Feeling Bobbi Kristina's Pain...

I look at Bobbi Kristina and think of myself. My Mother was my world and we were very close when I lost her at the tender age of 26. Folks thought I was going to lose my mind, especially her Friends who also feared I would starve to death. Didn't cook or do laundry then, Don't cook and can barely do laundry now... (smile) SOMEBODY brought me dinner almost every night for weeks. I think partly to feed me, partly to see how I was doing. Thank you Village...

I knew I would be alright and I am pretty sure my Mom did too. Reminding myself to live in such a way that would make her proud, sustained and kept me going... My advice to those who still have parents is to treasure and do right by parents who treasured, sacrificed and did right by you. When they pass, you will only miss them. You will not suffer from regrets and guilt about what you coulda', shoulda' said or done... Make sure they know that you love them while they are here. You will find comfort in your selfless deeds and acts/expressions of love when they are gone. Trust me, to look back and know that your parent will say, "job well done son/daughter", will make a world of difference and console you greatly in your time of grief.

However, I do understand the overwhelming void Bobbi Kristina must feel. Immediately after the loss of my Mother is the ONLY time in life I was sure I wanted a child. Thankfully, I realized very quickly that it was not a child that I wanted as much as I wanted to have my Mother back. I wanted to replace the relationship. While I am sure motherhood is rewarding in its own right, I came to understand and appreciate that there is no replacing a Mother's love and I have never regretted not having children. Lesson: Don't make life decisions in the face of pain and uncertainty...

Bobbi Kristina was much younger and less rooted than I was when we lost our Mothers, 18 as compared to 26. I remember often thinking of a family in our neighborhood where the children had lost both of their parents at such a young age that the baby child called his big Sister, who was no older than me, "Mommy", which became her nickname. I thought of them and how little time they had to spend with their parents to console and give me strength in those times when I was feeling especially sorry for myself. It's all relative however when we are dealing with our own grief and pain. We all cope in different ways and we should never let others tell us how or how long to grieve or how to deal with our pain and NEVER let them tell you not to talk about your loved one. That person was a very intricate part of your life, of course you should talk about them and do whatever you can to keep their memory and love alive in your soul, in your mind, in your heart... Grief is a very personal state of mind. It is one of those times in life when we have license to self diagnose and counsel ourselves through what can be the greatest pain we will ever know. You can only do it your way and in your time... Family and True Friends will respect and support that...

Perhaps Bobbi Kristina did not have [or open up to] the village around her to make sure she was nourished, both mentally and physically. Perhaps she was not quite ready to grasp the concept that in time, things would get better, her pain would lighten and she would adjust. Perhaps she was just too young and too inexperienced in life...  Who knows? I just know that I feel her pain and hope that by the grace of God, she pulls through. Prayers...