Millennials & Privilege in "Post Racial" America...

For all who believe and wage your hopes and bets for America on the realization of post racial millennials, just remember, the hippies were similarly perceived. When the rubber hits the road and the time comes to share or relinquish or for some, to even acknowledge that which comes with the mere designation of white skin, attitudes will change.

Just a few days ago, I was sharing with some folks that I attended a mostly White school. During grades K- 8, I was the only or one of two, three if I was lucky, Black students in my class. We were unceremoniously and unashamedly grouped according to academic standing ("A" Class, "B" Class, "C" Class, "D" Class). Who are the educators who did this? I need not ask why. The reasons are obvious. It is disturbing because it was intentional and deliberately divisive on so many fronts...

All through school however, I got along well with my peers, both Black and White. The intended barriers had no effective or lasting affect on my experience. While they joked that I sounded or talked like a White girl, Black students did not jeer me or call me a sell out, uncle tom or ban me from their circles. I think they mostly celebrated in our own way, that I represented for US in the "A" Class. "The Higginbothams were [Black and we were] smart". My White peers also liked me. Many still think I was Senior Class President, because always I have been vocal and present. For sure, I was voted Homecoming Queen [I was shocked my cheerleading braggadocious Mom was not - Love me some her!!!], only the second in our school's history. It was a popularity contest. So in other words, even though some grown ass and likely not so happy photographer failed to have a decent photo of my victory for the yearbook (oh there was prejudice) they, my White peers, got me and I got them. We were together in some capacity for 13 years; K thru 12. We grew up together...

For as long as I remember, and certainly by middle or high school, I have always celebrated my Blackness, never shying away from who I am or trying to be something or someone I am not. I do not recall ever trying to or feeling the need to be or act White to fit in. I remember that as early as 3rd or 4th grade, a cousin who had teenage cousins shared with us that the older kids had told him that we did not have to salute the flag. We were only required to stand. So as early as that I only stood. I stopped saying the words and crossing my heart. The words did not ring true or pertinent to me, not even as a child. Something about that "justice for all". It was the 60's... I remember too that long before Martin Luther King Day was a holiday, my Mother allowed that in a show of support for it to become a holiday and in solidarity with other Black students, that my siblings and I did not go to school.

So for as long as I can recall, I have found my way to be my authentic self and still remain credible in both worlds, Black and White. I was under no delusion that I straddled two worlds. We went home to very different communities. My neighborhood was 100% Black and had been so for at least two generations. My Mom grew up there. It was familiar and I liked going home. In retrospect and very gratefully, I think I learned early in life that people appreciate realness. I learned early to unapologetically be my authentic self...

Fast forward to my 10 year high school reunion. Things changed. Some of my peers had changed. The "cool" kids did not seem so cool. We were no longer children in the protective environment of academia or the innocence of youth. We were now grown, had gone off to college or whatever it was we decided to do. We had significant others and had been exposed to politics and who knows what other kinds of influences to change us. As children, I do not recall our ever discussing politics, religion, income or even race (beyond some really superficial innocuous comments). We might have known that someone was Catholic, who was Italian, Polish or Irish, Black or Puerto Rican or who were the families more well off but we did not have deep discussions on any of these topics, certainly not politics and race. Some were certainly regarded prejudice, especially some of the teachers and administrators, but they were few and mostly covert. There were no known skin-heads or honorary kkk members amongst us, not as far as we knew... Don't get me wrong, we were conscious of race. It was not Utopia. There are stories to tell but mostly, we got along...

I was happy and excited to go to my 10 year reunion. I had been with these people for all of my child life. I wanted to see them and catch up on what we were all doing. My graduating class of less than 100 was 10% or so Black. Only me and my Black boyfriend showed up. LOL! No real surprise there. Some of the "cool" White kids did not come either. It has been 40 years and I have never seen some of them again as they have also rejected subsequent reunions. I get it. It is based on experience. Mine was mostly good...

I remember some of the students I felt most close to in high school and looked forward most to seeing, were now very standoffish and not so excited about seeing me. It was a wake up call. I learned that day that life had shaped us. These were not the kids I grew up with who were innocent and not fixated on race despite what their parents might have told them about Black folks at home. They were not the kids who voted me Homecoming Queen and who would have shared their marbles and their privilege with me. They had been touched by the world and like the hippies before them, had become their parents whose ideologies they might have previously rejected or not been aware of as children. The hippies before them became the establishment they rejected as will they... My peers had come to know their standing, what had been preserved for them, they wore it proudly and stood ready to accept and even if unknowingly, protect it for the next generation as their parents had done for them. Although I did not understand it as such then, I have come to realize now that what they were protective of stood fully prepared to preserve was their privilege. Helen Who??? I heard them...

So post racial millenials will be so until such time they come to know and really benefit on their own, not through their parents, their privilege and entitlements, better described as their standing of preferential treatments in life. History tells us that they will not relinquish or share their marbles or privilege with their "good friends" either... They too will deny the existence of any such privilege
especially if they knew hard times or grew up poor. They will deny how societal systems are structured to benefit them. I optimistically hope to be wrong about my pessimistic views regarding our youth but I would not bet one single of my marbles that I am... 

See What I mean?
Data Source: National Longitudinal Surveys

James Weldon Johnson said it best, Black folks, not because we want to but as a matter of survival, understand White folks [better than] even when they don't [want to] understand themselves. Try as they may, White folks alternatively, still do not understand us. Their life or existence does not      dictate to them that they have to... To borrow a term, Black folks are "Caucasian Anthropologists" who have become successfully schizophrenic as we have learned to naturally adapt our presentations and even our thinking according to the situation at hand. Call it Black survival in a jungle of whiteness... 

On the Matter of Abortion...

On yesterday, 25 "men", with the support of a "woman" governor in the state of Alabama passed the most restrictive bill ever in opposition to a woman's right to have an abortion. I have never had an abortion in my life and I am not even sure I could have BUT it is and should ALWAYS be my decision resulting from an internal discussion I had with myself and with whomever I CHOSE to include beyond me. I feel and fear for women still in their reproductive years... 

This obsession old and/or undesirable white "men" have with women's bodies has nothing to do with abortion but has everything to do with protecting whiteness and keeping the "little misses" in line, making sure women know our place and that it is them, White "men", who are still in charge. Sadly insecure women, largely the 53%, blindly follow their "men" no matter the potential of risk, harm or shame to themselves, their daughters or to other women.

What kind of inhumane, unfeeling, heartless monster or womanless woman would force a woman or child who has been raped or exposed to incest to carry that baby to term? What kind of womanless woman supports, marries or stays married to this poor excuse of a "man"? Never will it be their loved one who is forced to endure this kind of inhumane injustice, just other people's wives, daughters and girlfriends who don't have the means to find refuge to otherwise protect or take care of herself. It is all quite sad...

If in fact these god-awful subhuman "politicians" could pass legislation preserving only the lives of White babies, no matter how conceived or how poor or young the Mother, they would. Black, Brown, Red & Yellow women could have abortions all day, everyday. There would be no backlash. As a matter of fact, there would be unlimited resources to fund all such efforts. Historically and still women with melanin have been sterilized with or without our consent. Dream legislation for them would prohibit abortions for White women and girls but mandate the procedure for the rest of us ensuring maintenance of white dominance or white majority status thus ensuring longevity or sustaining life for the continuity of closely held, logic defying delusions of white greatness, superiority and/or supremacy...

Discard the hype. Throw away the mantra. Abortion has never been about religion or any of the other things the masses have been taught to parrot or shout at already emotional women entering or exiting abortion clinics but ALWAYS about fear of extinction of the white race by insecure and evil white "men" who know their history and who understand and fear karma even more...

Hang in there women. I am sorry that this settled matter about OUR bodies remains. Fight on...

Public Representations; What Do They Say?

I have serious mixed emotions about this matter in Texas wherein the school Principal, Carlotta Browne, sent a letter home detailing a dress code for parents, well maybe not... I don't think the Principal, who has been celebrated for her good work and commitment to the community, meant harm in her directive. She graduated from that school and aspired to be Principal there. She is probably heart broken by some of what she sees and is determined to turn it around. Good For Her! She went "back to her hood", which we say we want our professionals to do so give her a break.

She achieved her dream to lead the school and this is a positive message to send to those who live there, especially the young people. How sad that any folks, but especially Black folks, grown ups, need to be reminded of how to appropriately present ourselves in public. Folks have lost all sense of decorum and pride as they roll out of bed to go to the grocery store, 7-11, to walk the dog or to their children's school. I don't like seeing people in their pajamas and I don't care what race they are. It's just tacky. Just as tacky as sagging pants and some of the other restrictions on her list. Yes it is one's right but damn!

Sometimes we have to consider the messenger. In this instance, I have heard nothing that questions this woman's motive, intent or commitment to the community she serves. I am going to yield on the side that she wrote and released this memo from a good place, not one purely of judgment, probably more from disbelief at how low some folks go which we probably have not seen the worst of. We have all seen it. She called it. Good for her!

What is wrong with us policing us? Stop the madness. She is pretty much saying take ownership and control of your image and the perceptions it transmits. It is up to us to change or manage our narrative. I support her narrative... Folks are calling it classism and accusing that she is putting down her own people. Again, what is her intent? I err in favor of her record of caring and put this move in that category. I ask WHY would we defend Black folks not taking ownership for our image, whether it is for our right to wear our natural hair, ethnic clothing, or men with facial hair? We got mad at some point about each of those situations because other folks tried to dictate that we compromise our culture. It is not our culture, to present ourselves in ways as demonstrated by these parents and others. I get the bad hair day, but there are beautiful scarves, hats, WIGS or the like. No need to be in the street with a sleeping net on one's head. IJS...

Call me a prude. I'm OK with that. I, too, am sick of seeing it; Black folks, White folks or whoever. Take a minute to get it together before embarrassing your kids at school. I would have been mortified if my Mom came to my school or presented herself in public as some folks I see here in this video and in my daily ventures, as would most who are condemning the principal for taking steps to control. At least she's got the conversation going and hopefully raised the consciousness of at least a few folks. Kids get bullied for far less. Don't add to their drama. Be presentable...

My Humble Opinion...

Mayor Pete...

This NY Times article is not good for "Doogie Howser" as one of the persons commenting on the story referenced Mayor Pete. He wants us to believe that he never heard tapes of White police officers speaking disparagingly about Black folks and on hearsay alone, at the start of his term, he fired a popular and well liked Black Police Chief? That seems incredible. The tapes must be salacious and vile against Black folks. WHY would the Mayor throw the Black Police Chief under the bus so early in his tenure? To score points with whom? Why wouldn't he have wanted to take a strong stand and rid the police department of the cancer of racism? Would his response have been the same if the content of the tapes were vile and anti-Gay?

Gay Americans claim to align themselves with Black Americans and identify with our civil rights issues and then things like this happen that suggest otherwise. This accounting does not indicate in any way that Mayor Pete reached out to work with, to service or improve conditions for Black constituents in any real way. To our chagrin however, the article suggests that we, Black folks, overwhelmingly supported his re-election bid in the primaries against a Black candidate AFTER the tape incident. SMH... Now I don't know the politics and of course all skin folks ain't kinfolk, but WHY do WE keep shooting ourselves in the foot and extinguishing our voice politically? Ferguson is another town where we seem not to vote according to our representation despite the horrors of politics against our interest in that city too.

This is going to be an interesting saga to watch unfold. Released tapes or not, at some point, Mayor Pete is going to have to address what appears a dismal or lackluster record in the Black and Brown communities. No Democrat can win a national election without our support. I will stay tuned. So far, I am not on board Ship Buttigieg...

This is a long but worthy read. Mayor Pete is a popular candidate. We must get to know him...

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/19/us/politics/buttigieg-black-police-chief-fired.html?fbclid=IwAR09dFvo49ZmAgMIzu_yYtkaJ0mazWIqFVbq14Ukz8vTzs5w9YNK0d49UyA#commentsContainer

ANOTHER Morning After...

A friend said this morning that she is disturbed that trump "has won again". I say that he has not won again and instead reiterate once again that the very presence and possibility of trump in the white house tells you just how truly vulnerable, dysfunctional, broken and terribly flawed is our system of government. Certainly it is not FOOL-proof!!! The very presence and grim reality of trump tells us that once this nightmare is over an overhaul is in large order as there is MUCH to be repaired to prevent a repeat occurrence.

trump is but the expected result or the face of long standing problems exponentially compounded on both sides of the aisle; with few exceptions; apathy, conciliation and displaced affection for "taking the high road" despite traveling it alone on one side, greed, ruthlessness and zero moral character on the other, the American people caught in the middle. The reality of trump was inevitable in a country that has failed to govern FOR We the People. Corporations, who now are also "persons", like trump. He is giving them their due for what they pay our elected officials to deliver.

We might never know the contents of the report. Only a fool however thinks it totally exonerates trump as we are being told and sadly the media is seemingly repeating without question despite having full knowledge of the low character of those who are feeding us this information. SMH...

IF the report vindicated this asshole, trust and believe, he likes to be right and beneath the many layers of his pathology, he wants desperately to appear as "cool", to be liked, respected and validated as a legitimate POTUS and would give ANYTHING to be able to prove all others wrong and him right. IF the report vindicated him, his ego would not allow him to contain himself. He personally WOULD print and release the report for bragging rights if for no other reason. This and that it has been substantiated that Russia did interfere in our election, should be the strategic challenge put forth by the Dems. IF in fact the report is ever released, it will be either long after his death or certainly long after the 2020 election. He is a grimy, scheming, manipulative bastard who has been playing this game, that now includes the American people, in this way for a very long time...

Not sure when or how this shit storm will pass; but it will, hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime, pass the opioids as America continues to search for means to cope with this very present and very sad reality of America. Something tells me that this asshole and the puppet republicans are likely just getting started with distractions of proportions we have not seen before. Be comforted however that at some point we WILL join hands and sing in unison with nations around the globe that Happy Days Are Here Again. This is but another morning after and this TOO SHALL pass...


Turn off the boob tube, draw your own logical and much more intelligent conclusions and make it a GREAT Monday!!!

Never Should We Forget...

Yesterday I was at a conference and listened to the affects of the comments of a Black woman panelist who seemingly impressed upon young Black Prep School students that her success was grounded in her ability to effectively "code switch". Her message suggested more than just turning on and off the vernacular or the rhythm to our flow, toning down or abandoning slang or colloquialism that we enjoy when speaking amongst ourselves, or God forbid, that we adopt the sound of being ARTICULATE in our presentation of us, as many are often shocked that we are no matter our level of education. What I heard her telling those young and impressionable people, Prep Schoolers and Law Students alike, was that when in the presence of white folks, in the workplace specifically, to turn off who they are, to leave their authentic selves out of the room, code switch to be as white as they could. That bothered me.

Of course I made comments to the entirety of the room but made a special point to speak individually to the young Preppers. I told them to never abandon who they are and impressed upon them, young and very bright young girls, that they will be invited into the room because of who they are. I told them to, of course, always be professional, be pleasant and of course speak well...., but never abandon the essence of YOU. I reminded them that when they get to that table that they sit there not for themselves but for those who came before and who will come after them and that it is their responsibility to make a way and/or reach back and bring others with them...

In the long run code switching, as was seemingly being suggested, does not serve us well. It is too hard, too stressful and leads to too many problems, emotionally, physically, medically, mentally for us. Trying to be something we are not will kill us for sure, if not physically, certainly spiritually... And to what end? To whose gain? Perhaps that is not what the panelist was saying but that is what I heard and I didn't even hear her opening remarks where apparently she laid the foundation for her position. More importantly, it was what several in the audience heard who approached and thanked me for my remarks offering a counter message...

Be careful of the message we send to our youth. They hear us and will be guided by what we say and do. Send them the message of the poor baby in this picture below. We are a mighty and resilient people who have been through some serious shit and no matter how hard others have tried to break us or to break our spirit, that STILL WE RISE...

Walk into every room you enter, invited or not, unapologetically exuding a level of confidence that honors yourself and our Ancestors and you will be just fine, sane and most importantly you will rest peacefully every night even when others can't handle who you are. Believe that more often than not, people respect people who respect themselves... Don't take on the burden of making others feel comfortable about about themselves or their insecurities. Theirs is not your problem... .

THAT is what we need to tell our youth. Teach them nothing short of dignity and self pride not the art of code switching pretending themselves into nonrelevance and/or non-existence. Do it not only for them and the continuity and pride of our race and community but do it to remedy the pain, sadness and undeniable hopelessness and helplessness exuding from the baby pictured below. Do it because everyday we stand on his shoulders and because it is in his honor that STILL, WE MUST RISE!!!

                           

Never Should We Forget...

February 12th, Then & Now...

The snow is just beginning to fall in Harlem. Thankfully I am watching it from a window in my apartment. I will deal with it tomorrow... 

On this day, February 12, 1987, 32 years ago, I lost my Mom, my very best FRIEND!!! It is a day I will never forget. I had reluctantly just left her bedside at Cooper Hospital in Camden, NJ to go to work in Atlantic City. I didn't want to leave but had just started my job and had been missing a lot of time already. She encouraged me to go and I promised her I would be back that night after work.

I don't remember which casino I was working for, but employees parked our cars away from the casinos on special lots set up for us somewhere on the Atlantic City Expressway before actually entering the city. A shuttle bus would transport us to and from the property. Because I went to the hospital first, it was going to be a late arrival for me so when I got to the shuttle stop, no other employess were there because most had already reported for work. While waiting for the next shuttle bus, I called the office to let them know that I was at the shuttle stop and on my way in. This was 1987, pre cell phones so I used a pay phone.

When I called in, the secretary or whoever answered told me that the hospital had called. I hung up and immediately called Cooper. I spoke to a young female doctor, I wish I knew her name to call her out in hopes that she has become a more compassionate and feeling doctor. My family had instructed that I only be told to come back to the hospital which was probably 45 minutes away. Instead, this young doctor nonchalantly told me that my Mother had just died as though she were telling me my menu choice for dinner was not available. I could not believe it. I had just left her. Yes she was sick and it was clear that the end was imminent but how could she have died so quickly? I had just left. I was a wreck! Of course I was and I was all alone there in the shelter enclosure at the shuttle parking lot. That doctor had no idea where I was, if I was alone, nor did she care. She had zero respect for me or the wishes of my family.

For a long time, I was haunted by the scream I let out when she told me that Mommy had died. It played like a loop in my head. It was especially magnified as I recalled it bouncing extra loudly off the walls surrounding me in that empty shelter enclosure at the shuttle stop. I was all alone in a parking lot in the middle of an expressway not knowing what to do. I could not think to process all that was happening to me. I will never forget it. My sister's boyfriend who also worked in a casino came to get me. We left my car at the shuttle stop and went directly to the hospital. It seemed an eternity for him to come rescue me, literally, and then for us to get to the hospital. I just remember that I wanted to see her so bad. I guess seeing her was all that would make it real...

I was not the person that I am today. I was 26 and not quite as firey. I remember having words with the doctor, that is how I know she was young. Today, I would have had her head as well as the woman I worked for at the casino, who I would also call by name if only I remembered it, who in the midst of the worst crisis of my life, unceremoninously fired me for missing too much time. Instead of flowers from the office, I got a pink slip! Oh yes she did. I was too young and too wounded at the time to fight. Lucky for both of them. Women! Don't tell me that women are more sensitive by mere virtue of gender. It just ain't so...

I did not start out to write this today. I only intended to comment on the snow falling in Harlem. But of course I am aware of what day it is. It remains the worst day of my life...

I am glad to be home today...