The Power of Kindness

 

Yesterday was one of those days. I was in an inexplicable funk. I just couldn't jumpstart my good mood. You know, we all have those days. For me, it is many things, starting with cabin fever and feeling land locked as I have not had a decent vacation in TWO years. Incredible!!!

I am not up to flying yet. I am still uneasy about being in tight spaces with people. Planes are about as tight as it gets. Not to mention the customers are straight up, bat-shit crazy lately. So I'm good. Land bound I remain and it is killing me...

Additionally, I think the change of season kills my spirit. Every year I swear is my last winter, but here I remain. Shame on me. With every drop in temperature, late start of morning and early nightfall, I literally feel myself more sad... I know, I know with all the traveling I have done, I should have picked my happy spot by now and relocated long ago. Again, shame on me.

I had to teach last night and the night before. Although teaching in person is risky and sometimes I have to drag myself to class, seeing my students enjoy my class and really get the material, brings me joy. I think they like my class! I certainly like having them in my class. They are a really great bunch! So yesterday, despite my funk, I had to find that happy face for them, for at least a few hours. I think I pulled it off. Good for me...

I could feel myself being pretty flat and of limited responsiveness during my visit with my GYN. She and her staff were wonderful. Me? Not so much. It didn't help that I had arrived early but sat in my car until check in time only to realize that my mammogram I thought scheduled following the GYN was not after my visit but before. Duh! I was sitting in the car and missed the damn appointment! Of course I did. This mistake fit right in with my mood and the blah day, with the blah weather, that I was having...

I love that this GYN first meets you in her office while you are fully clothed to review your past year with you. Nice touch of humanity and professionalism robbed from the medical profession by insurance companies and large corporations  who have become the slumlords of medicine. How sad... 

Sometimes the GYN only sees you in the robe "opened in the front" before telling you to scoot down and assume position in the stirrups. It feels so impersonal, kinda' like a "slam, bam, thank you ma'am" date feels. LOL! No, its not the same but this is the only other person who really gets to say hello to that part of you. So setting the stage, easing the anxiety, at least asking my name,  so to speak, helps. My experience is that no matter how many years of doing this dance, still, its a vulnerability that one never gets used to. Hurry up and finish already! Please! LOL!

Anyway, I knew that I was in a mood. I wasn't rude, I just wasn't friendly. Plus now I'm bummed and mentally beating myself up because I missed my mammogram. How could I have entered the wrong time on my calendar?

My Mom died from breast cancer so of the two appointments, the mammo is more important. They have another opening  for a mammogram at the same time as my GYN appointment. I would rather take that appointment. I share this with the GYN and her nurse before her. I would imagine that she could care less about and didn't take it personally or receive it negatively that I'd rather have a mammogram than have my appointment with her, but given my mood, I'm not sure how I said it...

I realize between the office visit and disrobing for my exam, that I need to let her know to ignore me today because I'm in a funk which has nothing to do with her. I tell her as she begins my exam.

Now this is one of those times when talking to a woman makes a difference. She assures me that it is OK and that we all have those days. Zero judgment comes from her. Alternatively, sometimes as women, we respond to attitude with attitude which only makes a bad situation worse. She responds with kindness.

I realize after the exam that she has taken a seat and is just hanging out talking to me. She asks about what I am doing to take care of myself, have I had a vacation, and other small talk. It occurs to me what she is doing. I ask if she is trying to cheer me up? To which she says, yes. That was touching and it is what makes real women, women. I thanked her for her concern and told her she had other patients to see and that she should not let me get her off schedule. But how nice of her. I appreciated her advice to take a vacation which no matter the price, is cheaper than a therapist. More importantly however, it was her random act of kindness that made all the difference. It/she was right on time and just when I needed it.

Not to mention, her staff made arrangements for me to have my mammo following my exam just as I erroneously planned so the day was not a wash. The mammo technician, another woman, was wonderful too. Shout out to Cooper Hospital's Ripa Center for Women'sHealt.  Yes, Ripa as in Kelly. She's  a South Jersey Girl. Great job all around! On a random day,  in the near future, I will send my doctor a random note of appreciation that will hopefully give an unexpected lift to her day!

Be kind to others folks. Its so much easier to do than the alternative.

Wishing you a FAB Day and sending BIG, BIG  Higgi Hugs Your Way!

~ Miss Higgi