Saturday, June 8, 2013

Today I Celebrate Me...

WOW! Another year has gone by. Hard to believe. Where does the time go? At this time last year I was in Los Angeles hanging out with a variety of Friends, some of whom I had not seen in a very long time. I went seeking sun and beach only to learn about "June Gloom". Apparently some parts of LA are void of sun for the most part of June. Because I was staying at Redondo Beach and was so close to the water, some days were damn near cold and some others were overcast with the gloom of June... Who knew? LOL! It was a fabulous time nonetheless! I enjoyed my time with Friends and Family. It was great...

As I prepare for what will be a subdued birthday this year, I am reminded of birthdays past. Without exception, my birthday is my special time to celebrate me! I have celebrated birthdays by doing something as simple as spending a day being pampered at a local spa, as I will today, to spending the entire month of June in Egypt marveling at the wonders of my history and dining on the Nile.

Milestone birthdays have been purposeful and extra special. The big 4-0 was celebrated on a cruise with 25 dear Friends. 35 was celebrated partying harder than I have ever partied in life. I reconnected with an old Friend from my college days and went to St. Maarten for the very first and the very best of the Sinbad Soul Festivals, 1995. Chartered planes filled with a few hundred mature and spirited Black folks from around the country descended on the island for a week of nothing but pure fun! Parties were held on a different beach every day. Concerts were held nightly with the best of performers from the 70's; Earth, Wind & Fire, The O'Jays, Gladys Knight, Frankie Beverly, Teena Marie, Ohio Players, Natalie Cole, Al Green and more. Celebrities, to include Angela Bassett, Isaac Hayes and Tom Joyner mingled, partied and took photos with us regular folks. HBO taped the event, segments of which aired later that summer. Night clubs stayed open and filled with partygoers, including myself, til' 5am! The weather was perfect and everyone was in good spirits. I had so much fun that I had to remind myself to stop and eat. Sleep was almost unheard of until we boarded our flight for home. It was such a grand time that one of the DC ladies had a party at her house later that summer for all to gather, share photos, swap tales and reminisce about our trip. It was the best time ever!!!

Miss Higgi & Frankie Beverly


Thirty was celebrated by having a party at "The Club" in Washington, DC. I remember that it was on a Friday night and I danced all night long! One of my Friends described that I partied like an over aged teenager! This too is a good memory. The Club became on of my favorite DC hang outs. It was at located above the Days Inn Hotel at 12th & K Streets, NW. Ah, the good ole' days!!!

Fifty was fab too! I celebrated in Punta Cana & Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic with two very dear and long time Friends. In between I have celebrated birthdays in Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Bermuda, Costa Rica, Florida, Jamaica, San Francisco, Arizona, Las Vegas, Sydney, Australia and more.

Today I turn 53! Today I am truly grateful! Grateful that despite a few bumps along the way, this ride of life has been mostly good. I fully recognize and appreciate that I have been blessed in that I have been afforded some truly wonderful experiences and met some truly fantastic people! 

Thank You God for Your many blessings and for another year to inspire others and to Celebrate Me... 

Today I Celebrate Me, Happy Birthday Miss Higgi...

Thursday, June 6, 2013

JUST LIVE FOLKS!!!

Last week a bridge collapsed in Seattle... Yesterday a building in downtown Philly collapsed. How does that happen? Last count 13 injured and 6 people dead, one of whom was only 35 years young and on her first day of work at the Salvation Army store, the building upon which the neighboring edifice fell.

So often my Friends tell me they live vicariously through me, my free spirit & my zest for life. I love sharing my tales hoping to spark a little spontaneity and thirst for adventure in them as well. I caution them however, not to be as carefree as me because, unlike me, most have children or other responsibilities. But by all means I encourage them to LIVE! Follow your passion! Stop dreaming for retirement or waiting for the time, money or circumstances to be right to start seeing the big beautiful world! I have visited 6 of the 7 continents and plan too see so much more!

While life WILL happen, rarely will it happen that the stars align and everything is perfectly in place for you to follow your dream, travel or whatever it is, so JUST LIVE Folks! Live without regrets! Don't wait for a building or other burdens of life to fall on you to get your wake up call. NOW IS YOUR TIME! Build YOUR bridge and start making IT Happen! You'll be alright! Really you will...


This picture, taken by a dear Friend and mailed to many as a postcard a few years back, captures the spirit and essence of life I strive to maintain... JUST LIVE FOLKS!!!

 
 
 
Miss Higgi reminding you to live passionately, be kind to others and to always Celebrate YOU! 
 
 

Friday, May 31, 2013

Spark the Change YOU Want to See...

If the video below does not motivate you to get involved and make a difference in your community or in someone else's life, then nothing will. Strawberry Mansion, the Philadelphia High School featured in the broadcast, looks more like a prison than a school. So when our youth behave accordingly, why are we surprised? It is up to us to break the cycle, to show them something different...  
 
Hats off to Principal Linda Cliatt-Wayman, the teachers and other school personnel who support her daily. She is a hero in the true sense of the word. What is more commendable however, is that she has not run away from her roots. She is back in her community, fully vested in her legacy and determined to make a difference. I have already reached out to see how I can help. Will you? Trust me, there is a "Strawberry Mansion" in a neighborhood close to you... 
 
Come on Folks. WE CAN make a difference!!!

Strawberry Mansion High School
3133 Ridge Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19132
Phone: 215-852-2636
Email: strawberrymansionhighschool@gmail.com

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

There is Untapped Power in the Community...


Last night I drove more than 120 miles round trip to attend a fundraiser for Sheena Johnson, a Mother of two, who resorted to living in a NJ storage unit with her sons because she felt they had no where else to go. Ironically I was 27 years old, the same age as Ms Johnson, when I was disenchanted and spent less than one year working in the very system that should provide a safety net for Moms like Ms. Johnson. Even then I was disturbed to be part of a system that seemed more concerned with destroying families rather than helping them…  

Ms Johnson left an abusive relationship and did what she had to do to keep her Family together. Did she make a few missteps? Yes, desperate people often do. She left her boys at the storage unit while she was across town slashing her boyfriend's tires. Not good judgment. When she got arrested and realized that she was not going to be released, she immediately told the cops where her sons were. Why? Because she loves and cares for her 5 and 10 year old children and because she was obviously concerned for their safety, that’s what Mothers do…  

Ms. Johnson has reportedly been drug tested twice since her arrest. She is NOT a drug user. She works with temporary agencies and despite living in a storage unit, her boys were not abused or malnourished and they attended private school. Ms. Johnson is articulate, employable, obviously resourceful and like many others in this horrible economy, down on her luck. So what does a system that should be willing to help a young Mother in her condition do? They arrest her and charge her with a felony punishable by 5 - 10 years imprisonment, strap her with a $50,000 bail that she cannot afford and take her children away refusing to let her see them. Her case will be heard in family court in Mercer County on May 31. Don’t get excited, you cannot go to show support of her because in NJ, as in most other states, family court proceedings are closed to the public, NY and FL are the exceptions. At best, you can rally in her defense on the courthouse steps. I cautioned Ms Johnson to hope for the best but to prepare for the worse. She wants her children back.

How sad is it that in times of crisis, Mothers like Sheena Johnson are so very afraid to turn to social services for help? That is the purpose of the agency, is it not? I have a Friend whose teenage daughter was giving her hell, as teenagers do. Fortunately she called me before calling her local social service agency to ask for a local reference to secure psychological assistance to help solve her Family problems. She had no idea of the potential for harm to which she would have subjected the sanctity of her Family had she made that call. Once the courts and social services become involved in your family life, they dig for dirt and they are there to stay. Certainly, I would never advise handing them the invitation and I am an attorney and a former social worker. How sad is that?

Hats off to The Big Easy Restaurant for coming to the aid of Ms Johnson. The owner, Olugbala Sababu and his friend Dan Toto, heard her story and sprang into action to get her out of jail and then educated and galvanized the community to also support her. I was pleased to see so many who attended the fundraiser, designed to create a trust fund for Ms. Johnson’s sons, show genuine concern and support for the mother of these children. She was visibly appreciative and still overwhelmed with joy when I spoke with her later in the evening. A local church came forward and volunteered use of a home for Ms. Johnson and the boys for at least the next year. 
tn0519johnson2.JPG
Olugbala Sababu, owner of the Big Easy restaurant, Sheena Johnson and Dan Toto. (Photo Source: The Times) 

There is untapped power in the community. Our apathy is overwhelming and relied on by public agencies like the courts, social service providers, the police and others who we empower with our silence. It is our apathy that licenses such authorities to be reckless and to do what they will. I am convinced however, as was evidenced last night, that when we know better, we do better. It is not that the community does not care, it is more that the community does not know. When someone has compassion, takes the time to let us know and provides a means to get involved, the community will show up…

Again, family courts in NJ and most other states are closed to the public. Although access to courts is a state issue, opening family courts is a matter that must be addressed nationally. Stipulations on federal dollars can serve as incentive for states to consider any such revisions. In the interest of “protecting privacy”, closed courts have created a shield that instead protects bad lawyering, abhorable social work and all too often a miscarriage of justice. Because Mothers so desperately want their children returned and don’t want to get on the wrong side of the courts or the social workers who hold ALL of the cards, they silently endure what ever happens to them in a closed court setting. The courts are in full control of the image and impressions projected to the public. The Family is effectively silenced through hopelessness, despair and a lack of power. And we wonder where our children learn to bully...

All too often, Families in need of help are further victimized behind the closed doors of the court. It will be interesting to see how the courts and social services react to Ms. Johnson’s story going public. Will they concede and do what is right and what they are empowered to do, help her to find suitable housing and offer life skills training and other IN HOME services to help improve her situation or will they push back, go into greater attack mode and further punish this family by keeping them separated? It is noteworthy that states get Title IV federal funding when children are placed in court ordered, OUT OF HOME placement. This money is not available for services provided while the child remains in the home. This too, needs to be addressed. It offers the wrong incentive and is not in concert with family reunification. Our silence around the country validates a failed and broken system that has no accountability...   

Based on my professional experiences enhanced by an occasional stint as an adjunct professor teaching a class on child welfare policy, I can tell you that Ms Johnson’s circumstance is not an exception but rather the rule. But for the compassion of Mr. Sababu and Mr. Toto, she would have languished in an overcrowded jail, unable to pay an excessive bail, all the while being estranged from her children. By the time she got out of jail, if she got out of jail, the state would have argued that it would be disruptive and harmful for the children to be removed from a “stable and loving” foster home at which they would have “bonded” after being there for a good part of a year. Moreover, by time of release from jail, Ms Johnson would have new hurdles to jump, hurdles she did not have before the awful ordeal began. While I don’t profess to know all the facts in Ms Johnson’s case, I do profess to know that hers is a Family that, given proper and unbiased professional attention, is salvageable…

It is a vicious cycle and there are far too many Sheena Johnson's harshly or wrongfully punished by a broken and ineffective system that is too overwhelmed, too insensitive and too rarely challenged or held accountable to stop and heal itself. Ms Johnson and Mothers like her are the victims of bureaucracy. They are victims of a system that knows no boundaries when it comes to justifying its existence and upholding its obviously flawed methods... It is no coincidence that the children who populate the child welfare systems are often the same children who eventually populate the adult prison system. Nor is it a coincidence that both are filled with Black and Brown faces, that is a story to be told on another day…  This national pathology however, endorsed by our collective silence, is called the cradle to prison pipeline.

WHERE does it end?

WHEN do we start to care enough to challenge the gross abuses of a very broken system?

WHY do we typically wait until tragedy knocks at our door to be inspired to get involved? By then it is often too late and our silence has allowed that precedent be set. 

WHAT will you do now that you know?

WHO will step up and take the lead to challenge your local systems?


There IS Untapped Power In the Community!!!


Again, hats off to the Big Easy Restaurant located at 120 S Warren Street in Trenton, NJ.




Here is the link to the news coverage: 


Saturday, April 6, 2013

WHO is Telling Your Story?

Here is proof that WHO is telling the story DOES matter… 

Yesterday while enroute to the Tidewater area in VA, I had time to kill so I stopped off to explore Black history at the Jamestown Settlement and one of it’s neighboring facilities.  My interest was in visiting the grounds of reportedly the first point of entrance for Africans in America and to see what I was told were replicas of Slave ships on display there.

Much to my humor, because I can’t say amazement, not one, but two employees recited for me the same basic lingo to describe what Black history I would find in Jamestown.

First it was explained that Jamestown is the birthplace for multiculturalism, the beginnings of the proverbial “melting pot” in America. With much pride AND, with a straight face, I might I add, it was explained that in the settlement of Jamestown, English “settlers”, Powhatan Indians and Africans from Angola all lived together! What a happy bunch they were! At least that is until those ungrateful Indians got out of hand and started fighting with those nice English “settlers”. Why then, all hell broke loose! The peaceful landing or port of entry for all, Ellis Island of that time I suppose, was forced to become a battle plagued fort as those kind hearted and loving “settlers”, bringing only good will and culture to the new land and to those mean ole’ savage like Indians, were forced to defend themselves!

And those Africans? Well, they just happened here by chance! The civilized and law abiding English “settlers” intending only to rob Portuguese ships of gold, diamonds and such instead, once on board, discovered all of those poor Africans neatly packaged and all tied up, just waiting to do God’s work, serving the interests of the White man! So those replica Slave ships I wanted to see? Well, they don’t really exist because the ships on display are replicas of ships that transported servants not Slaves. OK... However, it was explained that one can safely ASSume that the replica ships displayed at the settlement likely do largely resemble Slave ships that would eventually find their way to the new land but not for at least another 100 years…  

And Slavery? Well that was an accidental discovery too. Initially those kidnapped Africans accepted their fate. They settled in and lived very peaceably and amicably in that melting pot with the Indians and the English “settlers.” They were not Slaves, nor were they 3/5 humans, instead they were very happy indentured servants who, given good behavior, AKA quality servitude, you know like inmates in today’s prison system, they could actually earn their freedom. Hell, the nice ladies even shared with me that there is documented proof that one family actually left the good ole’ state of Virginny’ and traveled north to settle in Maryland. Lucky them, their family was never enslaved! ONLY ONE family managed to escape slavery? OK…

These trained and well rehearsed staff members wanted it to be clear that slavery was not intended in this new America. It was only when those English “settlers” saw the rewards of free labor being reaped by their brethren back in the home land, that they made what was purely an economical decision to replace the chains of physical bondage with 400 years of brutality and mental bondage… This canned recitation, if not so pathetic, would almost be comical!
 
During my next visit to the Tidewater area, my quest will be to find out where is the statute or place of celebration for Nat Turner. He played a significant role in the history of Virginia too. Surely there is a tribute to him somewhere???  I will let you know...

So folks as you can see, it DOES matter who is telling the story. WHO is telling your story? Miss Higgi Says, Learn, Embrace and GO TELL your history, WHOever you are, WHATever your story.  Don't allow that it is distorted or told out of context. Make sure folks hear it firsthand. Liberate your mind and shout it to the world...  

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

JOY is a Reciprocal Thing ~ Give & You Shall Receive...

Yesterday was a great day. I had almost lost hope of finding Emma, a South African Friend who I met while attending law school. She was a visiting student from South Africa during my last year of study. I saw her in passing again maybe five years ago when we both happened at the same law firm in NY. She was making big bucks. I was just working... (smile) Since then, we lost contact with one another and none of the conventional ways to find someone was working...

It is my last week in South Africa and finally logic and ingenuity kicked in and I figured out how to find her. DUH!!! We spent a lovely afternoon together and caught up over dinner. She fondly remembered that a few fellow students and I at Rutgers ensured she felt welcome and that she had a good time in the US. She wants to pay it forward and do the same for me here and has assured me a good time for my last few days.  

While Emma is a Jo'Burg girl, born and raised, she has run for peace and quiet in WITBANK of all places!!! LOL! Surely you recall Witbank, the lovely little town where I had my near fatal, never to be forgotten lesson on South African photography etiquette. What are the odds of that? You could not have convinced me that I knew anyone residing in or anywhere near Witbank! Comforting to know that if some stuff had gone down in the lovely little town in Somewhere, South Africa, I would have at least had good counsel to get me out of jail or the hospital, which ever had been the case! (smile)

Such a small world. Sorry I am only finding her during my last week. But we were both excited to see one another and looking forward to our time together. We will meet again... For right now, I am HAPPY to have found her! Receiving My Joy!!!




Today will be a special day because I get to do a good deed for John, the shoe repair guy I mentioned early in my trip. He has a roadside shoe repair business. Often still, during my walks, I stop to talk with John. He and I have become rather friendly and occasionally, we see one another about town. Daily John constructs a tent under which he works all day. His tent is 3 years old, worn from daily wear and tear and very tattered. Holes are in the top and the sun shines clear through on a beautiful day. The rain pours clear through on a rainy day. John is creative and improvises but nonetheless, when it rains, he has real problems! I am excited today because I get to surprise John with a new tent! He has no idea that I have done this for him! Giving a small piece of joy and I can't wait to see his face!!! It's the small things folks...


 


Additionally today, I will take 3 very special teenagers for their very first mani-pedi! They are "besties" and I am excited to give them this small slice of joy! Creating memories...





Joy, Miss Higgi Says "It's a Reciprocal Thing!". Give and You SHALL Receive!!! 

Saturday, March 16, 2013

There is Laughter on the Journey!!!


Sharing a LOL moment!

As I have previously shared, I enjoy walking and taking in the sights and have done a lot of that during my visit here in South Africa. Well, in her hey day, Sistah Girl had it goin’ on and could stop a little traffic. I was cute, shapely and blessed with a set of those wonderful Walker women legs, a family trait for which I remain thankful cuz' in the spirit of Bel Biv Divoe, all Sistah Girl has left are big legs, mysterious eyes and a smile! Sorry, I digress... 

So here I am in the Motherland where, as in the Caribbean, shapely is defined just a little bit differently than at home. American Brothas like a little meat. African Brothas, and Sistahs for that matter, like even mo' meat! So present day Sistah Girl fits right in, “big bumpas”, as so eloquently described in Jamaica a few years back, and all.

Quite naturally when I’m strolling about the streets of Johannesburg and I hear horns honking, my mind cautiously revisits the ego of old when in the US it was not unusual to attract the attention of passersby who might honk their horn, whistle (old skool’) or express their admiration in the form of some unique and highly descriptive, sometimes offensive, but mostly well intended cat call! As I tend to stroll solo, I am cautious of any such attention in South Africa and truly not trying to attract such attention. Crimes against women here are very real and Sistah Girl would prefer to be unnoticed… OK, less noticed (smile)

Well Sistah Girl has nothing to worry! Ego has been properly checked and is no longer in overdrive! Seems here that honking horns are not a form of flattery acknowledging that the walker has a cute booty, great legs or anything of the sort, but instead, honking horns here are a form of local commerce signaling that the driver has room for the big booty and long legs in his local taxi minivan, what we would call a “jitney”. I am still Laughing Out Loud!!!  Thank God Sistah Girl has a sense of humor, appreciates customs and is also blessed with a strong constitution. Otherwise, she might be just a little crushed!!! (smiling…)

Sharing a laugh and playfully passing on the value of understanding local customs. Hope you enjoyed…

Thanks to my beautiful and friendly South African Sisters, Refilwe and Merrise, I am off this morning to spend the day in infamous Sun City and then on to Pilanesberg Nature Reserve where we will enjoy an evening safari and see South Africa’s Big Five (the lion, elephant, buffalo, leopard and rhinoceros) up close and kinda' personal...  

Miss Higgi Says, ENJOY YOUR DAY TOO!!!  
 
 
“Share our similarities, celebrate our differences.”, M. Scott Peck, American Psychiatrist