Earlier this week I had occasion to host a meeting where a white male was invited to speak to a mostly Black and Brown audience. I don't think he was even aware of how he was received. His tone, his posture, his remarks, his everything was just dismissive, condescending and very white male-ish, "I'm in charge"...
It's a shame when people can't see how they are received but at the end of the day, it's up to the audience, especially Black and/or Brown people, or sometimes just women, to make it clear that we hear you and we will not be spoken to or treated as such!
It is up to us to teach others how to treat us. Therefore, I will have a conversation with the young man and hopefully set him on a better path or at least give him some perception of how he was received. I don't expect that he will hear me. Maybe he will hear the next person as it is our duty to let people like him know how they made us feel. Our comfort matters...
I received him negatively after my second encounter with him. Those days are over. You don't get to presume that as the "dominant" or majority culture that always you are right and everybody else around you is wrong or problematic and will eventually fall in line or else... This is not your father or grandfather's generation. You have to take into consideration who is your audience and how you are being received.
It is not a given that just because one is white, male or female for that matter, that their word is bond and is going to be received as gospel and not questioned. I don't think he has learned that lesson yet.
We teach folks how to treat us. Time to start teaching new lessons...
Beautifully stated as are all your thought provoking posts! If there are any voices crying out in the wilderness making our presemce known...with dignity elegance grace, straight no chaser. love you Queen Higgi!
ReplyDeleteThat is their conditioning but as we move forward and exert our influence we must call it out when we see it. Good for you...keep doing you.
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