Her Name Is Amanda...

 

This young Woman did us proud, especially her Mama, a single woman who by no surprise is an English teacher. Her name is Amanda Gorman, poet laureate for President Joe Biden's inauguration. I heard her in an interview this morning say that she had a speech impediment. Reading poetry was the therapy that helped her to overcome it. How beautiful! She plans to be POTUS in 2036, I think that's the year she cited but it is on her agenda! Dream Big Lil'  Sis! Dream Big!!!

Our dear Maya is looking down beaming with pride. This young lady picked up and is carrying her baton well. Oprah gave Amanda a ring in the shape of a bird cage to wear today. 

This is ALL so appropriate! Amanda, Officer Eugene Goodman, the hero from the January 6 coup attempt, and Silvester Beaman, the AME Pastor who closed the inauguration. OMG! And did you see our forever First Lady Michelle? She continues to show up and represent so well! 

Nice start Joe!

Peace in Twitter world reigns supreme. Thank You God...

Click here to enjoy Ms. Gorman's poem, The Hill We Climb.

Her name is Amanda and she did us proud!

💝❤💚

On Black Fragility...

This meme suggesting that Black folks too are fragile, was posted for discussion on a Facebook page. The question is quite provocative and necessary for Black folks to ask ourselves. While our personal fortitude and resilience may be stronger and more enduring than others, it does not minimize the hurt and trauma of being Black in America. It does not excuse or minimize our need to address it. 

I learned earlier this week that here has been an update re: the murder of George Floyd. The judge decided there will be two trials instead of one; one for the actual murderer and another joint trial for the three accomplices who were actually on site because we know that his biggest accomplice is a system that supports him from arrest to conviction to incarceration of Black faces. They call it justice but that's just a buzzword absent substance and meaning for the Black community. 

Last week I also saw that the NYPD cop who did the unthinkable and sodomized Haitian arrestee, Abner Louima, with a plunger handle following an arrest for a fight at a party, wants leniency after 21 years in prison. He wants to come home to his Family because of COVID.  Ain't that special??? My guess is that the loved ones of so many murdered by police officers across this nation want for their loved ones to come home. Leave him in there! Abner does not object to his early release... 

Yesterday NY AG Letitia James filed a civil suit against NYPD demanding that NYC address and be held accountable for the brutality committed by its officers. Public hearings were comprised of countless heartbreaking stories from citizens. Thank God for AG James! Let the officer remain in prison. 

I hear about the complicity by elected officials and officers of the law in the attempted coup of the US Government last week. I didn't watch but am now seeing pieces of absolute mayhem and anarchy that would never be tolerated by non-white men or females of any hue and I am reminded of the brutal on camera beating of Rodney King specifically, but others as well, and  all the times we were told not to believe our lying eyes in the face of police brutality and how mainstream, aka white, America has been duped into believing the narrative of the "do-gooder" cop just doing his or her job but who felt fearful and intimidated into shooting to kill the unarmed "scary" Black person, man, woman and even child. Was that fear we saw of armed violent, militant and angry white folks last week? I can't tell... 

I wonder in light of all of that was made crystal clear on January 6, what are white folks telling themselves about themselves this time. Their people are captured on film. There are no non-whites to blame it on. 2020 like no other year in recent times, has forced white America to assess her own pathologies where her usual M-O is to create, assess and then employ herself "fixing" pathologies in others. Not this time. The ugly baby in the bath water is hers and hers alone. What will she say? I'm listening...

Back to us. Living while Black in America is traumatic. I don't know about you but I have yet to watch George Floyd cry for his Mother. Rarely any more do I watch the footage of murders of Black folks by white cops. When I do it is with baited breath and my body fills with anger and/or anxiety. By not watching, I am protecting my mind and rejecting the possibility of normalizing or becoming desensitized or accepting as status quo, via  constant viewing, the murder of people who look like me. I reject it. Remember COPS and all those jailhouse series. That's what they did, they made it normal for cops to be bad, those shows gave crime a Black face for the world to see, including our kids...

This past week seeing all those white terrorists who were ALLOWED, AIDED & ABETTED to wreak havoc and destruction at the nation's sacred Capitol ironically built by enslaved Black folks, to include MURDER, TERRORISM & BEATING cops and essentially nothing has happened to them. They were not deterred and largely they will not be held accountable in terms of a brand of justice known to and reserved for Black folks in America. One cop murdered, another beaten so badly with a fire extinguisher that he will lose an eye, all caught on camera I'm sure and NO ONE has been arrested? Unheard of!!! 

White America MUST look her pathologies in the face and accept that it is she who needs assessment. It is she who tolerated and made excuses for and tried to explain trump for 4 years. It is she who is the face of the 74 Million who voted for trump and who showed up at the Capitol to KILL elected officials at his delusional, self serving direction. How do you spell T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T? Ask Black people, we know all too well that which America still wants to deny... How do you spell C-O-U-P? Tell me again, who's angry? SMH...

But in light of all of this Black people are not super human. Like white folks, except for legitimate reasons, we too, are fragile. Ours plays out differently but we too have a breaking point. Fannie Lou Hamer put it to words for us more than 50 years ago, We Are Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. STILL we are sick and tired...

Black folks, let's take care of yourselves and each other. Do your best to consciously not internalize other people's stuff. While no other better than us can diagnose and tell her what is her problem, leave white America to assess and fix herself. We cannot and should not save her this time. Instead, we must tend to ourselves...

Power to the People!

💓🖤💚

Shattered Mugs

Having visions of cups and dreams shattering in my head this morning... 

My keepsake from traveling is to collect coffee mugs with the names of the places I've visited. I love my mugs. They provide my occasional trip down Memory Lane. I moved over the weekend so I've got some work to do and I'se tired y'all!!!


Last night I picked up a box packed with my travel mugs and the bottom fell out. All I heard was the clinking of mugs crashing on one another. My heart sank...


International Mugs:
Egypt
Argentina
Australia
Brazil
Belize
Montreal
Niagara Falls
Santo Domingo, DR
Costa Rica


Domestic Mugs:
Colorado
Chicago
Florida
Vegas
New York
Atlantic City - LOL!
Carolina Beach - Where is that? I had to look it up. LOL! Sorry NC! I had a really pretty mug. I am sure I had a GREAT time!


Museum or Keepsake Mugs:
Frederick Douglas
Hallmark Maya Angelou
Howard University
US Capitol - Obama Inauguration


Some I am sure I am not recalling. Devastating...


To wake this morning to a text of what surely will become a reality, that airplane travel will be denied those who refuse the COVID vaccine deeply disturbs my dreams. Travel is what I do. I have said all along that such would become the case.


I predict no travel, no health insurance, no employment, no enrollment in school and God knows what else for non-compliant people. We are going to be bullied or shepherded like cattle to get this shot trusting the government or not...


Long before trump we were conditioned to not trust this type of move. History has certainly trained Black America not to trust... Last night I watched a Mike Wallace 60 Minutes interview from the 70s that someone shared with me of Americans being scared by the government to take the swine flu shot because of one death and few reported others who recovered at Fort Dix military base ironically here in NJ. Americans sued like hell when many were left with neurological and physical disorders. Google it.


US government officials looked like fools lying that they did not know of the potential harms to the public. Only one doctor admitted that they did know of the harms because he had warned them. I wonder what became of him. The original 60 Minutes was investigative journalism at its best! In so many ways history is repeating itself and we are not listening. This time however vaccines will not be voluntary and we will have no legal remedies. Big Brother paying attention to and relying on history to take care of Big Brother...


I am not feeling good about this at all and am quite disturbed that my opinion and decision about what to do to or with my body is being denied me. What happened to pro-choice? Does it stop at abortion? Hmmm.... It is disturbing that folks who speak against or question the vaccine are being silenced, ridiculed or attacked. I am disturbed by all the people who say they "can't wait" to take the vaccination without question seemingly out of fear or desperation. Yes be excited and anxious about the possibility of ending the nightmare but to not question, be concerned or to just fall in line like good desperate sheep is disconcerting...


Like it or not, we are mere pawns in vicious game caught up in a capitalistic quandary. We are slammed with so much information, we don't know who to believe or trust. As we know, money is the root of all evil. Lots of folks stand to make tons of money on this forced injection project. Money over safety and welfare is how capitalism works... Big Brother is driving this train with no brakes and no intention of slowing down for even the most dangerous curves, much less stopping.


Our rights are eroding and we are not questioning because we are so tired (of trump and the madness that has accompanied him for four years) and so terribly scared and afraid of COVID, we are eagerly endorsing it. Government and Big Business is loving our obedience. If this is a test, we will fail miserably. Once this stitch is sewn, they will push this needle through different fabrics of our society against our will. We will have given them the thread (permission). Sigh...


I think of the lost lives and I am deeply saddened that during the worse possible crisis, America accepted the most incredibly incompetent and heartless "leadership" imaginable. How many have died needlessly? How many will be forced to vaccinate against our will? How does one not care that more than 1/4 million are dead. I would care even if white supremacists were dying, and they will. Really I would...


I hope the Biden administration staggers these shots allowing folks like me who are uncomfortable time to ask questions, sit back and observe the affects on non-affects on others, allow us to make informed decisions before forcing us to vaccinate. That is the least that they can do. Although it will kill me, if mandated, I will forgo travel until I feel comfortable that the vaccine is safe. This is the adult version of the still unsettled mandatory childhood vaccination debate. I hear them. Our government is pushing the envelope...


Someone pointed out that China seems to have controlled their pandemic absent a vaccine. A good friend pointed out that we must trust science and that research for this vaccine started not in 2020 but many years ago with SARS. She works in the medical field and plans to be among the first in line. She is disheartened that, as planned, the public is questioning science...


Thank You God for allowing me to travel and see so many wonderful places, meet so many amazing people and have so many unforgettable experiences. Memories are forever and what pleasant dreams are made of. They cannot be shattered when the bottom falls out, be it a box, the world, or our freedom and rights as we know them. I am forever thankful for my pre-COVID experiences. I don't see that travel in my lifetime, will ever be the same and like my mugs, that breaks my heart...

I Will ALWAYS Love My Mama...

Today my Mother would have been 79. She died at the tender age of 45. Already I have outlived her by 15 years. Forever she will be young in my mind...

I wonder what she would look like at 79. Her Mom was prematurely gray. She wanted salt and pepper hair so bad. It didn't happen... I am 60 and have never dyed my hair. The gray matter is just showing up in my hair and seemingly in my brain. Some days, I swear! LOL!!!.. 

How cool would she be? How cool would I be? I was her "ride or die" and she knew that...

She used to call me "Lita". Her favorite pastime was bragging about her children. Would she be proud of her Lita? Would I have fulfilled my dream to fill her life with joy and all the material things she sacrificed in her own life raising her five babies? Every year I showered her with tokens of my love for her birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day and of course Christmas. Her friends would eagerly ask, "what did Helen give you this year"? I loved giving her more bragging rights. I lived to make her happy. Now I live...

Would she be in good health? My health is giving me challenges I never expected at 60. WTF??? I watch so many friends struggle with decisions about what to do, where to live, how to manage care and residence for parents aging or with ailing health and I don't envy the very difficult decisions that come with inevitable parent/child role reversal. I do my best to support and cheer them on from my own frame of reference. I would rather not be the "expert". Sigh...

Recently, I advised a friend who was feeling pressured by doctors to take her 97 year old Mom off a ventilator to ignore the daily badgering from doctors who did not value her Mom's life as does she. I told my friend to ask her Mom what she wanted to do. I told her to have her Mom squeeze her finger, blink her eye but in some way to signal her desire. I told my friend to be frank with her Mother, tell her the options as being presented and let her decide. Speaking from experience, I knew it would ease my friend's burden knowing she had honored her Mother's wishes, no matter the outcome. Her Mom signaled that she wanted to live. The doctors said she might last 8 hours breathing on her own. It has been a matter of weeks. She is off the ventilator and holding her own. My friend is at ease...

I was 26 when Mommy died. We had to make the same decision. The cancer was winning despite her courage, determination and fighting spirit. She still had life and hope, as did we. We were all hoping for a miracle and then some crappy doctor punctured her lung while inserting a portacath. I still remember his name, "Jesus", except he wasn't... 

She ended up on a ventilator and we too were put in the situation of what to do. Although she had always said not to resuscitate her, when it came time to make that decision, I still remember the relief of not being burdened to make the final decision regarding her life. She was able to tell us what she wanted in terms of resuscitation. She was only 45 with two new grandchildren who she adored. She was still young. Life was good. Of course she wanted to live...

Would she have overcome her fear of flying and traveled the world with me? I think so... 

I will never forget her dropping me at JFK to travel for a semester abroad in Spain. She was fearful of my flying and my free spirit I suppose. She never thought I would get on that plane traveling so far away from her and the comfort of the nest she had created. I was 21 and had never flown before. Valencia, Spain was my first flight. I cried like a baby before getting on that plane. I literally had a temper tantrum of proportions on par with any five year old. Still I am embarrassed...

Mommy had gone to park the car and the mean ole' flight attendants made me get on the plane without seeing her to say good-bye. I was beside myself... Still I got on that plane in 1982 and I have been traveling ever since; six of the seven continents. Life has been rewarding... Mommy had written me a long letter to read on the plane, just in case I overcame her fear and got on. She mailed it to me later in Valencia. In it, she told me how proud she was of me. I still have the letter. Five months later, I came home early in May and surprised her for Mother's Day. Thank God I did. I had only four more Mother's Days to give her joy...

If I heard her voice, would I recognize it? Please keep recordings of your loved ones voice. 33 years later and still I want to see her, hold her, tell her how much I love and admire her (which I did not say often enough), thank her for life but oh to hear her voice...

Every year on her birthday, I hear Eric Clapton singing Tears from Heaven in my head. It is a sad song he wrote about the death of his 5 year old young son. I cannot imagine his heartbreak. They say the hardest deaths are that of a Mother or a child. I believe it...

Click here to enjoy the lyrics and the softness of his voice, the gentle melody, the peacefulness of the song . All of it, it just soothes me... The lyrics and the audio are posted below.

After raising 5 kids she was just beginning to live when she died. It was her turn. Life can be so damn cruel. Live People Live!!!

Happy "Would Be 79th" Birthday Mommy!!! Lita STILL LOVES you more than you will ever know...

Tears From Heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would it be the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way through night and day

'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees

Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

Beyond the door, there's peace, I'm sure

And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

Would you know my name

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you be the same

If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong and carry on

'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Celebrating Stacey; The "Angry" Black Woman and The Power of One

I read an excellent article this morning, Trump's Accusations of Fraud in Georgia Echo Decades of Racial Violence, Georgia's Black Voters are Carrying on the Fight Their Parents and Grandparents Started.  The opinion piece thoughtfully reviews the historical context of suppression of the Black vote in Georgia specifically but illustrative of how the Black vote was suppressed throughout the south generally and across the nation, albeit more subtlety.

Kudos to Stacey Abrams for avenging in a big way, that which was done to her but more importantly, to our Ancestors who dared to exercise their right to vote. Their blood permeates the red stained soil in Georgia as they were terrorized and murdered for daring to live, act or think themselves full citizens of the US. Is that not ultimately what the exercise of voting really says? 

Still not sure why many Black folks are conflicted or flat out reject citing a pledge of allegiance that does not speak to, for or about us (read it) or saluting a flag that rejects us? 

Still not sure why Colin Kaepernick took a knee and the Black community kneeled with him? 

Still not sure why Black Lives Matter? 

Still not comprehending or appreciating the might of the Black woman and/or the might of the sword  she wields? She bites when provoked. Oh yes she does. Rile her angst at your peril...

Still thinking your Black vote does not count? Think again. Oh yes it does. Our work is not complete. Get to the polls in January in Georgia and all polls beyond...

Protect our Sistah' Stacey. Our Ancestors are rejoicing with us  that she has avenged their dignity and the continued attack on their/our humanity. She restored faith in the power of We the People. That alone is monumental. Black glee, Black pride, Black self determination, Black independence still has a way of scaring the crap out of those who it does not just make damn mad. Protect our Sistah' and those whose spirit she has awakened and joined in unity...

I predict that Ms. Abrams, who has taken and earned her place in history, will be Time Magazine's Person of the Year. If all is fair, OK give me this moment, how could she not be? She is the face of will, determination, resilience and the almighty power of one! 

Call her an "Angry Black Woman". We will own it! If her "anger" fueled the best example of advocacy for civil, social and legal justice for all we have seen since the 1960s, then, may the spirit of Angry Black Women RISE and spread like an underestimated, uncontrolled and largely ignored contagious virus. May her spirit sweep across our nation and around the globe with unapologetic and reckless abandonment. What was it that Ms. Angelou said about us? Phenomenal we are! Believe It!

Miss Higgi Says:

I Love me some Us!

I Love me some Stacey!

Six Years Ago Today...

Upon waking on many mornings, I write. All too often I am writing on FB when in fact I should be writing on this blog or better yet, that book I have known is in me for many years now... 

Daily, FB shares its members, memories from the same day on years gone by. Ironically, what I wrote on this day six years ago is so fitting right now. Check it out...

Helen Higginbotham
November 14, 2014 ·

I had breakfast with an American ex-pat this morning who wants never to live in the US again. She even wants another passport with which she can travel feeling free of disdain so many nations have for America... An older White woman speaking here... Now that's saying something. We might not want to hear it, but it is definitely saying something...


I can't say I am there but living in other places certainly allows one to see just how much can be/needs to be improved in the US. Stop drinking the Koolade, we are not the best...

I am mostly disheartened by the broken American spirit. Not sure what happened, OK not sure HOW it happened, HOW we ALLOWED it to happen... We are moving backward as a nation and seemingly have no will to stop it... That is scary.

When Americans lost their homes, their savings, their pensions, got ripped off by the banks with mortgage schemes, professionals became homeless or working for minimum or lesser wages or were forced to work longer than planned all while bailing out big banks, restrictive laws were passed and corporate execs got richer and we did NOTHING.... That spoke volumes to me. Deeply disturbed that if those occurrences did not make us mad as hell and determined not to take it anymore, I am not sure what will... We feel powerless and our spirit is broken. Damaged people, produce a damaged government, produce damaged future generations...

Forgive the rant. Just what I am feeling this morning after spending most of the last year outside the US.... The US is in trouble and too deluded and egotistical to acknowledge it. Wake Up People, Wake Up!!!

Weekend Binge Watch - Trial 4

Is anyone watching this documentary on Netflix, Trial 4? It is Central Park 5 all over again in Boston 1993. Cold blooded, "win by any means" female prosecutor, phyllis broker, who went on to become and retire as a judge, dirty disgusting and crooked POS cops and get this, a Black DA, Ralph Martin, who allowed that an innocent and nice young man of 19, Sean Ellis, with absolutely no criminal record was railroaded to life in prison without the possibility of parole. From the footage, the judge looks Black too. SMH... It took three trials to convict him. The irregularities and blatant disregard for the law, especially by the cops, are astounding...


Parties identified for some of the most egregious acts refused comment for the documentary. Why can't people just stand in their dirt? Clearly they have ZERO conscience. Do they expect that if ever their deeds are discovered they will be long dead? Despicable people!!!


In this instance, what seems like a dirty cop known for questionable "policing" was shot while sleeping in his car while moonlighting as security at a 24-hour Walgreen. He had ruined so many lives that they didn't know where to start looking for who might have had incentive to kill him execution style. He died the way he policed, inhumanely and unjustly... No matter how dirty, he should not have died that way. His uniform was blue so in death somehow, he is to be revered a "nice guy" and a "dedicated officer". Because of the latter, someone had to pay. ANYbody! ANY Black body!!! SMH...


I am half through but its another Exonerated 5, When They See Us. Only God knows how many young Black men have been falsely accused, prosecuted and imprisoned? All so that someone, cops and sadly, prosecutors as well, can live a full and prosperous life not losing one moments sleep for all the innocent lives and families they have ruined. The lengths to which his peers and others go to avenge the death, discount the deeds and to paint a better picture of what sounds like a very, very bad cop is shameful and truly indicative of what is so very wrong with policing in America and why it is necessary to never back away from nor stop reminding America that BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!


Check it out!

Here is the trailer:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=Q_X_WqC75Yc