making excuses for teenage boys who do this stuff and then we are supposed to wonder why their sons have grown up to be men who do this stuff...

I am sorry for the victims of Cosby and all others who have been violated sexually. I cannot imagine a more invasive act upon my body, my being, my soul. I can imagine no matter how many years go by, it must be a lingering, haunting image that occupies the mind's eye always... My heart goes out to ALL victims of sexual abuse, Black/White, Female/Male, Rich/Poor, Catholic or otherwise (where is/was the outrage? 60 victims would be a blessing). IJS...

Yes Cosby is as wrong as two left shoes if he violated even one woman but Hell No to the Double Standard no matter how loud the cheers are to annihilate the accused. Have the facts and be consistent in your outrage! Yes, his work should live on and I hope like hell, he defies the desires of all who want to see him die a broken man in prison and he instead lives on to see freedom again beyond the death sentence he has received for not only being a sexual deviant but also for being Black, male, rich and powerful all while being the face of morality... America takes delight in dismantling all such people. We shall not dance the happy dance with them until and/or unless they treat similarly situated White men/predators the same.

Meanwhile one convicted of engaging in potentially treasonous activities against the nation, to include virtuous White women, gets FOURTEEN days in the prison receiving unit. He will not see the inside of a prison in 14 days but let's hang Cosby! Go Figure...

Do Not Look Away...

Don't turn away, look at this photo of human chattel tied and bound to one another in the bowel of a ship for months. Existing, surely not living, in fear. Not knowing where they were going. Not knowing who were their captors. Not knowing why they were being kidnapped. Not knowing what could possibly be their dispute with these barbaric "people" who were stealing them from their own land, taking them to God knew where...

For months during the middle passage as these innocent people were bound to one another and could not move, women had periods, everyone defecated and urinated, folks surely got sick being force fed food that was foreign to them by their foreign terrorists whose foreign tongue they did not understand... Women AND men were raped. Some women may have given birth to babies conceived before their kidnapping by men they loved or conceived with their rapist captors during their period of incarceration waiting for enough of their peers to be kidnapped to fill a ship to take the barbaric voyage to hell...

I can't say it often or loudly enough, if White folks (from all parts who were involved in the trade of humans as chattel), who expend much energy in weaving a story about how Black, Brown, Yellow and Native American folks are barbaric, less human, more criminal, lazy, shiftless, untrustworthy, etc., etc., etc. and who use media, history books, mass incarceration and other tactics to convince themselves and their offspring that they should be fearful of us, if only they knew or were willing to look in their own mirror to examine their own history, they would wonder why we, Black folks, Brown folks, Yellow folks, Native Americans and others, are not afraid of them. They would question whose story represents the epitome of heartless barbarity and never would they utter the words to anyone to, "get over it". They would have some understanding of that which they are telling others to get over... Never shall/should we forget or agree to "get over it"...

America, the land of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps", wears boots that were laced, spit shined and whose soles were worn out by Black folks who were forced to wear those boots to build this country, who continue to build this country from inside prison walls still used to enslave and work us for free...

Look at this photo. Enlarge it. Scroll across it. Examine It. Experience it. 

Just Do Not Look Away...

I JUST DID IT!!!

I QUIT smoking 26 years ago today and believe me, I was a REAL smoker, a pack per day! Cigarettes cost $2 and some change back then. In NYC today, they cost as much as $13 per pack! WTW??? 

Salem 100's, that was my brand. Why? Because that was what my Mother smoked and most teenage smokers started out smoking whatever our parents smoked because that was the brand most accessible to us. Unbeknownst to them, they were our main source. LOL!!! We "borrowed" their cigarettes hoping our parents never noticed their pack deflating quicker than they could light up.

Of course my Mother noticed, she had five children most of who were "borrowing" her cigarettes. Smoking was so socially acceptable back then, there were smoking areas for teenagers with consenting parents to smoke in high school. It was a different time... There were only 20 in a pack! She busted us all very cleverly around the dinner table one evening. We fell for her trick to find out which of us was smoking hook, line and sinker! That's a really funny story for another time...

But yes I quit 26 years ago today and I haven't looked back. Never took another puff. I knew that I had really quit when I survived my first crisis without a cigarette. Smokers understand... I decided that just as the recovering junkie cannot take the occasional hit, I would not test or tempt myself to take the occasional puff. I liked smoking too much. I would have started smoking again just as sure as my name is Helen...

I quit for reasons of self preservation and because someone very near and dear to me at that time simply said, "You are too smart to smoke". Nothing profound but it struck a chord and made perfect sense. I had procrastinated and made false promises to myself to quit for long enough. It was just time and I knew it. It was the healthy thing to do. I quit cold turkey! You CAN too and you WILL when you are ready! BELIEVE IT! Oh YES You CAN!!!

As I reflect on how I just put my mind to quitting 26 years ago today and I just did it, I am standing still and absorbing the moment to motivate my CAN DO spirit to deal with challenges I am facing today. I am reminded, that Oh YES I CAN!!! Oh YES I DID!!! And Oh YES I WILL!!!

A Tribute to Our Queen...

Yesterday I spent what was the equivalent of a day at work watching the funeral services for Aretha Franklin, Our undisputed, irreplaceable and much adored Queen of Soul.

It took me back down memory lane. It reminded and made me proud of the wonderful and talented people we are and the rich legacy that the Black American community has shared with the world. Our being, our existence, our resilience, our style, our culture, our class has inspired so many. Sometimes we forget. Most times we don't celebrate it loudly or often enough allowing that not only do we forget but others, who stand firmly on our shoulders, who mimic our traditions, who walk in our path, who benefit from our struggle, to also forget...

Yesterday I was reminded of my Mom who played ALL of Aretha's music, from the blues, to jazz, to gospel, to her top 40 hits. I remembered regarding her music "old people's music". Definitely I was the kid who either didn't appreciate or understand Aretha's music, not even the songs that I did try to sing. I was 6 or 7 when Ms. Franklin blew up. I was in my 20's when I came to appreciate her beyond the top billed songs. Who didn't like RESPECT? Kids were hooked on showing that we could spell the word and say it with the same sass as she offered it to us. "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me!"  WE LOVED IT! Didn't fully understand it but we loved it! 

I vividly remember truly hearing and fully understanding the words to Do Right Woman, Natural Woman, Ain't No Way, Dr. Feelgood, etc and actually feeling the meaning of the words my child self had sang for all those years. Wrong words and all! LOL! The woman now understood and fell in love with and came to understand why Aretha is the Queen of Soul. I began to FEEL the soul of her music in my soul and came to respect and appreciate her as the Queen! My Queen! My neighbors probably thought I had lost my mind. I was 20 something, riding through the neighborhood blasting not young folks' music of the 80's but Aretha Franklin's gold from the 60's and 70's. I am damn near 60 and still I blast and sing her music as loud as I can every chance I get! I love me so Re Re! Her music is timeless!

At the beckoning of the spirit of our Queen, yesterday was a day of our shouting and showing off to the world who we are, what we represent, what we have contributed. We reminded ourselves and the world of the treasure of us. There will never be another Aretha but forever her legacy and unmatched talent will live. I feel so blessed to have her music to allow me never to forget who she was and what she gave us. I am blessed to have seen her in concert more times than I can count; the last being in Philadelphia about five years ago. She demanded perfection of herself. 

She came on stage in Philly and she was not pleased with her voice. We, the fans, did not care. We were just honored to be in her presence. She performed for a bit, apologized and left the stage. None of us budged. We chanted for her to come back out. We wanted to hear the Queen, Our Queen, no matter her voice. Some time later, she graciously returned to the stage, told us whatever she did to "fix her vocal chords" and she sang a full concert for us! She did not short change or disappoint her fans.

Funny thing is that now I am hearing from others who also perform that more than likely there was nothing wrong with her voice but something not right about her money and this was her way of letting the promoters know that had better come up with her dough! LOL!!! Who knows? She was legendary for getting paid in cash and up front and for performing with her cash filled purse plainly in sight. So maybe... All I know is that per usual, she gave a wonderful performance. She is the Queen and she will be missed... 

Aretha Louise Franklin, March 25, 1942 – August 16, 2018 

Rest Easy My Sistah. You brought us so MUCH joy and it will sustain us FOREVER & EVER!!! Thank You! 

When We Export Customer Service...

Last night I got a follow up call from 1-800-Flowers. The guy's accent was so strong I barely understood him and started to hang up before I realized he was returning a call per my request. I knew we were in trouble right about the time he asked me to spell J-O-H-N-S-O-N. I don't know which country he was in but it wasn't the US...

Meanwhile, an American in need of a job does not have one as big business peddles the notion that Americans won't work. Americans won't do customer service jobs? That's nonsense! Many a successful American got his or her start answering phones and/or delivering office mail. Don't believe the hype!

An American company is exploiting some poor person somewhere else in the world who needs to eat and/or feed a family and is probably all too happy to work for an American company oblivious or not concerned that s/he is being taken advantage of. That same American company claiming patriotism, all the while denying an American employment but depending on Americans to buy or use their goods and services, is charging us exorbitant prices for their exploitation of others. Big business rips folks off, line the pockets of their shareholders and CEOs, and American consumers get NOTHING in return, not a job, not a discount, yet we are expected to accept the inferior customer service we receive.

Often, I feel sorry for the poor representatives. They probably think Americans are mean as hell because of the tongue lashings they get because their English is bad or because they simply do not understand our varied temperaments and geographically cultural differences. Customer service is the face of a company. Any company that cares about it's customers does not farm out this department to foreign lands. They just don't...

NEVER let anyone tell you that Americans won't work. Demand that they finish the sentence. Americans won't work FOR PEANUTS while CEOs pay themselves in cashews...

"Mexican" Means You Too!

On Friday, I met a Senegalese shop keeper. A man sat in the front of his store and was quiet as everyone else was laughing and talking. I joked about him being quiet. The shop keeper explained that he had recently arrived from Senegal and did not speak English. To which I replied, "he got in under the trump administration?". He laughed and said "he ain't trying to stop us, he's blocking Mexicans"...

He can't be serious right now... I guess he is not reading the papers about how the occupier is deporting or planning to deport thousands of Ghanaians and Haitians. He obviously has a false and frightening sense of comfort believing that he is not included in the round up. I guess he did not hear the "shithole" comment either. SMH...

It is scary to be so detached that even when it is happening right in your face, when it could happen to you or your loved ones, you are oblivious... It is scary to live in a country and not understand the unspoken...

This makes me think of the Brown folks who were not Mexican but who voted for the jackass and then landed on the news crying their Brown eyes out when their loved ones got deported or turned around at the airport despite having followed procedures. Some folks seem not to know what it really means to have natural melanin, not gifted by the sun, in one's skin in America... They don't understand the depth and breadth of disdain of some for people of color (POC), that there are no exceptions and that "Mexican" is a code word that means YOU TOO...

The attack right now is on Brown or Black people but Yellow folks should not be feeling so comfortable. History tells us, and them too if they read, that ultimately their time will come. Normally I don't like the term people of color. It sometimes allows one to skirt the real issue or matter at hand and not be specific about or to whom one really speaks. Often it is too broad implying that POC share similar experiences, circumstances, concerns, expectations and/or responses. Of course we don't. Not in most situations... In this instance however...

I am reminded of the now seemingly forgotten but famous quote by Martin Niemoller, a German Pastor humane and brave enough to speak out against hitler's inhumanity.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out

— Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out

— Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out

— Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me

—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Apathy is dangerous and silence is complicity when there is a racist mad man occupying the white house. Contain him/it! ALWAYS speak out... Don't wait until it happens to you. By then, the train has departed the station, is off the track and fully derailed. Your voice will have no impact. It will fall on deaf ears as a precedent has been allowed to have been set. 

You ARE your Brother's Keeper... 

It is YOUR duty to #resist!

Bullying Is Not a Rite of Passage...

Somehow in America we have come to accept that bullying is an inevitable part of childhood, a rite of passage if you will, that we all get and give our fair share of and that somehow, miraculously, we will all get over it. All too often, however, such is not the case... If your child is a bully, handle it swiftly and sternly. Find out what is wrong with him or her, get them some counseling and/or give them a dose of their own medicine.

I remember slapping a boy, for what I do not recall. It was the week of a long anticipated Girl Scout camping trip. His Mother made a big deal of me slapping her son. I can't say I blame her. Her son had done nothing to me that I can recall and he did not hit me back. Of course he could have cleaned the floor with me if he so chose. He was younger but definitely the bigger person in both stature and character. His Mom came to our house and told my Mom what I had done...

My Mother told me if I did not apologize, I could not go camping. She knew I was excited about going on this trip. As much as I really wanted to go camping, I really did not want to apologize. I held out all week until the night before I was to go. She was dead serious. I was not going unless I apologized. I sucked it up and we went to his house and I apologized in front of everyone. I did not mean it but it did not matter. I had to humble myself to get what I wanted.

The next day I went camping, Camp Sacajewea somewhere in South Jersey. I don't remember where but I will never forget it because I HATED IT! LOL! I spent one night in those woods with outhouses, no lights and visions of bears and snakes and creepy crawlers dancing in my head and my Mom was coming to get me before the sun set on me for day two at Camp Sacajewea. LOL!!! I was outta' there!

All I could think of was that I apologized for nothing. Hey! I was a kid not yet ready to receive the lesson that this was not going to be one of my shining moments. My Mother made sure that I would never forget that this was not a shining moment for me. I think I remember being a bully on only one other occasion, of which I am also ashamed. I learned my lesson... The golden rule I live by today is to treat others as I wish to be treated.

Moral of the story is when your Mom blackmails you, know the value of the weapon she is bribing you with (smile). Thank You Mom, it was a valuable lesson. And "Corky", the boy I slapped who I am grateful did not give me some of my own medicine, 50 years later, I am genuinely sorry...

Bullying is not an accepted rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Be Kind to Others. Our children are watching and mimicking...