Purple Tears...

Much of this morning was spent watching and listening to the many tributes to Prince; on the radio, on TV, on Facebook. The love and admiration is amazing and well deserved... Since last night, BET has featured nothing but the man and his music. Its been wonderful... 

My heart however is heavy. I feel sad and keep hearing myself asking Prince "why?", as though he can answer, as though there is an answer... We are just beyond the first quarter of 2016 and the loss of noted celebrity lives has been astounding. I doubt that I am alone when I push aside thoughts about how horrible it will be when certain of our legends leaves us. Just the thought of saying goodbye to some is too painful to bear. Crazy how personal and attached we get with folks we don't even know. I think it has something to do with our living vicariously through them and the joy their talent brings us. We become vested in folks we don't know because we are inspired by or in awe of, their drive to embrace their talent and drive to live their dream.

It is inevitable however that we will lose our giants. But Prince and I are the same age. In my mind we are still young, we are the "new 50" and there is plenty of life ahead of us! So consideration of his death, loss of his talent, never to see or hear him in concert again, was not on the list of celebrities I silently dread the experience of mourning. His death was no where on my radar. So yes, it is hitting me really hard...

I am grateful to have fond memories of attending his concert last May. It was the first time I had seen him perform since my 20's. He gave a benefit concert in Baltimore following the police murder of Freddie Gray. It was on a Sunday night. I was living and working in Harlem and decided immediately to attend no matter the cost. I was going. A colleague overheard me say I was going and asked to come along. We got our tickets and on Sunday afternoon we hit the road. Three plus hours and 200 miles later, we were there!

The concert and the crowd were mesmerizing. For the entire concert, everyone was on their feet and singing along with him. It was amazing to recall in such a way, for such an occasion the work of this true genius and to see first hand how he, the legend, had affected so many. Total peace and unison in the midst of turbulence in the city.

We were so full when we left that we got back in the car still grooving to his music and others. We laughed, we sang, we talked about the concert, which was especially special to her as singing Prince songs with her late Mother was a memory of fond and very special times. She was so grateful to have been able to attend. I was happy to share in her reminiscence. It was just a magical night.

We were so pumped that we didn't even feel the 3 hour 200 mile drive back to NY. Nor did we feel the affect of sleep deprivation when we both arrived at work the next day for an 8am start! I was so happy and lighthearted that I was reminded of a dear and departed Friend who once accused that I was an over aged teenager when I partied like a crazy woman at my party for 30th birthday. What would he say now? (smiling...) What an evening. Not only did my Friend and I make it through a long day, after work I was still floating on Prince adrenaline and somehow found energy to meet some other Friends for dinner. The power of Prince! LOL!!!

Yesterday I think I just tried to stay busy so not to focus or allow the enormity of the loss to affect me. I didn't want to let it sink in... My concert Friend sent me a text that asked what's going on with Prince. I shirked it away and wondered where she had been since he was hospitalized and released over the weekend. I did not have the TV, radio on and believe it or not, I was not on Facebook. It was when another Friend called that I got the word and turned on the boob tube. My heart dropped... 

Today, my emotions are all over the place; high as I listen to and watch his genius that is being celebrated and low as melancholy consumes my spirit and I once again I hear myself wondering why the good or those who so love life and have so much still to offer, die so young... My consolation in my head is I am appreciating that through his music, he has left us a wonderful gift that will allow him life eternal. His music will keep him alive forever in our hearts. There is no question about what lies between the dashes in his life's story. Prince lived his life to the fullest and as such, was a true inspiration to so many. 

This morning I console myself by watching and listening to the marvelous gifts he has left us, his music, footage of rare interviews, stories from his celebrity Friends and the visual of the apparent and overwhelming love of his adoring fans. Last night I drove by the Apollo Theater at 1am. The marquee displayed a tribute to him and as in his life, following his death, fans were assembled to celebrate and honor him. 

Today I am telling me that Prince would not want us to mourn him but instead to appreciate, be inspired by and find our own greatness in the treasure of gifts he has left us. I am challenging myself in Prince's honor, to be reflective, to assess my own life and what will be the story between my dashes. I will not live vicariously through others who I admire for following their dreams, but instead commit to live vicariously through me and my own treasures that others so often see but that I tend to take for granted... Today I will try not to mourn the loss of my fellow Gemini Brother but instead be propelled and motivated by the gift of his legacy. I think that is what he would want... 

He Came
He Conquered
And now he rests after a job VERY well done...
The rest of us should be so lucky. 

His presence and his brilliance will be sorely missed...