I'm Just Tired...

I can dig it!

I'm just tired, mentally and emotionally that is... My soul, my spirit, my being, I feel trapped... For those who know me, this comes as no surprise...

My escapism when all is not well in my world or sometimes to simply refuel for no particular reason, is to take flight. No cure like getting on a plane and waking up in some place new. No cure like it all! My motto is "Some people do drugs, I do airplanes". I NEED an airplane BAAAD y'all...


Of course a good solo road trip with some good ole' Old Skool' music, lots of sunshine, plenty of highway miles before me, meeting good people along the way brings me great joy too. For fear of COVID laced hotel rooms, I have not done that either. 2020 has been a wash!

2020 was supposed to be a year filled with lots of joy and new beginnings. Even the sound of "2020" has a joyous ring. Lots of folks had grand ideas and plans for the start of the new decade. Hats off to those who had the fortitude to make lemonade and get shit done. I seriously applaud you!

2020 was a milestone year for me. I had planned a glorious trip back to Bahia, Brazil for a beach party with friends to celebrate me! Didn't happen. 2025? Ah, we'll see... 2020 was not a total wash. At least we got that idiot out of the white house... Thank you smart Americans!!!

It has been ONE year since last I took flight. Last November I went to Nairobi, Kenya. Had I known I was going to get stuck stateside, I would have remained abroad. Not necessarily in Kenya but certainly some place else...

I had thought I would try to get a quick fix by taking a short jaunt for Christmas but with COVID on the rise and greedy airlines packing flights again, I don't see that happening. I am moving into a more spacious and lots of windows and natural light! Thank You Lord! I suppose that in the meantime, at least for the temporary, my new digs will be my newness, my means of escape where my soul will find peace and contentment, my mind will find rest and I won't feel so tired. I'm claiming it...

It's raining. So no walk today...

And that is Miss Higgi's Thursday morning rant! Make it a good day!!!

Just Ranting...

This is it! America gets to see/show what she is made of. trump clearly has no intention of exiting the white house, peacefully or otherwise. He and the republicans have set the stage, stacked the courts and incited just enough angry crazed wannabe' proud boys to set off some real shit. Police unions nationwide overwhelmingly endorsed him and are likely on his team, putin and other evil enemies support him in his destruction of America, of course they do! and now your royal asshole has fired the head of Defense because he had the balls to tell him no... How soon before the war staged for distraction begins? The wall around the white house (which is actually being reinforced now because it went up some time ago, right after 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue became BLM Plaza, but was not properly reported) is set, a fortress is made, the bunker is stocked, amy is in place along with 200 others who now call themselves "judge". The players in place, backbones broken and the stage has been set. It will take the military to get him out but I am told that the military is hands off in domestic affairs.


On this day we celebrate our veterans, I pray that our retired and revered military brass have joined forces with key active military officials behind the scenes and are plotting how to save America... A true coup indeed... I really do. We need some real life Hollywood, Ninja action shit right about now...


Of course trump, mcconnell, guiliani, pompeo and a host of others, will be no where near danger if/when some shit goes off. The ignoramuses they have incited will risk their lives and safety to preserve life, liberty and prosperity for those making $400K and far more and who could give a damn about them. It's quite fascinating. "Almost", said jim jones...


America has tolerated trump. The media created and profited from trump, quiet as its kept, they will miss him. Twitter GAVE him a platform to harass, embarrass and terrorize a nation. The republicans have totally succumbed to trump. Racism and white supremacy fueled and empowered him. comey, oh, let us never forget comey, ignited and gave license and life to trump.. I will never forgive comey... So tell me gain, WHY are we planning to reach across the aisle?


Since Obama, America justified, rationalized, watered down, downplayed, ignored, was entertained by and called a lot of "its" and "isms" by other names... The press, history scholars and others refused to call a coup a coup and ONLY Judge Emmitt Sullivan, a Black judge, dared utter the word "treason"... blatant hate, incredible ignorance, racism, xenophobia, misogyny, disrespect to our veterans, discrediting of our intelligence, making a mockery out of the medical and legal systems (how many more will sacrifice themselves, their careers, their integrity, their professions for a masterful con man?), to hell with order or the rule of law... Drain the swamp? He IS the damn swamp! And NOW we wonder why more than 70M voted for more of him? Really? He sees their votes as a mandate that previously existed in his mind only... It did not matter that he was not a legitimate elect in 2016. It makes zero difference to him that he is not legit' now. Get ready for some more electoral college BS!!! Here we go! He intends to stay. What will America do?


This "man" has broken every rule, crossed every line and kicked through every supposedly sacred or protected barrier imaginable. Words like dignity, integrity and morality escape the very limited scope of his elementary dictionary. Educated and so called "cultured" people support him for talking and looking tough. Seriously? He is 6th grade school yard bully til' he gets his ass kicked tough. Let's kick his ass America! He is so tough that he evaded the military and thinks those who did not are "suckers and losers". Rise up "suckers and losers". Make him call you Daddy! He has probably never been in a physical fight in his life.


As his "tough guy" persona is at the level, tactics and vocabulary, of a 6th grade school yard punk, I get his attraction to redneck yahoos', ignorant rappers and zero esteem women, but rich white guys (some sadly Black, Latino and Jewish - SMH), who like or are inspired by him have some deep seated other shit going on. Now that's a WOW for the books on so many levels...


In their zest to promote, preserve and protect eternal whiteness at the expense of all others, the ingeniously racist, slave holding founding "fathers", failed to account for crazy, hitler type white boyz' rising to power. Still think it the "greatest document ever written"? They knew that they had fed a society and created a system generated by hate and imagined superiority that would never tolerate insurrection by any others, to include white women who also support the racism and sexism of trump (SMH), but seemingly failed to protect their precious nation from a crazed white guy like trump. Or did they? Is trump not attempting to return the US back to the nation they "founded"?, one of bigotry, where white male dominance, a wealthy few and free labor ruled the day? White women sat on pedestals, they were disrespected and thought only one step above the lowly enslaved but happy to be perched on that pedestal. Perhaps that explains her vote for trump. They too want to make their America great again. Hmmm.... Maybe the founding dudes were brilliant after all. None of this would have been tolerated by non-white or non-men. Those who support trump, would have been stopped long ago. Never would it have gotten to this level. Never would they have been allowed to dismantle that which we call democracy, embarrass us at home and abroad, risk our sovereignty and safety, jeopardize our very basic freedoms... ¡Nunca!


I am really just ranting this morning. Forgive me. If I were a painter this would simply be a messy canvas upon which colors of no logic or order were strewn. Some would call it a masterpiece and others would look at it in WTF wonderment. LOL!!! Call this messy painting my thoughts...


I think I'll go take a walk by the river or across the bridge, I haven't done that in a while... Good Morning and Happy Veterans Day folks!!! I truly hope that our good veterans and others are somewhere plotting and will rise up to save the day, to save the nation as they have other nations. Be super heroes in your own land. Show us the style of greatness America has so successfully marketed herself to be as she involved herself in the affairs of others. Involve yourself in your own affairs and fix this shit! Show trump and his band of evil "yes" men just who is in charge...


We shall see what America is really made of. America needs to get mad as she did post 9-11 or that day will be a picnic compared to what these evil "AMERICAN" and so called "patriotic" bastards intend to do to America, to include you idiots who support him. SMH...


OK, Miss Higgi's morning rant is complete!

Don't Be Bamboozled...

He feigned toughness, touted superiority, racially and genetically, and said or suggested that only the weak get COVID, #trumpvirus. Never has he owned a frailty or an imperfection no matter how blatant or obvious. But now all of a sudden trump is a truth teller shouting and claiming to the world to be imperfect?, to have what he clearly regards shortcomings? Miss me with that BS! That is inconsistent with the subhuman he has presented himself to be in recent or past history. 

His bold and strategically timed pronouncement of having the virus, requiring that his lips are moving, thereby suggests that he is doing that which he does best, LYING and that he does not have #trumpvirus... The trump we know would conceal infirmity and deny poor health even if visibly ill because like his father, as described in Mary Trump's book, he sees illness as a sign of weakness and this coward wants us to believe him "strong" and "superior". He would never tell and would threaten to sue anyone who did tell. That's the trump we know...

trump has shown and told us who he is. We have believed, been angered, distracted, exhausted and embarrassed by him. Now all of sudden we see him differently? We have compassion for this despicable deplorable ice hearted con man and now we believe his lies? Speak for yourself. I do not! 

Come on people! While in math negatives may derive a positive, in this case, it does not compute! Stop trying to derive positive results or interpretations from the consistently negative data trump has fed us for more than four years now.  He is the same liar and cheating scoundrel he has always presented himself to be. This current lie is a desperate act intended to keep him and his klan' tucked away in the bunker (the white house), safe from legal harms that await "civilian trumps". 

#itsahoax!

#itsadistraction

His being ill is a hoax  intended to buy time until such time to drop the next bombshell lie intended to advance his personal agenda and save his disgusting ass while forsaking sovereignty and civility of the nation. This lie is intended to keep the media and the Dems distracted during these last days before this most critical election, keep them from speaking ill of him and/or discussing:

his tax evasion, 

his support of white supremacy and a race war, 

his niece's book and her $10M lawsuit against him,

Bob Woodward's book, Cohen's book and a slew of other books telling the truth of him,

his sister's comments about his lack of intelligence, integrity, compassion and humanity, 

REAL victims of #trumpvirus and his failure and inability to contain it or care that  200,000+ and counting Americans are DEAD!!!, 

the book and audio tapes of ice princess melania as released by her former "friend" (the trumps have no real friends),

the ramming of a USC lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land with all deliberate speed absent judicial review and public scrutiny. 

Get my drift? We're not talking about ANY of this!!! The trump agenda to manipulate, distract and change the narrative prevails again. Joe Biden pulled his truthful ads, that he instead deemed "negative" ads, out of respect to the trumps' having been plagued with their own illness, #trumpvirus. The trumps, those same subhumans who would have ramped up the attack believing their opponent to be in a weakened state and who have NEVER afforded the luxury of dignity or respect to ANYone no matter the circumstances! We now afford such to them?

Yes America, we are being played and distracted yet AGAIN! What happened to voting like our lives depend on it or to save the soul of the nation? This is not the time to travel that lonely "high road" traversed solely by Dems. Look in the rear view mirror Dems, nobody up there but you. Now, in the face of blatant treason and seige, is not the time to relent or retreat. Keep up the pressure and don't back off the battle until it is won! 

trump and the repugs are the same snakes they were pre-COVID hoax even if a few of them have tested positive in their defiance of following medical advice. Let them drink bleach and inject Lysol as suggested by their "fearless" cowardly leader. 

Wake Up Dems! 

Wake Up America!!! 

This fight IS for the soul of our nation and preservation of even our basic freedoms. The trumps are not our friends. What did Maya teach us? They have shown us who they are. Believe them! I do!

Don't be bamboozled...

~ Miss Higgi

The Dawning of America on The Passing of Justice Ginsburg

The news regarding the most untimely death of Justice Ginsberg came through while on a planning call for a discussion I am hosting on Sunday between Black Women and White Women regarding our relationships, perceptions and politics. Ironically, or maybe not, we were discussing the latter when one of my colleagues shared the news which sucked the air and the energy right out of the room. 

We are Black Women, mostly lawyers, all of age enough to understand what this means. For me, it is an immediate realization that all appeals stop at the USC. trump, putin and evil ass moscow mitch will stack the court and await the challenge to lost elections, reverse of civil rights and states rights laws, of course abortion and even women's rights. Why am I feeling reconstruction deja vu? 

All hopes for America regaining her standing, globally or otherwise, are out the window. Gay marriage, DACA and all other civil/social justice gains of the last 50 years are on shaky grounds. The ruthless, the corrupt and the proudly racist, white supremacists, xenophobic, homophobic illiterates have gained power that will last certainly for the rest of my lifetime. Again, I am reminded of reconstruction. History keeps repeating itself... 

Women's rights? Wake up 52%ers! The power of White Women will be tested. White men are their fathers, husbands and sons. This is going to get real funky real fast. We have not yet seen the depth and/or test of division. 

My response when this news hit was to shut it down and just go to bed. It is now on the downside of 2 AM. I guess one cannot sleep forever. I am experiencing wokeness the likes of which I would rather not. Sleep is not the antidote for this seemingly never ending nightmare that is the madness of our reality. Waking to the truth is inevitable... 

Right now the air is still sucked out of the room. Right now as the spineless republicans are partying and popping spirits on a spectrum somewhere between champagne and moonshine, the sane of us wonder what will become of the US. To all who flirted with or gambled with America's democracy in favor of racism, preserving or protecting whiteness, privilege, loss or sharing of power and to all those who hated or couldn't bring themselves to vote for Hillary, thank you. Are you the media that traded America's democracy and stability for profit and ratings in your incessant coverage of trump's campaigning, his continued racist kkk rallies and his absolute foolery beyond that, the media that failed to challenge him still in pursuit of profit and ratings? Are you that corporation that traded tax breaks and further exploitation of the American worker? How's that working out for you now? You too, are about to have hell to pay... 

What will the Dems do to save the nation? I wish they had more chutzpah but they don't. The republicans play them like a fiddle on a good day. SMH... Will they now appreciate the necessity to stop traveling that lonely high road traversed by only them and instead put intelligence, gut and determination to playing this nasty game called politics? Decorum be damned! Statesmanship and protocol out the window. Stop reaching across the aisle. There is no one reaching back. republicans are not your friends! republicans are not America's friends... 

What will We the People who did NOT elect donald trump do? He has never lied about or hidden his desire to install a dictator form of government. A mad, angry, mentally challenged and undeveloped semblance of a human being, much less a man, is at the helm. Have you supported him or been complicit in your silence? Lots of folks have lots of soul searching to do right now. Smart Americans have fled already. Stay gone! Incredibly, I am still here. Sigh... 

Yes, this feels like doom and gloom compounded exponentially. We were already exhausted by this administration and 4 years of the shenanigans of trump, putin and mitch. It is now that we really get to see what folks are made of, who are our friends and allies, what is the true spirit of Americans. What will be our response? Sadly, decent republicans are spineless too. It is them at this point who can stop this train wreck that they have conducted. Will they grow a pair? Not betting my money on it... 

Forgive my early morning and initial ramblings, much like my ramblings I blogged on the dawning of that dreadful day in November 2016. The tunnel seemed dark then, it is incredibly darker now. Looking forward to the warmth of sunshine that seems an ever elusive commodity... 

RIP Justice Ginsburg... 

RIP the illusion of what was America, you marketed yourself well. The truth of America however will now be revealed. Masks still in place. Sheets now permanently removed...

On Chadwick Boseman

What's In A Name?

I was thinking of Chadwick today and I thought what's in a name? How many Black men, from South Carolina no less, do we know who are named Chadwick? (smile) In giving him such an important sounding name, his parents planted a seed, that surely they watered, of expectations of greatness and excellence from him. Certainly he lived up to that and so much more.

Chadwick was a learned, wise and seemingly very kind and selfless man. He was not only a dreamer but a doer. He was a determined and confident man unafraid to pursue his dreams. He was regal. He was proud! He was a winner! He lived with purpose and on purpose! He gave others hope, especially children suffering from cancer when he knew he had cancer himself. Something a Chadwick would do... 

There IS something in a name especially when reinforced with love and adoration. What we are told about ourselves daily, even subliminally, matters, especially by our parents. It affects us in more ways than we can ever know. His parents, by way of his name, reminded him that he was regal and special and that great things were expected of and awaiting him. Calling him Chadwick, told him everyday that he was a King and a King he was! #Wakanda Forever! 

Our King T'Challah has gone home to be with the Ancestors. I am sure they welcomed him with open arms as a son who had done well in their honor. We have lost a really, really good, tireless and worthy soldier. Say his name...

Look at that smile...

First Reaction

Its hard not to ask "why?". He had so much promise, will and determination. For four years he worked HARD knowing he had stage III cancer. He unselfishly gave joy to others AND wedded the love of his life...

Call it will and determination which speaks to his roots, our roots and the resilience that we have and that sustains us as Black people. We must never forget...

He has gone to rest with his/our resilient Ancestors who undoubtedly welcomed him but still I ask "why"?. Not for me to know...

Chadwick was placed on this earth and he damn sure did his job on earth. He hustled between his dashes and left his mark for us to enjoy and admire forever more... Rest young warrior rest...

Look at his eyes. He was a wise and chosen soul...

Congressman John Lewis, My "Good Trouble" Role Model

Those who knew me in 2008, know that I was on the Obama train pretty early in the game when many were not. They were loyal to the Clintons. John Lewis was one of those persons. The Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) was actually split down the middle. It was an interesting time. I recall John Lewis making a tearful announcement of his endorsement of Barack Obama's candidacy. He was torn. The Clintons were his friends and they had been in the trenches together for many years. Understood. But he had to do the right thing. He was in Congress to represent his constituents and they were overwhelmingly backing Barack. Eventually Congressman Lewis came around. I was quite pleased and wrote to tell him so. Going through old emails, I found this one penned to him upon his announcement. This morning, I am sharing my walk down memory lane with you...

February 28, 2008

Congressman Lewis,

I cannot express fully enough just how proud I am of your decision to announce your support of Senator Obama. This is truly history in the making. After eight years of divisiveness, mean spiritedness and total indifference emanating from the White House and most of "conservative" America, this is an awakening, a catalyst for change and perhaps a time for healing in our country. Undoubtedly, it is the shot of positive reinforcement and vibrant energy that Black America needs. It is so beautiful to see us standing together supporting something/someone that is OH SO POSITIVE and believing in US! It is unacceptable that too many of our elected officials do not stand with us..., so yes I am PROUD that you made what seemed a very difficult decision.


It is my prayer that this rejuvenated and collective sense of pride and belief in ourselves and our capabilities will transcend this election and spill over into other aspects of our community. We are in desperate need of a healing, Black on Black murder rates are through the roof, too much teenage pregnancy - still, boys walking around with pants and their respect falling off their butts, video vixens are seemingly role models for far too many of our girls, desecration of the English language is applauded and spilling over into mainstream, a commitment for education has been replaced with a commitment to being cool, talking fast and making lots of money, vague regard for our history or for those such as yourself who have sacrificed so that we can be... I could go on and on.... So in light of all of that, yes I applaud and fully support the advancement of a young positive, electrifying, Black male role model. It is a testament to who we really are and far cry better than what the media prefers to portray. It is quite refreshing.


We NEED the CBC to support that image and to shield Barack as he is in for some trying times. He has looked to you all as his role models and his inspiration, especially you. The sharks are circling and are about to attack. As our history has taught us, there is a very big force in this country that does not want most folks, particularly those of color and/or poor, to think, to hope, or to believe that they can do better. They will be relentless in their efforts to tear Barack, his dream and his image as a positive Black male down. They will do anything to diffuse this renewed sense of hope, pride, unity and dignity amongst the masses. Again, he needs, WE need you to stand up and "get in the way"... Run defense (or is it offense? I know NOTHING about football - smile) for him, if you will... So welcome aboard. I pray other members of the CBC follow your lead and get on board very soon... Sadly, I think it to their detriment if they do not...


The Senator's campaign is powerful and positive inspiration for so many. His message to ALL folks, not just Black folks, is "YES YOU CAN" if you just Believe in YOU!!!" But more importantly, his dream is what I believe you and so many others fought, died, got beaten, abused, humiliated, disrespected but ultimately stood for. So that someone like Obama could dare have the audacity to not only hope for himself and his children, but the audacity to hope for a better nation, and the hope to inspire so many others from ALL sectors of our society. This has GOT to be the Dream that Dr. King spoke of and the pathway to the Beloved Community you envision...


Again, PROUD that you have announced what was no doubt a very difficult decision. I appreciate your affection for the Clintons. Most of us share your sentiment and I truly hope that at the end of this they remain a favored family in the Black community. I truly do... That being said...


Welcome aboard My Friend! Still one your most avid supporters and still following your lead of "getting in the way!"


Respectfully,
Helen L. Higginbotham, Esq/MBA


PS. Would love to do lunch again... My treat!

The Beat That Must Not Go On...

Three days ago I wrote a Facebook post entitled "My Take" (see below) on trump's inevitable removal from the white house post November's election. He is a POS, he will lose by a landslide and he will not step down. Count on it. He is corrupt and ruthless. He has lied about many things but has shown us his truth in this regard. For whatever reason, America, on both sides of the aisle at this point, but especially the repugs', have fallen in line with this vicious maniacal subhuman 100% devoid of conscious or capacity to feel, much less think. The closer we get to his demise marking the end of his terror and the more his popularity and influnence wane, the more dangerous and vile he becomes. This tax evading treasonistic egotistical draft dodger is itching to be a wartime "president". There are no wars launched by him so he will create one even if between We the People right here in these United States of America. He, nor the petty men who hold him up, is not concerned about death and destruction of the country "they love", only protecting their white male imagery and seemingly the lunacy of a bonafide and rabid madman.

We have learned many things during this four year reign of terror. One thing for sure has been confirmed, generally speaking of course, still, white men could give a damn about their legacy, their children, how they will be regarded in history nor the earth they will leave to be inherited by their offspring. As we've heard and seen this story before, we know how it ends if allowed to play out. Generally speaking, white men could give two shits about their children nor the planet, all that seems of relevance for these white men is an insane accumulation of wealth and of course power, be there no people or earth upon whom to expend that wealth or power. And "good" men sit idly by as our nation is consumed and further corrupted beyond repair.

The affects of the pandemic are not the only "new normal" we seem to have accepted. I have ceased questioning what will be the straw in trump's antics that breaks the camel's back. He IS that child who keeps pushing the envelope to see just far his parents will allow him to go. America has taken this 'time out' shit to a new crazy! This is a child who well deserves being abused. There have been so many incredibly unbelievable moments that would have ended many a worthy and real politician's career yet this man, who knows no boundaries nor cares anything about politics or protocol, is left to run the country like a mafioso dictator and has gone unchecked and damn near unchallenged (in any real way); roger stone, Russian attacks on American soldiers, children in cages, disrespect of American intelligence and veterans, a private militia invading America cities and America has essentially said nothing. It boggles the mind! Americans are not horrified? Have we not seen this before?

trump does not act alone. At this point, he acts with America's complicity and grace. America the great will go down as America the great victim. Historically, she has been the victimizer. She has now conceded to being the victimized. The breaking of America. It's incredible to watch. trump will not leave peacefully in November. He has lied about many things but for once he speaks the truth. He and ALL republicans, who share the blood on trump's hands, MUST go! Our military will either defend a crazy man hell bent on taking over our nation or they will honor their oath to defend the constitution and the nation they offered and risked their lives to serve.

Here we are once again in history facing a turning point. Which road will we travel? I am hopeful that trump will break his last straw long before November and that American people, the Democrats, Independents, Green and all other political parties and/or ideologies and our military will stand in unity and finally say ENOUGH and finally fight back against this coup in plain sight of America! How ironic would it be that despite his divisive and racist mission, it will be trump's hate that unifies this broken and divided nation? Now THAT would be poetic and would truly make this new, post pandemic, America deservedly great! Even those who don't like or respect America will watch in awe, relief and astonishment at our commitment, courage and American spirit to save our democracy instead of in pity, shock, sheer horror and utter disbelief at our current lack of will in the face of tyranny.

Stop the Music... 

My Take:

He loses in November, even though by a landslide, ignoring that #everybodyhatestrump, he claims victory by way of voter fraud, paid electoral college members or some other desperate means, he refuses to leave and tries to maintain he and putin's occupation. 70% of America, that hate and are exhausted by him, and the Dems, FINALLY will rise up against this band of loudmouth, corrupt and/or complicit bullies and their coup of our nation. We will say hell no!, your ass MUST go! To which he riles his base of deplorable bikers, kkk defeated flag waving confederates, to circle the White House with their personal arsenals to defy his eviction and the will of the American majority, to block his removal to which the Dems call in the military to throw out the garbage. The bike riding, hood wearing deplorable kkk terrorists are ordered to leave because cops don't shoot white men even when being menacing, threatening and bearing arms. Ultimately they will leave. While I love the vision of trump being paraded before the nation in cuffs and much to the delight of the rest of the civilized world, trump however will have slipped out to Russia with putin, still talking shit from afar but never to return. His band of angry racists will burn down the white house before they leave but the reign of trump/pence/republican terror will be over. We will rejoice along with our international friends who have also endured our hell and watched the dismantling of America in sheer shock and horror. There will be epic celebrations worldwide! Americans will regroup, fix all of the shit he fucked up, starting with saving American lives by addressing COVID-19, rebuild an even better white house and keep it moving. The republican party is done! The Democrats finally grow a pair and deviate from that glorified "high road" traveled only by them. All will be better in the world. Not perfect but damn better!

The End

~ Miss Higgi

Facebook post July 20, 2020