At the Root of Root Canals

 

While I do believe there is a nexus between dental health and overall medical health, I cannot imagine that there is a correlation between breast cancer and root canals as suggested by someone in a video on Facebook, although I won't say it isn't true... Who knows?


I will say however, that something is going on with root canals that needs to be examined and disclosed to the public. Like, why are we doing them???


I am a 62-year-old with a pearly white smile who has had the misfortune of losing a couple of teeth over the last few years. EVERY one of them had a root canal! Have you had that experience with a root canal?


I'm not understanding why we are spending as much as 2,3,4 now 5 or $6000 to "save" a tooth that ultimately we're going to have to have pulled anyway... Just give us an implant from the beginning and be done with it.


I know two people plagued with dental problems who ultimately opted to have all of their teeth pulled and replaced with implants, an uncle did this many, many years ago. It was bold, daring, probably revolutionary and I'm sure quite costly. I have no idea what he spent. A friend did it more recently to the tune of $30K. Sound like a waste? Think about it. 5 or 6 root canals and God forbid other BS procedures they tell us we need, you will have spent twice that amount over the years. So why not cut your losses early and be done with it?


I am so disgusted and distrustful of dentistry right now as yet another tooth with a root canal is feeling vulnerable. I am afraid to eat on that side...


In reading comments of other unsatisfied root canal customers, there seems that something is going on with root canals that the public needs to know. I'm sure the dentists are aware of whatever is the[ir] dirty little cash cow secret and know that patients are right to question the legitimacy, efficacy or the necessity of the procedure.


Just two days ago, I had this very conversation with an endodontist. They specialize in root canals. He defended that if the crown is not affixed properly or separates from the gum, it allows for undetected decay of the tooth under the crown. Another dentist or maybe a hygienist explained that because the root canal tooth is encased in silver, decay can go undetected on exrays during routine cleaning examinations. Because the nerve has been removed from the tooth, the unsuspecting patient experiences no pain and has no way of knowing the tooth is decaying until it is too late.


So, WHY are we getting very costly and sometimes very painful root canals if ultimately the tooth has to be pulled anyway? Because it's a money grab! That's why!


Dentists make lots and lots of money and they don't catch any flack because of it. We talk incessantly about doctors and how they rip us off but nobody's looking at the dental industry. And that's a problem.


As much as I think the insurance industry should not dictate our medical care, someone needs to look at why are we having root canals. Rip us off once and simply do an implant at the start! Stop milking the public who has no way of knowing what to question or believe...


WHERE is protection for American consumers? It seems we have none! Question doctors and dentists. Get an independent second opinion of their advice and their work! Do your research and consider international dental and medical care if you have to. Its more affordable...


~ Miss Higgi Says

I awoke this morning to a very quiet and unusually undecorated house, remembering when I was a kid and how Christmas Eve seemed like the longest night of the year. We would wake up several times throughout the night, probably every hour, to find "Santa" not quite ready for us.


Life was so simple and the little things made us oh so happy. I don't know how my Mom and so many other poor or single parents did it but, somehow, they made sure we had joy! Thank God for lay-away! Does lay-away still exist? I hope so. It was so much more practical than credit...


We would squeal and scream with delight as we ripped paper off gift after gift excited to see what the other of us had gotten. Each of us would receive a "big" gift, a special gift that was just for you, something specific we had asked Santa for. Some of our other gifts were communal gifts, games and such intended for all of us. Always, somebody had a bike under the tree. Kids were still normal then. We played outdoors...


We would play with our new toys as Mommy prepared breakfast, usually hoe cake with lots of butter and Alaga or Karo syrup! How many of you know what hoe cake or Alaga or Karo syrup is? LOL!


Christmas music blared from the radio or record player. The Jackson 5 Christmas album was our favorite while Mommy loved Mahalia Jackson or Nat King Cole!!!


Ours was one of the most decorated houses in the neighborhood. Mommy adorned every window and every room, even the bathroom, with some sign of Christmas. Yep!, we only had one bathroom for six people! Imagine that! LOL!


There would be guests in and out all day before we would settle down and have a good Christmas dinner, always to include ham, greens, and lightly buttered Brown and Serve rolls among the rest of the smorgasbord. It was a day of pure, commercialized joy and family filled fun & delight! I don't know what families do now, but I sure hope it's some semblance of Christmas of old filled with memories to sustain them into old age...


As I got older, the joy was in flipping the script. I became the giver of joy, not the starry-eyed receiver. I bought gifts for everyone. My greatest joy, however, was giving the gift of joy to my Mom who had made so many Christmases, and so many other days, so joyous for me. I lived to reciprocate. She loved being spoiled by me as much as I loved spoiling her. She deserved it. Her friends would ask, what did "Lita" (that was her name for me - Black Mothers ALWAYS have special names for their children) get you this year. I took pride in giving her bragging rights. She, on the other hand, welcomed any opportunity to talk about her kids. Mommy Stop!!! LOL!!!


Those were surely wonderful years, years of simplicity filled with cheer and love...


As I enter this new season of holiday, joy and renewed life, I will reach back for my spirit to be buoyed by memories from days of old and pray that children and families today are experiencing something of the same sort...


Merry Christmas Ladies! Enjoy the wonders of the holiday season however it is that you celebrate or don't celebrate.


Make good use of this time off doing what you do! I would like to be on a beach somewhere just sittin' & chillin' in the blazing sun... Next year for sure! (smile)


Spread Love, Joy and Cheer Always!,
~ Miss Higgi
When Black Women Gather, LLC
Christmas 2022

The Train of Life

My Good Friend sent this poem to me. It is so beautiful, I had to share with you.


As we prepare to welcome the New Year, Consider your Train of Life & Pass it on...


Hello 2023!





                                   

                                          Author, Jean d'Ormesson

Be A Blessing...

On Sunday morning we were startled out of our apartments @ 6:30 AM to a false alarm for a fire. So rather than sit in my car, I drove to the local Wawa to get my favorite Chai tea. There is a reason for everything people...

The first Wawa I went to did not have my tea. I drove to the next. They're on every corner it seems...

When I exited the store, there was a homeless man who had no coat. He was visibly cold. Of course he was. It's 37°.

He wasn't asking for anything. Just standing there shaking. I gave him a dollar asked him where he lived. He said, I'm homeless. I said but where do you hang out? He said, in Bellmawr, which is a couple towns away. I asked how did you get here? He said I was in the hospital and somebody stole all my stuff.

I drove back to my apartment and packed a bag for him. Of course I only have girl stuff. I gave him a plaid, gender neutral,  Liz Clairborne wool jacket. He didn't mind. It was better than what he had. I gave him a scarf, some nice leather gloves with a fur lining, a couple of hats, $10 for his pocket and a blanket. He was so appreciative.

When I got back to the store at first I didn't see him. I was gonna' go looking for him when I saw him sweeping the far end of the parking lot. The store manager offered him a few dollars if he cleaned the parking lot. You could tell he was a nice guy. His name was Troy. Ask the homeless their name. Humanize your communication with them. Common courtesy...

So everything happens for reason folks. The second Wawa and not the first. The alarm in my building was for me to wake up to do something good for another human being.

I tell you this not to pat myself on the back but to encourage you to do the same for someone else. It takes so little to make someone else feel noticed and worthwhile and human... Homeless people say they feel invisible. Let them know that you see them...

And let us never forget that, "but for the grace of God", there go any one of us... No matter how high, any one of us could find ourselves in an unfortunate situation.

Troy feels good and I feel good about helping him. That's better than church!

It's Sunday! Help somebody. It truly is the little things that make us a big blessing to others.

Thank You God for allowing me to be able to help another.

~ Amen
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Good Sunday Morning Folks! Make it a Good Day!

P.S. I am going to keep a bag in my car for those I see in need. Let me know if you know someone in the Camden area in need of help. I have lots to give away.

Written Sunday, December 11, 2022

The Release of Brittney

So, let's give credit where credit is due. More often than not, I am critical of the Democrats for being cowardly and non strategic. I have to say that President Biden was especially strategic in the timing and choice of his release of Ms Griner from the grip of the evil Russians holding her hostage for the past several months.

1) He waited until after not only the midterms, but after winning the Georgia Senate seat, to release her and 2) no matter what he and the Democrats say, they know they cannot win a national election without Black voters, certainly not without Black women. Black Americans are their most loyal base. So of course they traded the Black woman prisoner ahead of the white male journalist. 

I would imagine to some that seems unfair since he's been there for 4 years. Biden may be old but but he's no fool. He knows he will need the Black community to win and he fully intends to run in 2024. Call it playing to your base even if the Democrats refuse to acknowledge Black voters as their base. Now let's get our brother home too...

Dems can court all the other voters they want, the gay community, the Latino vote, white women voters, whoever but if Black people ever decide to sit out an election, the Democrats are toast and don't stand a chance of winning a national election. If only Black voters could learn to recognize, leverage and make demands using our untapped power, we would be a viable and unstoppable force for all to reckon with. Even the Dems fear that. Trust and believe they do...

I'm just glad our Sistah is home. I hope those evil Russians who played her as a pawn in their vicious game of roulette, didn't damage her spirit in any way.

But good job Democrats! Try to make this your normal stance. Grow a pair.  Take chances.  Be brave. Be strategic. Be leaders! Make us proud to call ourselves Democrat. Play to YOUR base! Those other folks with whom you are so occupied converting, are never gonna' support you anyway. Normal, straight thinking Americans, excepting the extreme left, are the majority in this country. Carry a big stick and walk like it! Take a detour from that "high road". Check the rear view mirror. No one traveling there but you...

Miss Higgi Says, Good Move President Biden!

Welcome Home Brittney!!!

The Messaging of the Candidacy of Herschel Walker

My first thought upon reading this quote was, ain't that the truth!, as it pertained to Herschel Walker. But then I thought, as was the assault of the candidacy, and eventual presidency, of donald trump against the American people...

Both candidates speak volumes about the regard of the republican party not only for Black Americans, but for the nation and Americans in general.

Thankfully we escaped one nightmare but Black republicans must do some soul searching because promotion and preference of the sheer incompetence, blatant ignorance and observable stupidity of Herschel over Black lawyers, Black educators, Black business people and other capable Black professionals who are dedicated members of that party is most certainly a slap in the face to them, their dignity, their standing, their loyalty and is cause for questioning their overall membership in the party of red. They should be asking themselves why are they there? What value does their membership hold in their party of choice?

Herschel's candidacy was equivalent to running Jethro Clampett (The Beverly Hillbillies),minus the bib overalls, for office and that would never happen. Before you offer donald trump, remember, they didn't choose trump, trump chose their party to execute his shenanigans.

Before the republican leadership began sipping the bleach, they were appalled by the mere suggestion of trump. He hijacked their party through their illiterate party base which came to realize that they were the base and the power of the republican party and accordingly, took command. 

Party leadership was forced to accept trump but always the true blue bloods, or the "bow ties", as I call them, of the republican party have been disgusted by him right from the start, especially because they knew they could never control him. 

Herschel?, not so much. He would have been a good puppet no matter the string they pulled, he would have obeyed. Accordingly, not even the bow ties raised an objection to his representation of them. They were not offended nor threatened by him, because he represented their image of what Black America should like. He was docile, controllable, obedient, manageable, therefore grateful, conforming and non threatening. It seems otherwise however, that the "bow ties" have conceded their party to the "hee haws". The republicans have been consumed by the beast they fed long before the rise of trump. Gobble, gobble...

In keeping with their red line (pun intended) thinking, the repugs surmised they had to run a Black guy against the Black guy Democratic candidate.

Remember their installation of Michael Steele, who they had previously rejected, in the face of Obama, Black guy against the Black guy to counter accusations of republican racism, same strategy. Unlike Walker, they couldn't control Steele but at least he was not an assault on the dignity and intelligence of Black America. At least he fit the bill in terms of presentation and qualifications. Steele served his purpose and now he is gone. Herschel is a slap in the face to the Black community but unlike Steele, he would have been a good, appreciative and well serving minstrel.

Hopefully, both parties have learned that not just any Black face will do to entice Black voters who are not as gullible as the repugs clearly had planned, albeit the race was far too close. A qualified Black candidate might have swayed enough Black voters to clinch the victory for the republicans. Their racist foundation would not allow them to perceive as much or show even a modicum of respect for the intelligence or dignity of the Black community. Thank God! Keep running the likes of Herschel. Black folks will continue to meet you at the polls no matter the obstacles you put in place.

Thankfully Georgia stepped up to say "hell no" to the buffoonery! But as was the case with trump, America must examine and ask herself, what does the appeal of either of these observably stupid candidates say about America as a country? Certainly, it is not favorable for a nation perceived and who touts itself as a "world leader"...

Rest well Georgia. Your work is done, for now. The rest of the nation thanks you. Herschel Walker, the Heisman trophy winning football player, was soundly defeated last night in his bid for the US Senate. I hear there is a coaching vacancy at Jackson State University... 

Manage Your Windows

Is the browser on your computer screen a reflection of your life? Take a look at the top of your screen. How many windows do have open? I'll wait... (smile)

If you're like me, there are MANY open windows, too many open windows and you forget why you opened at least half of them!

So, how about you? Are there a lot of open windows on your browser? Does it correlate with how many open windows there are in your life (i.e. tasks, projects, commitments, responsibilities)? How are you managing the open windows in your life and on your browser or are the open windows managing you?

Are the windows in your browser a sign of a life that is well oiled and organized or one that is overwhelmed and filled with anxiety? Do your open windows represent peace, calmness and order or clutter, chaos and disorganization? Do the open windows in your life feel sometimes all consuming? Is it time to close some of those windows? You get to decide.

I ask again, how many windows are open on your browser? Take a moment this morning to think about how to prioritize the windows in your life...


That's what is on my mind this morning. Good Saturday Morning Folks! Make it a good one! Manage your windows!

They Were Not Her Friends...

 

Miss Higgi Says:

Can we please stop calling those monsters that killed our Sistah in Mexico her "friends"? They were not Shanquella Robinson's friends as are we on social media who put the pressure on refusing to let mainstream media and law enforcement ignore the death, potential murder, or missing status, of yet another Black Woman. 

Her traveling companions were parading as her friends. They were clearly envious of her, her success, her beauty, her personality. Something... but they were not her friends. 

Friends are not jealous of you. Friends fix your crown when it is tilted. Friends cheer for you. Certainly, they do not beat and  murder you...

If people in your life are not cheering you on or if you suspect that they envy you even just a little, get rid of them! Protect yourself. Remove them from your circle... 

Love And Miss Her Still...

It just occurred to me today would be my Mother's 81st birthday. I have lived more years without her but the years I lived with her were the most rich and rewarding...

Value those who love you. Love them back richly, deeply, unconditionally, and unapologetically. Give them their roses above ground. 

Happy Birthday Mommy! I Love and Miss You Still...

What to The Party is Herschel Walker?

Although scribed and spoken nearly 140 years ago, the words below of the late and great Frederick Douglass seem so appropriate as we consider the reported closeness of the Senate race in Georgia between two Black men, an admittedly inexperienced former football player, Herschel Walker and incumbent Senator, Raphael Warnock.

Read the excerpt below and consider what is happening in Georgia and ask yourself why, how is it, that still, it is applicable today. Was Frederick Douglass psychic or have hearts and minds remained unchanged? Hmmm...

Pass it on, especially to your friends in Georgia.

Though the colored man is no longer subject to barter and sale, he is surrounded by an adverse settlement which fetters all his movements.

In his downward course he meets with no resistance, but his course upward is resented and resisted at every step of his progress.

If he comes in ignorance, rags and wretchedness he conforms to the popular belief of his character, and in that character he is welcome; but if he shall come as a gentleman, a scholar and a statesman, he is hailed as a contradiction to the national faith concerning his race, and his coming is resented as impudence.

In one case he may provoke contempt and derision, but in the other he is an affront to pride and provokes malice.”



Frederick Douglass

Negro Men Convention

Louisville, KY

September 24, 1883

VOTE PEOPLE VOTE!

Your vote is your Voice!

Your vote and your voice matter!

Believe It!

Regarding dahmer...

I could stand only 5 minutes of the Netflix movie on jeffrey dahmer before turning it off. I refused to allow it to disturb my peace by watching Black folks and melaninated others be subjected to torture by this white boy with damn near impunity. He was presented as fully human, rarely if ever, seen in handcuffs, much less shackles, despite being fully subhuman as one who preyed upon the most vulnerable and least protected, believed or defended in society.

He was literally a cannibal eating people and was treated with more dignity and respect,  once finally arrested, than will be many Black folks stopped for a mere traffic violation. Until justice was rightfully served him by another inmate, he was never treated as the heartless barbarian that he truly, truly was.

Once again, as was the case for dylan roof, the Charleston mass murderer and payton gendron, the Buffalo mass murderer, and so many other white male mass murderers, white skin trumped that he be treated or paraded before the cameras for the world to see, as the violent criminal deviant he was. The courts and the media  presented him as a poor pathetic mentally imbalanced and  fragile white boy deserving of prayers and sympathy. 

Although he had tortured and eaten others, no one was afraid of him, not the cops who arrested, not the sheriff officers who escorted him for court proceedings, not the judge with the gavel, nor the baliff maintaining order in the court. No One was afraid of a real live human consuming cannibal! No One! 

The press and the courts humanized him and never attacked, persecuted or belittled him or his family. Somehow the public was supposed to feel sorry and of course be forgiving and understanding of familial dysfunction. He was a barbaric cannibal!

To each his own but I opted to protect my peace [of mind] and I refused to watch us, Black folks and other naturally melaninated people, being unapologetically disrespected yet again...

#protectyourpeace

#noto the doublestandard

#nojustice

A Family That Shoots Together...

 

Family Values

Well looka' here!  A "family" that shoots together...

Are these your neighbors? 

Has this "family" been persecuted by the media for raising such an egregious subhuman masquerading as a child?

Has anyone called this 18 year old a full size "man" or is he still cast as "teenager" suggesting youthful indiscretion and some expectation of understanding and eventual forgiveness?

Have these "parents" been condemned by the media for rearing this young killer thug?

How about endangering the welfare of children? Have these breeders, AKA "parents", been arrested for exposing the gendron minor children to firearms?

Are the young ones in the photo still in the "family" home or have they been emergency removed for their own safety pending investigation?

Oh! Silly me! The drill I describe is reserved for when the accused is Black or non-white. What was I ever thinking?

White families are not dragged through the mud. The accused is not called a murderous thug POS or a victim of neglectful, uncouth, uneducated, poor or single "parents" who likely bred him on beer, fear, prejudice and overdoses of racism while taking pictures of themselves teaching "sweet little johnny" and the other of their offspring how to shoot, but an innocent, precious child, who's just a little disturbed, a victim of bullying, and/or of course, suffering from mental illness, better referred to as, delusions of white superiority.

Forgive me, I got stuck on this stupid notion of fairness and equality in  reporting, in arrests, in social service intervention,  in legal response.

This guy walks away without even a cut or a hair out of place. Buffalo PD said something about not being able to shoot because the murderer was wearing a bullet proof vest. I am told that it is for this reason cops are trained on the "Mozambique Technique", 2 shots to the body, 1 shot to the head. So, they forgot? ALL of them? The entirety of the force at the scene? Shall there be discipline for failing to perform? Not ONE shot fired at the menacing AR toting, sweet little innocent mass murdering payton [gendron]. You mean, they weren't fearful for their lives or the lives of others who they are sworn to protect and serve? Amazing! It has been proven that a Black "suspect", could have been holding a bag of Skittles, a toy gun, a cell phone, a butter knife, his body would be so full of gun holes, not even his Mama would have recognized him. SMH... Something has to give y'all. The inequities cannot continue.

Are the cops afraid of Black men in general or are they afraid of karma because of that which they have done historically and/or while out of sight to Black men? Are they fearful of the revenge they would seek against those who have harmed, violated or trespassed against them? Are these cops fit to police? I'm Just Askin'...

To take these young white killers into custody without incident or harm to them is to send a message of approval and to encourage copycats. What is the deterrent? Hell, the cops will all but high five these murderers and even roll them by Burger King on the way to the pokie'. It becomes a game and instead, when/because they live unharmed after killing innocent others, to include innocent children but especially Black folks, they are hailed as heroes in the warped minds of their community of fellow racists who are likely encouraged by this lackadaisical police response to become police officers themselves. The beat, more sadly however, the mass shootings, goes on...

#stopthemadness 

Role Model Parents 

 

Harmless suspect taken into custody by friendly police. Next stop Burger King 

Your Co-workers 
Your supervisor at work 
Your friendly neighbors 
Your child's scout leaders 
Your child's school teacher 
Good Christians...

Future school, church, mall, supermarket mass shooter in training 

My Choice

With all this talk going on about the end of a woman's right to CHOOSE abortion and the leak of the decision from the Supreme Court to abolish that choice, I am moved to share my views on choice. A lot of people claim to be pro-choice but are you really?

Most believe in choice or one's right to regulate her body as stopping at abortion, stopping at gender. That's limited choice, still in judgment of the choice(s) of others.

To believe in real choice, extends to anything that one chooses to do with their body. There is no judgment nor need to understand or endorse personal decisions of choice made by others about what to do, or not to do, to or with their body. It's their body, their choice, their business...

I choose to mind my business about your choices. Let people do with their body, that which they choose. If there is to be a problem with their Maker, they will find out in due time. I have nothing to do with it.

You want to have the baby? Have the baby.

Want to abort the baby? Abort the baby.

Do you want to take the medicine that might save your life? Take it. Don't want it? Don't take it.

Wanna' end your life? It's your life, end it. But be respectful however, of those you will leave behind. Don't do it in the living room where your loved ones will gather to watch TV after you are gone. Don't even do it in the house or other personal space where they must live.  If you're planning it, be mindful and do it somewhere that will not haunt your loved ones daily. After all,, they will be hurt by and mournful of your choice. Yes, there should be etiquette to even this choice. I digress. I actually could write several essays on that...

Wanna' tat' your body beyond recognition risking your bloodstream and God knows what else? Do you. Pay my facial expression no mind. I'm working on it. LOL!

If everyone could just mind your business and let people do with their bodies that which they will, as they leave you to do with yours what you will, we'd be a whole lot better off. How about that?

It's dreadful that the Courts are even considering reversing long ago decided law, a Woman's Right To Choose. It is legal meddling that really has very little to do with the constitution, law, religion, morals or preserving life. That too, is another story for which I have a whole other theory. Ending one's right to choose abortion is just as dreadful as when the court punished Dr. Kevorkian and imprisoned him for honoring the will or choice of others to die with dignity. He's an unsung hero in my book. I celebrate the man and his work.

How is it that immoral hypocrites, who have chosen abortion in the[ir] past or who actively exercise the choice to abort in the dark of night, get to judge morality by which others should live? Help me to understand...

I can't say it enough. Mind your business and your religion. Leave other folks to their business and their religion or whatever might be their moral compass. They get to choose.

This is my truth and you don't have to agree. Really, you don't. I get to choose...

#proALLchoice
#promindyourdamnbusiness
#proshameonthecourts

Messages In The Music

This is a Stevie Wonder and 70's music kind of day in my house. What beautiful, beautiful music. This new generation is sadly so culturally deprived of the brilliance of sheer musical genius innate to Black people. Music formerly called jazz, blues, soul or rhythm and blues. Black people are the creator of most genres of music, which, throughout history, has been stolen from us. I remember as a kid looking forward to watching the music award programs, because Black folks were sure to dominate and far outshine all other entertainers. No contest! We went to school on the following day, chests poked out and no short supply of bragging rights! We took full advantage of all such opportunities as they availed themselves. Of course, we did.

It has been taught to me recently that Black music was deliberately destroyed because they knew that's where we received our strength, our guidance and our positive messages to keep us strong, defiant and mindful of our value and worth no matter what was being said about us, told to us or done to us. 

From picking cotton in the blazing sun under the threat of lash, to the injustices of jim crow, to infiltration and destruction of the Black liberation organizations by the US government, flooding our communities with drugs and ultimately, all efforts to destroy the Black family, they could not break us, our spirit, our resilience or our will to fight. We were never intended to be strong, confident, independent or to survive. But we have...

Our music reminded, fortified and spoke to us. When all else failed us, our music lifted us, be it spiritual or secular. It was our source of pride and brought us common joy that sometimes only we understood.

So, they changed our music to what is now void of musical instruments, beats and melodic voices. Instead, it is now replete with self-demeaning, vile and negative messaging. It is so hurtful to my ears [and to my heart] that in the summer when stopped at a red light and someone pulls up next to me with the outrageous "lyrics" blasting from their car, I roll up my window and pull up if I can. I don't want it wafting in my window, not even for a minute.

Instead of building the minds of the listener, today's "music" is destroying the minds and the will of far too many and that folks, is deliberate, VERY deliberate and we are complicit in either our silence, purchase or performance of this "music". I believe that. Even some who perform and/or produce the junk "music" know the long term effects. They don't let their own kids listen to it. Yet they "sing" it feeling no responsibility to the collective. These individuals, with their individual focus, are responsible for loading the musical gun aimed directly at us and killing us, the collective, ever so slowly but ever so surely...

There is no way that one can repeatedly hear the same message, be it positive or negative, and not be effected to respond accordingly. Wanna' stop the violence? First step is to change the message in the music. Nothing about that is rocket science. It's actually pretty elementary...

Blow the dust off your old albums and play them! MAKE your kids listen. Share with them the happy stories and now abandoned traditions from your youth. Inspire them and as you are inspired to remember who we are, why we are, how we are, how we have come to be and how we have maintained, no matter the odds, no matter the hate and racism, no matter the obstacles. We are a phenomenal people and still we rise...

Beautiful, beautiful Black people. Beautiful, beautiful Soul music! Cherish It and Celebrate Us!

After The Debacle...

A day later after the fall out from the 'Will Smith Does The Oscars' debacle and I really, really hate that it ever happened. I am imagining that by now Will has assessed what he did and knows that it was terribly wrong. He has since released a public apology to Chris Rock, the public and the academy and probably wishes that he could take back or redo that one horrible minute of his life. I don't know what he was thinking or how he didn't, in that walk toward the stage, take time to [re]consider or take stock of what he was about to do. Take the mic, yell at or upstage Chris, anything but assault him...


I cannot imagine how Chris Rock, who demonstrated commendable restraint and who I think is a really nice guy, must be feeling. Surely he didn't think that he was about to be assaulted as he acknowledged Will's approach to the stage. Certainly, he didn't deserve what his friend, fellow comedian and/or colleague did to him on the world stage no less. Despite the shock of it all, being blindsided with a slap that has now been heard around the world, he was the consummate professional. He maintained his dignity, did not yield to cocky male ego or a need to "save face". Instead, he tried his best to rebound or salvage civility. In the midst of crazy, he did his best to manage a truly shocking, unpredictable and unexpected situation.


Thankfully, Chris did not respond in kind to Will's violence. There was nothing to have been gained from witnessing two rich and professional men all dressed up and physically fighting. Even from his seat however, Will was resistant to Chris' cooler head prevailing. He rejected following his lead of mature composure and further exacerbated an already bad situation.


I do not believe that Chris knew about Jada's alopecia. He does not have a history of being that kind of person. Heretofore, both Chris and Will have been thought to be nice people given their roles in Holly-weird. Recently Will has been open about coming to terms with a misplaced ego in certain aspects of his career and marriage and deeply remorseful about the horrible way he treated his co-star Janet Hubert (Aunt Viv). He used his power to ruin her and her career. It was refreshing to see him come to terms with and own the truth of his youthful arrogance and now this. It is all so unnecessary and so unfortunate...


Hopefully this is reparable and will result in a teachable moment for all of us. For right now however, it is still really bad. Will lost a lot, so much more than Chris. He has enjoyed a stellar reputation as a nice guy, the good guy with the good Grandmother who demanded clean rap lyrics. He has always been a decent role model for our children and an example of a roadmap for grace and success for many. He was a West Philly favored son, born and raised. That's a lot of pressure. We all have our breaking point. Sadly, his was in the most public of settings and is forever memorialized. We must give him grace and space to be fallible, to be human...


This is all so unfortunate but yet another test for Will Smith. Others have rebound from adversity. It is my sincere hope and belief that he will too...

~ Miss Higgi

Don't Dance on My Pain...

A high school friend posted on her Facebook page that she attended a wedding at a plantation in Florida. I posted the forthcoming comment in response. Just say NO to invitations of celebration at plantations! It ain't cool! 

Plantations are former torture camps! The history is real. The history is painful. To celebrate at these venues is the height of insensitivity toward Black Americans, some of whom you may call "friend". Don't invite us. Better yet, don't you go! 

Partying at a plantation is like dancing in Germany's gas chambers. These places should not be celebrated and in no way can they be sanitized. Their history is real...

Want the truth of what happened on America's plantations? Visit Whitney Plantation in Louisiana. NOTHING good came from the barbarity of slavery as NOTHING good came of the torture of people of Jewish faith in concentration camps across Germany. Nothing! Somehow, Germany understands that. America wants [us] to erase or forget. Never shall I forget. My Ancestors won't allow it. They [We] shall not be canceled... 

Wanna' cancel something? Cancel these venues! #Boycottplantations 

I hope my classmate understands what triggered this emotion. In the spirit of raising her level of [racial] consciousness, increasing her [and others] sensitivity to the realness and existence of Black pain, in fulfillment of my civic duty to say something when I see something, satisfying my duty to say "ouch" when it hurts, here is what I unapologetically wrote on my classmate's page: 

Getting married, creating a Bed & Breakfast, or having any other kind of happy occasion at a plantation is akin to having a party at Auschwitz in Germany. It just ain't gonna' happen and no explanation of why it ain't gonna' happen need be spoken. It is as understood as is the inhumanity of the holocaust. So, what makes a plantation in the US different than a Jewish concentration camp in Germany, I ask in all sincerity??? 

This is more of America's history she refuses to face, what she is trying to erase. There is nothing happy or joyous about plantations. Horriific and atrocious acts of barbarity were committed at plantations. In no way should these places be beautified or glorified. To do so is the height of insensitivity to Black Americans and by extension, persons of Jewish faith. I hope neither community support these venues... 

There is no sanitizing or washing away the history or the pain of rape, torture and other acts of inhumanity that happened upon that soil. There is blood in the soil that cannot be washed or danced away... 

I wish ghosts were real or that  trees and walls could talk. My Ancestors would have plenty to say. There would be no joy or happy occasions to be had at America's southern plantations, as there is nothing joyous, happy or beautiful about them. As they are torture chambers, they should be boycotted.

Don't Dance on My Pain...

#Americandenialisreal #Boycottplantationsp

Protect Your Peace

I said to a friend a few weeks ago advice that I need to take for myself and that I gladly share with others. We must be intentional about protecting our peace. Once you find it, don't let others disturb it, no matter who they are... ~Miss Higgi (Photo, Ghana 2014)

Good Parents; Our Greatest Gift

 In preparing a lesson for my class to talk about poverty, I could not help but think of my Mother raising five children by herself and imagining the many, many sleepless nights she must have had trying to figure out how to keep us together and make ends meet.

Of course we were poor. She was a single woman with five children. Crazily however, people in the neighborhood used to say, "those Higginbothams got money!" How could we possibly have money? We were one of very few single parent families in the neighborhood. It was the 60s and 70s and yes, many Black families were still intact. Don't believe the hype! Against all odds to destroy our family structure, many were holding it down, poor and otherwise.

Despite a great start, my father gave up really early. He and my Mom had worked so hard that by the time I started kindergarten, we were the third Black family to move into an all white neighborhood, which is a story in itself. Let's just say, our white neighbors were not so welcoming. My Mom told us their stories of putting cherry bombs in our   mailbox, throwing for sale signs in our yard, of course, their children were forbidden to play with us and as more Black families moved in, municipal services like school bus transportation, just stopped. We were five so we played with one another.

Thanks to my father, and my Mother who also worked, we were living the dream, "moving on up!", so to speak. My parents were in their 20s. Once however, my father decided not to come home anymore, the court ordered $25 per week child support for FIVE kids! Laughable! He never paid. He lived and died in arrears...

My Mom raised us singlehandedly as did many other Black Women. Therefore, hashtag, I AM NOT A FEMINIST! Black Women were "roaring", if you will, burning their bras, bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan long before it became fashionable, courageous or some catchy soundbite for white women to  wear as a badge of honor symbolizing having found herself or announcing to the world her newfound freedom demanding to be seen, validated and heard.

Not necessarily by choice and certainly not to make a political statement, somehow single Black Mothers found the strength to protect and make sure that her children never went without. I know nothing of being hungry, cold, wearing tattered or shabby clothing, bearing the responsibility of raising my younger siblings or going without the necessities of life. We had as much in terms of material things, and maybe more love, as did most other children in our neighborhood.

It was a different time. Kids were not hung up on overpriced designer labels. Some kids got teased yes, but no one got killed for a pair of sneakers.

Designer labels hit the scene somewhere during my high school years. Mommy bought us knock offs or moderately priced slightly "irregular" Gloria  Vanderbilt or Calvin Klein jeans or Chuck Connor Allstar sneakers. Remember that? LOL! There were whole stores specifically selling "irregulars"!

Despite the odds, my Mom sacrificed, likely her life with stress and worry dying of cancer at the tender age of 45, so that we could live a decent life. My Mother was not unique. Many a poor Black child never knew or felt poor thanks to many a Black Mom. Since slavery, the Black Mother  has been the epitome of the "tiger" or  protective Mom, born likely not by choice but from necessity,  probably having  to do with bearing the pain of her husband being sold away from her and having her suckling babies literally snatched from her breast and also sold on an auction block. Let us never forget...

The Black Woman knows pain, thus giving birth to the facade of  Strong Black Woman. Is she real? Are all Black Women strong or us it an ill-gotten perception? How does she show up in the world when she is not strong? Is her strength an asset, a burden or is it the mask she wears to cover her [our] pain? Sistah love is real and imperative to feed our soul, so Black Women, we MUST Gather...

Although outwardly strong, our Mothers were not super women, they were tired women and we must always honor, revere and protect them where we can. I have always said, if I must be poor, I choose being Black and poor. So many times we manage to wear "poor" or mask it in pride so well, such that even we forget.

Many a Black Mother shielded us to never have poor mindsets, despite our financial reality. I remember my Mom saying we were "poor kids with rich ideas". I recall her ever so clearly saying that to me when I told her I was going to study abroad in Spain. We had never been on an airplane before. I was 21. She was 39ish. She died never having flown. Never did she get to meet the jetsetting spirit she unintentionally unleashed in her daughter, who would travel the world,  during that long reluctant drive to JFK Airport wherein she prayed all the way that I would not dare get on that big ole' airplane to parts unfamiliar, beyond her reach and protection of her wing. She really did pray that I would come to my senses and drive back home with her but still, she let me fly. She was proud. She loved bragging rights about her kids. Me living in Spain, was one of those rights for sure! Seemingly she was oblivious, never fully realizing or  understanding that it was she who planted those "rich kid" seeds in our minds. My greatest regret is not being able to take care of and spoil her in return. I did little things before she died, but I wanted to do so much more.

I'll Always Love My Mama! STILL, she is truly my favorite Girl!!!

Pass this blog post on and share your stories of love about your Black Mother or Father with others, especially your children, preferably with her or him if s/he is still here to receive your flowers. While the story of my father is woe, leaving my frame of reference maternal love, I fully appreciate being deprived of the great love many a child knows of their father. Celebrate him too! Don't wait until your parents birthday, Christmas, Mother's or Father's Day or God forbid, theit funeral. Give them their roses everyday! If we are blessed, one or both of our parents are our gift that never stops giving. Miss Higgi Says, Thank them...

Where Is The Humanity?

 

Murder Victim Daunte Wright with Baby Son

An Asian female judge cried when she had to sentence the white woman killer cop to a mini vacation in prison for the murder of Daunte Wright. The Black female judge hugged & gave a Bible to the white female killer cop that she "was forced" to send to prison for the murder of Botham Jean. Are you seeing any trends here?

White women cops killing innocent Black men. Turn on the waterworks. Flowing tears resulting in slap on the wrist sentencing and remorseful judges. Tears, hugs and Bibles not for the victim or his family, but for the "poor" white woman cop a jury forced these fragile, and clearly biased, judges to sentence to prison. What?

This judge who, between tears, plead the case for this MURDERER even better than did her paid counsel, had the audacity to interject George Floyd in her sentencing, justifying her inadequate sentence because murdering kim didn't leave her knee on Daunte's neck for 9 minutes. Somehow this made her commission of murder of a Black man less harmful, less impactful or less destructive than chauvin's murder of George Floyd and thus, warranted only slap on the wrist, sentencing well below the standard. I guess in her mind, kim the murderer has suffered enough. Do these judges have this kind of compassion when the defendants are Black? Where are the tears, Bibles, hugs and regrets of sending them/us off to prison?

This judge obviously saw the murdering white female cop as human, a sentiment not bestowed the Wright Family. The tears she wept were not for Daunte or his Family but for the murderer cop who she all but called a good cop and for the pain of feeling forced to send to prison even if only for a minute. Her life mattered said the judge who told us of all she still has to offer society. What about Daunte? Had he nothing to offer? How about his now fatherless son? What about his grieving parents?

What would be the Asian judges sentencing if the dead victim and grieving Family looked like her? Would she then see them as human and dispense law in the name of law not in the name of her emotions? I guess not only Becky' hides behind their tears...

It seems for Black folks to get justice or to be perceived HUMAN and capable of feeling hurt or pain, murders of us must be brutal AND televised? And then, maybe then, this judge, racist cops and others might see us as human and grant us dignity and some semblance of justice! When they see us...

This case took me right back to Latasha Harlins. Her life did not matter either. It was a white female judge who sentenced a Korean woman to probation for the cold blooded murder of her. She was 15 and already regarded as less than human. Her Family's pain was irrelevant. This fight is never over...

How dare this woman who society gives cover as a person of color, thereby denoting some understanding or appreciation of the experience of being Black in America, which is the foundation of all that is race in America. She knows not my experience and never can she stand in my shoes... She is a convenient scapegoat or deflection used to avoid the conversation of race as it pertains to Black folks in America. POC or biracial my ass! She is Asian. Daunte was Black. The ending of this tragic story unfolded accordingly. His life and his death mattered not. This judge, as did the murdering cop, saw not his humanity or content of his character, that other convenient deflection or distortion of Dr. King's words, she saw the color of his skin. Justice in America reigns on.

Where Is the Humanity, you ask? There is no humanity! 

 

 #BlackFamiliesHurt2 #BeckyTears #BlackTwitter #whentheyseeus #Karen #dauntewright

Happy Birthday Dr. King!

Happy Birthday Dr. King!

This morning I listened to a friend's radio tribute to Dr. King and was reminded of the struggle to get recognition of his birthday as a national holiday. AZ was the last hold out state to oppose the holiday under the late "great" Senator John McCain. Ironically, it is now AZ Congresswoman sinema who is threatening our right to vote. Damn Arizona!

We were just kids. Stevie Wonder, Coretta King and others were marching in the streets and fighting for the legislation of his birthday as a holiday. My earliest memories, long before the holiday was confirmed, are that Black students did not go to school on his birthday. We didn't wait for others to acknowledge, validate or give us permission to celebrate our hero, we affirmed ourselves for ourselves. May we find that same audacity again, especially during the urgency of now...

The least political of Black parents supported the children's annual boycott of school. I would imagine many of them, those who could, took the day off from work. The Black community made our own holiday and decidedly celebrated Dr. King in our own way.

Black churches and others in the community started a "day of service" in celebration of Dr. King. It was not to be a day off but a day to be "on", to do something constructive in the community, volunteerism of some kind. I remember volunteering at many a soup line or homeless shelter. It was a very special time in the Black community that spread to the community at large once the day became a national holiday. We must now protect the day from losing any bit of its legitimacy by becoming commercialized.

Today, feeling very despondent by the current state of things, I CHOOSE to be reminded that Dr. King did not die in vain. I CHOOSE to be reminded and inspired that he was in his mere twenties when he picked up the baton and began his fight for civil rights, equality and justice for all. I will CHOOSE to be reminded and inspired that he was only in his thirties when certain others decided, as now have their offspring, that he was too great a threat to their version of "democracy" and therefore should not continue to live. They assassinated him as their descendants are currently very preoccupied with trying to assassinate Black access to the polls and our right to vote AND everyone's right to learn the truth of America's history, theirs and that of Black Americans.

I will CHOOSE today to be deliberately and positively moved by the spirit, memory, legacy, might and audacity of Dr. King.

Happy Martin Luther King Day Everyone!

(2022)